You can read all the other dating in Sweden posts here: These are just my opinions along with general opinions of other ladies and gents who posted comments. But readers, feel free to add in your own as I am now an oldie on the dating married market. Sweden contains a lot of Swedish men but they can be rather hard to find and keep. Online dating through Match or Spray is very popular. I also recommend Online Dejting in swedish to read dating reviews.
I felt that now is a good time to join, and I have enjoyed reading the many entries! After reading this, I definitely agreed with you. Later on, though, he gave the look. I picked up all the cues I read from here! He is very fashionably dressed just like his Swedish friends , is very shy, an avid texter, wears tight jeans but look so good!
They do open up a lot once you get to know them, and they love IKEA to death. Once you nab a Swede, I will say they do make great boyfriends — very affectionate!
They do tend to go after foreign girls as well apparently: Thought we met first in September but actually he attended my session in May- I had no impression of him at that time, though. He keeps around our organization and helping out with meetings and trainings without being a member. Got drunk twice and danced together. But both of us have been sober at the top of our minds so nothing actually happend. It turned out ok but seems that he was not that talkative during that dinner.
I am an Asian girl and never in my life have I made the first move. All my friends know that I am crazy about this person but at the same time no one thinks I am sending enough hints and no clues from his side also. I need the courage.
Well strategy is even better. Just cannot read him and not so sure how to tell him without being too awkward. This is one of my biggest chanllenges in life…. I just read the blogs. It is interesting with more information from individuals heart. I like the way the people expressed their feelings. I am Raj, i am in stockholm for past 2 months. I am asian, i am working as a software engineer.
I like to make new friends especially in stockholm who can move with me in understanding each other. They value honesty and open persons. Additionally, his age does matter. I think the proper age is around But it depends on what you want from him: Say if he agreed for fika and what you said to him.
I had fika with him on his birthday. I made some sushi by myself. I knew I have no courage to say anything when I am facing him, so I wrote him a small note. But I did not even dare to give it to him anyway, just gave him the sushi box in the cafe. Nice fika time only. Well after I told my friends I did not even give him the note they encouraged me to send him a letter. So I wrote a short letter yesterday, and maybe I will post it today if I have enough courage…Sounds too old-fashioned and outdated, right?
The gay scene is pretty big in parts of Sweden. Swedens news in English. IF…you were being serious that is. Irina Personally I do not think that it is old-fashioned or outdated to send a romantic letter to the person that makes your heart flutter…it is really a beautiful and endearing gesture. Now as this pertains to you- I once wrote a letter to someone I felt strongly about and professed my enduring love and infatuation.
That last part was a bit of an exaggeration: I did tell them how I felt- just not all campy and sappy and stuff. Anyway, I thought I knew them fairly well, we were friends, they were older than 30 years of age, lots of flirts and hints and stuff. I say enjoy the friendship.
See if you can get a mutual friend to feel him out for a hint of how he feels about you. I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope you get your man. Agree with Ana, enjoy friendship! So good luck to you. Additionally, i have a question to those who are already in relationship with Swedes.
How can you describe it? I just think that not only dating culture is slow, r-ship development is veeeery slow as well: Not all Swedish guys are gorgeous underwear models. I think of him as my boyfriend. My religion is very important and wish I could meet some Christians. I visited a church in Stockholm but most of the people where immigrants themselves.
I have a few simple questions tho, specific. We have "hung out" a few times because he lives in the same house as my friend from home. Or i am at least interested enough to want to pursue something. Hence why i am on this blog. How would a Swedish male interpret that? How would I know if he considered that as me asking him out on a date or just me asking him as a friend, to hang out with me. I am an American male and have lived in SE since I have still never really learned swedish as my english has always worked well if not too my advantage in biz and other communication.
I have given up any interest in learning the language as there are not enough words too truly express myself in ways that I am and like too do. Swedish is not on the list but soon Mandarin will be the foreign language taught too SE kids and China will speak the most english,and most proper english in the world.
