However, he still goes on match. Is this guy bad news or should I just relax and be fine with the fact that he still logs on to match. As such, some of the comments which I have preserved bring up points that I have since addressed in this revision. Right off the top, you mentioned that you and he have agreed to be exclusive. How clear was his side of the agreement to being committed?
Note that blocking some types of cookies may impact your experience on our websites and the services we are able to offer. These cookies are strictly necessary to provide you with services available through our website and to use some of its features. Because these cookies are strictly necessary to deliver the website, you cannot refuse them without impacting how our site functions.Why is he on dating sites?
You can block or delete them by changing your browser settings and force blocking all cookies on this website. These cookies collect information that is used either in aggregate form to help us understand how our website is being used or how effective our marketing campaigns are, or to help us customize our website and application for you in order to enhance your experience. If you do not want that we track your visist to our site you can disable tracking in your browser here: We also use different external services like Google Webfonts, Google Maps and external Video providers.
Since these providers may collect personal data like your IP address we allow you to block them here. Please be aware that this might heavily reduce the functionality and appearance of our site. Changes will take effect once you reload the page. Vimeo and Youtube video embeds: Admit defeat and cut your losses.
Be willing to walk away. He also talks about personal stuff with him and his whole family and i really thought we were connecting. I also attempted to lose my virginity to him. I never told him i was a virgin the whole time and then it just came out and he was at first mad but then he understood where i was coming from and i kept asking him if he was ok with me not being experienced and he said he was. But always in the back of my mind it has been bothering me that i am inexperienced because he has been around the block and would leave me for someone who is great in the bedroom.
I am alsooo very very shy around him because i like him sooo much and i feel sooo out of place even when doing stuff in the bedroom. I just cant seem to snap out of being scared and shy when im with him.
Recently i just went on match and saw he was active within 24 hrs and im like wtfff. I feel sooo played but i dont wanna jump to conclusions and he hasnt contacted me in 2 days and im feeling like he wants to find someone who is way more experienced than i am. But the thing is we really connected and I dont think anyone can come close. Its sooo strange cause we started hanging out together times a week recently and he just cant stop staring at me at every moment wen im with him.
Im sooo scared to lose this guy and dont know what to think right now. All my friends that I ask think he is playing me and i dont know if i should even listen to anyone because everyone can have their different reasons. Im really falling for this guy and I never ever pressure him on anything cause i know men dont like to be pressured so i kind of take each day as it comes.
Yes, suspicion can destroy a relationship if it is unfounded. But sometimes suspicion is justified. Hana, this guy is looking around while enjoying you and wonderful qualities. Match and eHarmony screen pretty well, and if a guy has an active profile on a site like one of those, it usually and I would say A girlfriend or boyfriend can usually tell it the profile is real in any number of ways — if the profile has exact details about height and weight, the writing style that was used, etc…..
This girl is just going to get hurt. She should leave the guy ASAP. The majority of these guys that get on these dating sites especially Match never get off. Many of them are not serious and they are addicted to Match and other dating sites. I realized after 4 months of being on Match that this was not the venue to use to meet someone if you are interested in a serious long-term relationship.
At some point they are going to get back on. Women would be better off meeting a guy in a traditional setting through work, a friend, museum, whatever. Syndrome … Newness- Grass is Greener Syndrome. An addiction to online dating, even if you have a significant other..
Sorry, but I disagree. Before becoming intimate, demand exclusivity, which also means get off of all dating sites — and let him know that you will check periodically to make sure he does.
Sorry, but he HAS given this girl a reason to distrust him. This same thing happened to me — met a guy on eHarmony. Within a month we felt pretty serious about each other and I asked him if we could agree to be exclusive, including unsubscribing to any dating sites. But 4 months later, I found out he was still on eHarmony but told me he was just on there for fun, changing some information but not conversing with anyone.
Two months later he was on Match. Two years later I found out he was still filling out profiles. By then, I was a mess. He had lied for two years and that is a very long time to be with someone.
Please move on, for the good of your mind and heart. This article is spot on. It was never because of her, it was simply because the suspicion kept eating away at me until I brought it up. Rather than saying anything, I simply ignore it. Thank you so much I really needed to see and hear this, and the fact that it came from a man makes it so much more official for me to do exactly as you said and the article said. When dating online it is imperative you remain open and honest. I met a handsome guy on pof.
We BOTH made a conscious decision to delete our profiles and be exclusive. I kept feeling this uneasiness about him. That is a very unsettling way to feel. My boyfriend and I have been going out for more than a year and we met on meet me. He asked me out and we were together ever since. I deleted my account and I asked him to delete him, which he said he did. However, I was feeling something was going on that I did not know about and so I checked his email which i should not have done and I saw some messages that were from meet me.
However, it was not from his real account. He had created a fake one. It still has all of his pictures. I logged on to it because he gave me his passwords to things and I figured it was the same one. He only talks to girls on there; however, there is nothing like they are meeting up or hooking up at all. He will say hey and talk for about five minutes and then the convo is done. I stopped checking his personal accounts and email after we got in a big fight about whether he was cheating on me or not.
I never felt right about checking it anyway. I thought it was great because he must have stopped after our convo.
However, i checked again today if he had been on, and it said he had three days ago. I am not one to stay in relationships where i am not the main focus, but over a year? That is so many invest feelings. I have no idea what to do. I av friends who always text me i do reply but not with love, i want to ask wat will i do to love someone, and if you can give me the match. Thanks so much, I really appreciated your comment.
