God did not design it that way. He admits that his book does not dive deep into the problems of our world, like what did God design marriage to be? What does God think of sexuality?
I Kissed Dating Goodbye Quotes
What is the role of sex? How can someone find fulfillment as a single man or woman? We use purity as a synonym for virginity even though it is not. Virgins can be extremely unpure, and non-virgins can be very pure. We have turned purity into something legalistic. His book just tried to find the answer through a formula and by simplifying it down. But no one wants to read a book based on truth: You might never have sex.
You should live a life glorifying God above everything else. Joshua also came to realize and admit that he never addressed singleness beyond a small season of life. Some people are called to singleness, yet his book taught you how to get out of it. Today, as he heard from critics, the church looks down at single men and women as people who just want to be married and are not taken seriously into you are in a relationship.
We align with godly rules and align with religion before aligning with God himself. We try to control religion with rules and fear.Everything Wrong With “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” - The Scarlet Virgins Podcast
I think its premise is flawed. And I hope you will engage with people who have stories that are different than yours.
People who disagree with you. I hope you will take the time to listen to them. Listening to people has changed me. And I know that that is coming too late. But I never meant to harm you. And I hope that somehow me going back and evaluating all this and owning up to mistakes in my book will somehow help you on your journey. You can make mistakes. Looking at it anew, Joshua explains that the wedding should be a symbol of God bringing everyone to His table. Everyone has a seat at His table, no matter what mistakes and what failures you have.
God fixes and renews what is broken. There are no ghosts and no lingering regrets. We are fully redeemed men and women who find purity alone in Jesus. Growing up in a Christian school, attending youth group and church weekly, going to Christian camps, and always attending Christian conferences and events, I heard all the purity talks you could imagine.
It too was promoted to me as a bunch of rules to follow. My virginity was displayed to me as a badge of purity I had to keep to honor God. Sex was presented as a gift I had to earn.
All these were extremes the church formed and gave me a legalistic and judgmental mindset. After watching it through twice I felt called to share part of my story in this blog post. I truly believe we need leaders like this to see our own legalistic thinking. No one wants to think they are a modern-day Pharisee. It takes a lot for someone to see that within themselves.
After years of purity talks, I have also had to have years of messages similar to this documentary to break down some of those lies and replace them with the truth. Instead of still searching for a formula and black and white answers I will seek God in the gray area. Instead of believing that if I honor God now I will be blessed with a perfect relationship, I believe that I will honor God whether I get married or stay single forever.
And instead of believed that sex and marriage are my ultimate goal in life, I choose to believe that God is my ultimate fulfillment and find true satisfaction in Him alone. The book subtly elevated marriage as an ideal state and singleness as something unfortunate and undesirable—a temporary state God meant to resolve. They also spoke of purity as a binary state that depended entirely on virginity. Virgins were pure and those who had lost their virginity or had it stolen from them were impure.
And who would want to marry an impure person? The old enemy legalism—salvation or sanctification by manmade rules—was not far behind. In this case, courtship was elevated as the mark of godly people while dating was denounced as the mark of ungodly or apathetic people.
A specific form of relationship on which the Bible is silent became a defining characteristic of Christian obedience and maturity. I think I was just a little too old and just a little too far outside the evangelical mainstream to be significantly impacted by I Kissed Dating Goodbye. When it came out I was already deeply involved in a [dating] relationship with Aileen. But I do remember thinking this: Who on earth lets a twenty-one-year-old write the book on dating and courtship?
Who allows someone that young to be an authority on something so important? Though I always had problems with the book, I never had a beef with Josh. I had a beef with the masses of Christians who would blindly accept it and with the Christian celebrity machine that elevated someone so young to a position of such authority.
No, authority does not come through experience. But even Harris admits that he was a young man who believed far too much in his own abilities, just like every other twenty-one-year-old out there. We use this information to create a better experience for all users. Please review the types of cookies we use below. These cookies allow you to explore OverDrive services and use our core features. Without these cookies, we can't provide services to you. These cookies allow us to monitor OverDrive's performance and reliability.
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