I read many a lot of the posts here- SE is one of the most introverted places I have ever been. I have never been so verbally attacked for opening a door, helping with a coat, giving up a seat, or any other gentleman like gestures in all my life. This seems to be backfiring for women in SE. They are single and insecure over being single , yet so overly independent that they tend to live alone and feel alone. The men seem to fuel this by being very cold, short, and rude to women and yet as alone and sad as the women to be alone too.
I have never heard women called whores as a put down or common saying in the US. Yet I hear it all the time in domestic disputes downtown or at parties and see it really damage girls self-esteem and further deep rooted feelings of insecurity. Or… if I had a hundred dollars for every SE women that defended the SE guy that I pounded after being called a whore and worse….
Alcohol is so completely and sadly abused and controlled here in the vodka-belt. I am sad too see that most swedes do not talk enough at all about anything important to them till it builds up and explodes outward.
About the disease of addiction or their true feelings of anger, jealousy, regret, apology, and love. A good example of the introversion here….
Like the SE engaged folks…. If a guy gets engaged too one of my sisters and does not marry them in 2years… we will have a guy to guy talk about this. I admit that we in the USA may over-use?? But I would rather the word be used too much than not at all… This is my first blog… I have ever read! I am now even more glad that I surf in the oceans and not on the net. His SE mother was so bad at sharing her feelings, dealing with communicating, and using alcohol to blur reality that I am a happy single daddy and have only 8 more years here.
I am looking forward too leaving sweden for good and never really missing anything at all… Aloha nui loa Sverige. Almost 2 years ago I spent 6 months in Sweden as an exchange student in the university, one guy gave me the look, and after sometime I realized that he has some interest in me, some friends here told me to make the first move and I did.
We dated for some time but then I went back home. I ask him if he wanted to continue with the relation, but he told me that we should better be friends, we have been in touch during all this time. Why waste a year of your life Jess? P Thanks for the advice Dano: I persoanlly have seen hot blonde swedish girls with blacks, east asians, arabs.. Because they are stupid? I love my Swedish man, he can provide for me if needed and is very loving, educated and we have been happily married for almost 5 years now.
He respects me and my culture which is more than most of those men you list generally does. Heh, I would just ask him if he wanted to become serious. They can be a bit shy about stuff like that. Princess — i live in london, scandinavian kitchen and garlic and shots r where the geeky ones hang out ;. It might not even be a dating period since you see each other so little, chat only through sparse SMSs, and you feel like you have to take initiative.
So you can try, ask to see him more often and see how he responds. It really did feel as if we were just seeing each other when we had time and we both had completely separate lives, but now I realize things change when I also actually put in some work and not rely only on him to take the initiative. I dated a swedish guy for 6 months and it was good. He is really nice and good looking and he took good care and was even surprising me. Never push him too hard!!!!
He is good looking but almost years older than me and having children from an early relationship. Is it like taboo to date an employer or is he afraid to date a girl from a different race while he is the big boss? Thanks genie but this would simply means the end of it all because we live in two different cities and we see each other just at the workplace.
I forgot to say that 3 couples have met each other at our company and they are now married and one of those couples is a mixture of a swedish man and a foreign woman. In Sweden there are no rules girls! I think we can not that easily copy-paste our experinces which we have gathered from other countries and use them here. Every person is so unique and swedish people respect you most if you are not pretending to be something else than what you really are. But at the same time they are not so tolerant and would not change there own way of living and thinking..
There is no mysterious about them,they are just too cold to show emotions and a little bit slow. If you can manage those both you might have luck with a swedy. I was searching for a translator while writing an email for a swede friend when I found this gem — have been having such a good time reading all your comments and a lot of them ring so very true: Thanks for all the great contributions: Oh I do love this post!!!
You seem to be an adventurous woman who knows herself well! I do have a question. On that same note, it seems to me that swedish culture is the polar opposite of southern US culture. We hug everyone, even people we just met, and the intent of any outing is clearly defined.
As far as the behavior and preferences of swedish men, I now have a better understanding of why I am inexorably trailed by them! I suppose a woman who is made happy by pleasing her man is very attractive in any culture! Now I know that I have to leave my swede alone and not pushing him.