Eric, I feel like your post sends out a very sad message to women. You get butterflies and your heart pounds when you see me. You and I have only been dating a short time but the potential is there.
Ask a Guy: We’re Dating, But He Still Checks Match.com
We see each other times per week. You ask for exclusivity and I give this to you. A week later you log onto to Match. So please enlighten me, what does that story look like? We live in different cities but have seen each other almost every weekend except two.
This friend since added me on facebook and so has his housemate. He was also kissing me in front of them too. We were on his laptop and I was on youtube. He went downstairs and I was just looking at songs. I managed to close the tab I was on by mistake and when I opened what I thought was the right one I found it was his dating website profile.
However I knew of the website and I was able to see his profile when I got home. He still checks his profile each day but not multiple times per day. Any advice welcome thanks! I understand what this girl is going through. Also, it can all backfire on you. I also suggest getting yourself tested. The fact of the matter is this kind of thing is a real life concern, not just for fear of being played but for your health and safety.
Since we agreed to be exclusive, how do you feel about this? Relax and be willing to accept the truth whatever it may be. If you leave the question open ended he has room to answer whichever way while knowing that you were simply considering what do with yours. If anything, it will clarify what this term means for each of you..
I am sorry to be negative here, but I dated a guy for three months that I met online…I noticed that his profile was still active and often he was checking it daily…I wanted to trust him so I did…I confronted him about it, but said that I trusted him and wanted him to take his profile down because he wanted to, not because I asked him to.
I found out he was dating multiple people yes, and sleeping with all of us , all from the online dating site. He was a world class liar. Looking back, I think if someone is active on an online dating site, while he is dating you, he is probably a player.
Wow how did you find out he was sleeping with multiple people?? Ahhhh and he wants exclusivity! I have a few bad experiences in the beginning of The comment before was about a guy I met in the latter part of I met this other guy while on blackpeoplemeet. Yet, there were many red flags!
Why is he still on dating sites
Meaning he would wait for my response to see what card he would pull out of his hat next….. After I invited him to my home and he seen how nice it was, the horns started to emerge from his head. Needless to say, I dropped him like a bad habit. The dating game has changed tremendously over the years and many have ulterior motives and love not being one of them!
Again, yes, sometimes people do get taken advantage of or hurt. But it is much worse to go through life with your guard up all the time, distrusting everyone, self-provective and bracing yourself. Personally, I have learned that it is better to assume people are good and do good things and not to be concerned until someone has actually done something bad. This is so true, I can honestly say that given this is a very hard task to do as well as keep up with.
When I met someone very special, I did that periodically for awhile just to see his picture or double checking some of his interests for date planning.
Sign up for our free newsletter and get a free chapter of our book,"He's Not That Complicated". The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by A New Mode, Inc.
Other Must-See Related Posts: Frequently Asked Questions Ask a Guy: How Do You Find Love? When a Guy Doesn't Text Back Is He The One? How To Know For Sure Leave Your Comment Now Heresjone I have noticed that if you get email notifications from Match just opening one of the emails logs you in and shows you have been online.
Mary I recently met someone on Match… We saw each othe twice and are planning to see each other again.. Sally I agree with Susan, I do not feel convinced about what Eric said! Eric Charles Hey there — I looked back at this article, which I wrote awhile ago, and I agree it missed some key points. Sabby Ive been thru this anf r currently going thru this. Lynn Is his name Jon? Sarasota is like player capital of the world. Chris Absolutely agree with this post. Confused girl I met my boyfriend on a dating site.
Linda Hi Eric, great article, and I found it because I am in a similar situation and really need your advice on how to go about it. Jane My story is I am over 45 and back into dating I was single for 3 years. Jacqui Kay In addition to answer from Just me: S Just recently went through this on another site.
Ingrid Hello, I read ur full story. Sally Thank you so much! Ella Why did you let him talk you into staying with him? Susan DeFrance I my name is susan like to call sue. Confused I wish I could find an article more recent in regards to this topic. Ella You know the answer already. Moops I disagree with the advice in this article. Kelly Totally agree Moops!
Look at your relationship objectively and if you see that you are still getting to know each other, it may not be so strange for your boyfriend to be on a dating site.
You have not talked about it Even if you and your partner share the same life goals and feelings for each other, do not assume that these are enough to decide in favor of an exclusive relationship.
And from there go on to explore whether you both are emotionally ready to embark into exclusive dating. The whole idea of a talk is simply to ensure that you both understand each other correctly, that you are on the same page as it were. And if you feel too embarrassed to bring up the matter, it only goes to show that you are not yet ready to for an exclusive relationship anyway. He wants to expand his options However if your boyfriend wants to alter the status of your relationship from exclusive to casual, it may signal a significant change of heart in him.
Perhaps he has met someone new or is having second thoughts about settling into a relationship with you. While all this may break your heart, try and be calm as your partner proposes seeing other people too. While it is alright to let him know that you are disappointed with the way he thinks, avoid throwing tantrums, dissolving into tears or begging for another chance. All this will not only rob you of your dignity and hence appear unattractive but also reveal a scary neediness on your part and your partner may even feel justified in detaching him from you.
So even as your partner puts forward his reasons why you both should continue to date other people, keep your cool and let him know that you will think about what he has said. If you ended the conversation on relatively friendly terms, refrain from making the first contact.