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Instead, thank her for an honest answer and let her know that you understand and accept her reply. Take the time to get to know her as a close friend before trying to progress to something more.
Letting her know that you genuinely care about her as a human and a friend will establish that trust. Ask her to spend time with you in a pressure-free setting. Once you reach a level of friendship that allows the two of you to hang out without being in a group, invite her to spend some time with you alone. If you want to be cautious, ask her to visit someplace familiar yet different, like a different coffee shop or a nearby park that you have both talked about wanting to visit.
If you want to be a little bolder, ask her to spend the afternoon or evening with you without revealing your plans. You can take her out for a nice meal, an interesting show, or a night of dancing. If she puts up a fuss about it, tell her that you want to pay for her since you were the one who asked her to come out with you.
Consider giving her a small, inexpensive gift. Flowers, chocolates, or stuffed animals are all fair game. Avoid expensive gifts like jewelry or designer clothes. Tell her seriously how you feel. After you have spent some time enjoying each other's company, sit down with her and tell her that you have something important to say. Once you have her undivided attention, tell her honestly that you have strong feelings for her and would like her to be your girlfriend.
Do not pressure, but at the same time, avoid blowing it off as no big deal. You must be genuine without being pushy. I can't help but have feelings for you past those of friendship, though.
If you feel the same way, or think you could see me as a boyfriend, then I'd like to go out with you. I just thought of something: I don't know how I'll manage without you. Accept her answer calmly. She may feel the same way, or she may not. Regardless of what she says, though, you need to respond to her answer in a calm, civilized manner. If she agrees to be your girlfriend, express how happy that makes you but do not get wild and shout or dance about. Don't pressure her into a relationship.
If she hesitates before giving you an answer, do not begin begging for her to agree. Let her know that this will not spell the end of your friendship. Who knows—as long as you don't burn any bridges, she may eventually come to like you later on.
Talk to her in person. You need to make sure that she knows who you are in person before you can drop her secret hints about your feelings. Make sure that the two of you get along fairly well before using this approach.
You can still be in the beginning stages of acquaintanceship or friendship, but when you converse, you should be able to do so while smiling and maintaining a comfortable atmosphere. The ideal situation is to begin your approach as soon as you realize your feelings for her. It works even better if you can time things out so that, as the two of you talk more and get to know each other better, she begins to suspect and even hope that you are the one responsible for the mysterious signs of affection.
These secret notes are a good way to inject a little mystery into the situation, and if the girl you have your eye on has a curious nature, this can also be a good way to pique her interest. Do not sign the note if you want to keep it a secret, though. Don't be afraid to be a little cheesy. It may not work quite as well in person, but for a note like this, a few cheesy lines can help keep things light.
Tips for How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend
You do not need to write an essay about your love for her, but it helps to talk about your feelings a little so that she actually knows that your note is the real deal. Of course, you probably don't know who I am yet, but still. You're a sweet girl. I admire your kindness and your wit, and I thought I should let you know that there's someone who really appreciates you. I watch you every day.
I've looked at all of your Facebook photos and tweets, and I know more about you than you can imagine. Last week, when you were on your way home after dark, I even followed you from a distance to make sure you got back safe, because I love you so much and would die if anything happened to you.
With great and sincere love, Your Secret Admirer. Consider attaching a small, cute gift.10 Signs Your Girlfriend Is TOO IMMATURE For You
If you end up sending the object of your affection several secret notes, you can get creative and attach a small gift to a few of them. Avoid gifts like CDs, movies, jewelry, or perfume. Watch for warning signs. Even if you take every precaution possible to avoid making her feel paranoid or on edge, there still remains some chance that the girl in question will feel uncomfortable with someone leaving her anonymous notes.
If you get the idea that she feels uncomfortable, stop immediately. If she suspects that you might be behind the notes and starts to ignore you or avoid you, you can take that as a sign that she feels uncomfortable about the situation.
If she does not suspect you and ends up confiding in you about the notes and about her uneasiness about the sender, confess that you were behind them and that you will stop now that you know how uncomfortable they made her feel.
The best mysteries are the ones that seem as though they could be solved. Even though this is supposed to be a secret, drop hints without directly stating who you are so that she has some idea of who to expect once you reveal your feelings.