I was wondering if he is really interested at all, as we exchange just a few words from time to time, and I have already told him that I love him, but he seemed not to be too responsive even when he gives me some hints from time to time. Thanks for all your blog, and especially this post, now I know what I am doing wrong. I love his sense of humor, his sweetness, and his adorable looks. I could see myself dating this guy and perhaps even getting serious. I do have a question: Is it a big fad over there?
Love your blog and all the stories. Sex is awesome, he is very kinky. Normally we only text each other, and I try not to text him too often.
When we are both in town, we try to spend more time tougher. We spend lots of time at his or my place. He is a typical guy. Love watching TV, food, and sex. And he always pays wherever we go, holds my hands when we go out or watch movies.
I really like him, and I believe he likes me too. Should I do something? Or should I just forget him? Oh my gosh you need to DO something!! It may be more casual to him, but you really need to find out for sure because it may bug you if you never asked before he went back to Sweden!
Everyone has bad experiences in relationships. If I called this article the A to Z guide to Dating Men, women would be writing their hearts out about broken love. Some scandinavian men maybe douchebags, but most are quite nice. The catch is, they are from a different culture and it can be very difficult to understand what they mean. That was 2 weeks ago. I can tell he would not make physical advances towards me unless I initiate, and he was firm to not hold hands or hug if that makes me uncomfortable… I surprised myself too when I decided to kiss him on our second date, despite knowing myself as the conservative woman who needs more time than usual to trust a man.
I guess I feel safety in his honesty and respect for me, and I have a feeling he will make me happy. During our second date, I also noticed he wasted food like egg yolks all 5 of them, because he did a meringue for dessert and about half of the rice left over in the pot he threw it away before my eyes.
I told him on the way home and related it to my culture and upbringing, that every grain of rice is impt and that food like yolks can be saved for good use. We text each other every days… he sends the longest messages I have ever gotten from a guy, like regular smses long, to tell me how his day went, what he did, answer qns from my last text and ask how my day went.
I have never met a man more compatible and gentle with me… Maybe the big difference was from the very first compliment he paid me: I thought that was the strangest statement to make to a lady on first impression, but in retrospect it was the best compliment: That statement was very Swedish of him, but I only realized it in retrospect!
I was holding my bags with my arm, but they slowly slipped from my arm. When we broke from our kiss, he had actually caught the bag that slipped and handed it to me.
I knew I should have asked him for his number…. I met a huge group of Swedes that are on exchange in my city a couple of times. It got me noticed by some of the guys, but the one I talked to the most actually didn't notice the shirt until I pointed it out to him. We ended up sitting together on the bus between bars and talking for a long time about school and life, I told him I was going to Swedish House Mafia in London in the summer and he said he was going too.
Then when I told him I'd been to Sweden the summer before he told me I should visit again after the show. We really hit it off, I love Swedish culture and hockey so I was showing him these signs I had done up for a hockey game on my phone and he got all excited because my background is two Swedish hockey players, haha: Anyway, I added him on Facebook after by finding his name on the pubcrawl event we'd both attended.
Waited a week, decided to message him. He answered almost immediately and for the record, he included another winky face in his reply! He hasn't answered all weekend, which is understandable because not everyone goes on FB everyday, but it's frustrating waiting.
I just want to ask him out! The thing is he was also hanging out with other girls the night of the pubcrawl…so I can't tell if he's interested.
We did have really nice chats that night though. He told me his exchange is over in a month and a half and so I want to show him some typical Canadian things before he leaves. I would ask for his number since texting would be way easier, but I'm not even sure he uses his phone here as I didn't see him on it once on Halloween. Having loved and dated only one Swedish man, it would be overstating things to conclude that Swedish men are the best.
I am familiar with the often touted differences between American men versus Swedish men and am happy to trade in the American arrogance for the Swedish stoicism. So dating a Swedish man has been perfect for me in part because of my need for independence, my reserved personality, and the importance I place on gender equality and self-sufficiency.
Started dating someone else now, also a Northern Swede. I really like how honest, sincere and sweet they are, across all the Swedish guys I know I dun think it matters which part of Sweden they come from. Down to earth, sensitive and respectful. They also generally know how to keep themselves, cook, clean and so on… i find their autonomy wonderful: Everyone is looking for the same things, someone to love and be loved in return… maybe the players just need more time to find someone!
