You are not allowed to delete your posts and post again if you are not satisfied with the answers. We recommend that you format your posts to make it more readable. This involves splitting up your long posts into paragraphs, and proper punctuation and grammar. If you have an issue with the content on the subreddit, use the report button or contact the moderators. Question Is dating as a musician impossible? I have been making music for about a year now and I'm really getting into it and feel like I'm getting better. But I recently stumbled upon some articles about "why you should not date musicians" and a lot of reddit posts agreeing for example "AskWomen".
I'm 18 years old and a lot of my friends have started dating and I would want to try it for myself as well. No, it's not impossible.
There's a certain stigma around musicians, especially younger guys in a band, that they're emotionally irresponsible, self involved, and selfish Just be a decent person and music will only help you in life.
If you use it for shallow reasons though, that's where the stigma comes from. So are they referring to people that play in bands and such? I do music by myself at home in my freetime at the moment.
Produce electronic music and make beats. I also hear so many people saying that you should not date musicians because of financial problems when they want to jump into the real thing.
I really don't want my music to be a hindrance of dating..
Been single for 18 years. It's true musicians tend not to make much money.RULES ON HOW TO DATE A MUSICIAN
Same with any creative career though. I'm a writer and it's the same deal. But that comes down to being responsible. If it's a hobby to you then you're not trying to live off of it anyway so it's a non issue.
I think you may just be overthinking this. If you enjoy music and are passionate about it then by all means play music! It only makes you a more interesting person. Any online articles that say otherwise are generalized clickbait nonsense. The musician stereotype in the context you are referencing from askwomen is probably more in terms of being a financial provider long term.
At 18 being a musician will be nothing but good for you. Don't worry about what you saw. It's not like shift work where you clock in and clock out. You're constantly thinking of ideas, jamming, painting, trying to open and get the exhibit ready on time. So if you're expectations are for something more stable, then that really sucks. However, there is a big difference between a plain old shitty person and someone who is a musician.
I think maybe that career could breed a more shitty personality because you have to really be self-involved to make it work. I've only really dated actors, writers and one musician now.
Dating a musician reddit
They were all communicative with me, I also think it's because they sowed their oats when they were younger and now they are actually doing their careers proper. However, if they've been through that phase already and you notice they make time for you, you in the green light. He is the most selfish, self-serving person I've known to exist. But other than that there's no general reason not to date one. All those reasons are things that can totally happen in any relationship. All of those reasons excluding band drama can be reasons for dating anybody who doesn't have their shit together.
It's not the occupation, it's the person. Make rules about not dating shitty people. My dad is a recording engineer, and always told me that, but mostly in a teasing way. Jokes on him, I'm the musician in my relationship. My ex-gf said literally that as she broke up with me I'm a musician. I mean yes to all the reasons you listed, but I happened to be a fucked up person at the time and would have done those things whether I was a musician or not.
Probably the worst thing was that I put my career over her and didn't carve out enough quality time. But some musicians get along just fine. No, I dated a musician for almost three years. He and his band mates are all good people, and as long as someone can handle their SO being on tour for half the year, there is no reason why they shouldn't date one.
Unless they're a "musician" who keeps trying to "make it big" and never has any money.
For professional musicians, being a musician is just that: There's no bigger risk of a musician cheating on tour than there is of a business professional SO cheating on a business trip. If they're not shitty, they won't cheat. I wonder if a lot of reddit women view men musicians as the way a lot of reddit men view women with horses. For every man who lives up to a stereotype there are plenty who don't. There are a variety of musicians out there who live a variety of different lifestyles.
My boyfriend is in a post-hardcore rock band and I have horses. I look alt-rocker type and he didn't even know I had them. I talked him into riding one in exchange for trying sushi I liked it, sorta. Anyways, the point is that if you stereotype people based on small parts of who they are you may miss out on something wonderful. Neither my husband nor his friends who are musicians live up to the stereotype that reddit seems to have about musicians.
I've yet to meet one who does. As for "horse girls", I wasn't aware this stereotype existed until reddit. Of all the women I've met who have horses, the only thing they seem to have in common is that they have horses.
I don't like noise and rarely enjoy music so it's a good rule for me personally, because we'd have directly opposing interests. My current SO is a damn good drummer. Sometimes band drama overflows, but he's an extremely chill and even-keeled dude who has his life in order, so I don't care. There are many, many different types of musicians. Sweeping generalizations are never accurate.
You could make those same "accusations" of other professions, as well. There are surgeons who struggle with narcissim, sexual temptation, who write prescriptions for themselves, and who have messy personal lives due to long hours, etc. Maybe if they were a super famous musician and you couldn't handle it I'm the musician in my relationship, but all it amounts to is weekly band rehearsals, taking an hour or so a week outside of that to practice on my own, and very little drama.
I'm a musician in a band. I have a stable live and am generally awesome. I support myself financially.