You can drop hints through your notes and in person. To drop a hint in one of your notes, make a remark that only you and a few others might be able to make.
For instance, if only a few people know that the girl in question is obsessed with a certain band, write that you were listening to one of their songs or albums when you thought of her.
To drop a hint in person, flirt without directly stating your feelings. If your presence in her life increases as the notes continues, she will begin to think of you as a likely possibility. Don't let things drag on. Send her a few notes over the course of a few weeks before you let her know who you are. Secret admirers can be cute and fun at first, but they can get creepy if they drag on for months or years. Instead of randomly revealing your identity, make a show of it and give her the option of playing along.
As you reveal your identity, you should also state very clearly that you would like for her to be your girlfriend. Choose a public location on neutral ground, and make sure she knows where the location is at. Give her a heads up about your intentions by telling her, in the note, that you would like her to be your girlfriend.
I'll be waiting outside your house tomorrow morning for your answer. It sucks and is totally old school, but I have learned that lesson or have I? Seriously folks- grow a pair and just talk about it. If you're afraid of driving the other person away, then it's probably for the best if that person's response is "Hey, you're crowding me by wanting to talk about this.
I don't think guys fear commitment. It's an inevitability for most of us. Most of us can pretty much count on ending up in a committed relationship by the time we're old. What possible incentive do we have to be in one when we're young? Because some girl thinks she's made of gold and worth such a commitment? When you're ready to settle down it's fine to buy into that, but when you're young it's not hard to find another girl.
I don't think the problem is that guys in this town are schizo and afraid of commitment. Guys in this town simply have enough in the way of options that they can take their time when it comes to commitment. This may prove frustrating to some girls who have been raised to assume that whoever they have sex with OUGHT to commit to them on principle.
That works fine when a guy's choices are limited, but most guys with reasonable options have little incentive to commit, no matter how wonderful the girl might be. It's more complicated than guys are scizo, girls are psycho. It's OK to talk about it, yes, but it depends how long you've known each other and been dating to determine when this conversation is appropriate.
Sometimes coming on too strong is unattractive, for whatever reason. But then again, if you are VERY sure of your feelings, it's ok to have a conversation to the effect of "what do you think of this, and what are your feelings about it", rather than, "hey, are you my bf". I had an ex ask me if I was thinking of marrying her after we'd been together for several months.
Even though we were in a serious, committed relationship, this was WAY jumping the gun, and in retrospect was the beginning of the end. But if the title thing really, really matters to you, talk about it, with the knowledge that it should matter enough that if you have different perceptions about when this convo is appropriate, it could cause more harm than good.
Sorry, I didn't mean any harm. I have just never experienced in any of the cities I lived in what I have experienced here with men. I think NYC men are different than in other cities, maybe I shouldn't have used such strong language And as a woman there is no when in hell I would think that a guy I boned should be in a relationship with me, duh. Men here have the pick of the litter, there are so many beautiful, interesting, intelligent women here and so it's hard to pin 'em down.
Which is why I gave up! Drunk make out anyone? There are also guys who may not think they want a gf until they meet the right girl. There is no logic here - only chemistry, compatibility and timing.
When a guy feels he's reached the time in his life when he's ready to commit he will. Before that time he'll happily date girls and even end up in relationships with them. But he has absolutely no reason to be committed to any woman until he's reached the point in his life where that's the kind of relationship what he wants.
Rebecca - it is just as difficult, if not worse, from the flip side. The women in NYC have their pick of billionaire finance douches, rock stars, geniuses, me, etc, etc. I do think a year is a little extreme! For me, depending on how much we get to see each other, some form of 'the talk' usually happens after months. It can vary on the intensity; things can get very intense very fast and if you are both on the same page and know what you want - why not?
Well, I'm seriously and specifically looking Thanks Michelle, but I'm sure you yourself know it's really not about how cute we are, but finding someone with whom we're compatible and has what we're looking for.
Does Asking a Girl Out That Mean You Are Boyfriend & Girlfriend?
If he cleans up your vomit after a bad night I wouldn't say put him in a situation as see how he fares I don't know about that one This conversation is older than 2 months and has been closed to new posts.
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