He finally went back to Sweden, and I went visit him there two weeks ago. Hey Chantal, Thanks for keeping us updated! I definitely remembered reading your previous post.
But, really, hmmm maybe you could just shoot him an email explaining how you feel, and then the ball will be on his court. Swedish guys are no better or worse than other guys when it comes to relationships. I do hear people from other countries tell stores that men dont help out with house chores like taking out trash of doing the dishes, which I personally feel might be lies.
I mean rofl who wouldt want a nice home lol just doest make any sense. I do find it hard to beleive it is really that bad. I know some guys are lazy bastards but well as a woman you can always let the sleep on the couch untill they learn ;.
Anyway, swedish guys should be treated with exactly every other logical rule there is. Deny the bastard sex untill he has proven he is actually serious about a relationship, I mean if he really wants you that should not be too hard for him right. Just set the requirement for him straight up and if he bitches and whines well then he is obviously not worth your time.
I am pretty sure he knows how I feel about him. He acts like he is only 18 yo sometimes sigh…: Maybe a better suited guy will come this year! Plus, i have white skin and brown eyes. Im really interested in scandinavian culture and i know that swedish guys like brown hair and brown eyes. But now im afraid that i can be seemed so ordinary or boring for them. Im not sure what to do, should i make it brown again.
Hi, I also have a question about Swedish guys, I met one, and after couple of months we had sex. Now I am wondering who should make the first move to text each other? Since in my home country its always guys who do so.. Christina — Was this an one night stand thing or something more? If you really do want to see him again, then you should make the first move. Now, admittedly, I may very well be posting this in the wrong forum. But I seem to be embroiled in a rather interesting quagmire, of which I am desperate to find some understanding.
So, perhaps there is someone here who is willIng to help disentangle me from my ignorance, clarifying some things for me along the way. Recently, I have met a rather beautiful Swedish lady, even one that is currently taking acting classes with me. As time has elapsed, we seem to have develop an unspoken understanding between each other, eventually becoming scene partners. As we have begun to discuss scenes to work on together, I have started to share some personal things about myself with her, merely to break the ice; and naturally, she seems to have followed suit, revealing some deeply personal things to me as well.
From this moment onward, a genuine friendship between she and I has developed, even one which possesses a deep mutual respect for one another intellectually, emtionally, spiritually and artistically.
In fact, we pretty much share the same egalitarian ideas as each other about essentially everything that she and I have discussed so far. Now, as an American, even one who has been LONGING to meet a woman like this, it is expedient to mention that I have never encountered a woman like this before, even a lady who understands me, personally, on so many levels; and I will be remiss if I fail to mention that she has both felt and told me the same things about me respectively, noting that she has never opened up to anyone — male or female — like this before.
Now, naturally, a MUTUAL romantic attraction has begun to develop between she and I, especially considering that we are already attracted to one another on so many levels, including physically. So, I have decided to inquire into whether she has a boyfriend or lover; and she has been quick to reassure me that she has neither.
However, she does mention that about 3 months ago, she has met a guy back home in Sweden who she has been talking to, with whom she has met only 6 times.
Also, she states that they write like once a week. She has been in America for 6 weeks now. So, naturally, I delve deeper into the significance of this person, merely out of sincere respect for the all boundaries of the parties invloved.
As a result, she has mentioned that she does NOT love him but that she has been physical? In spending time with her, I eventually end up simply kissing her, an act which, according to her, she has enjoyed very much; however, the next day afterwards, she has texted me that she has only wanted to be friends!!!
But She seems to frequently question whether I drink alcohol recreationally, even though she knows I do not. Also, notably, she has shared NONE of these personal stories about herself, including her fears, with this same guy. Nevertheless, I begin to respectfully distance myself from her.
However, distancing myself respectfully from her has only drawn her closer to me! Now, in all humility, I am a very confident, vulnerable individual, even one who practices honest self-critique and who welcomes scruitny. So, I like to think that I have at least a little insight into the human condition. Please forgive me for being convesationally obtuse in my wordiness; but sometimes I think that it is better for one to be verbosely clear than to be pithily unclear. The woman was, for a time, uncertain about whether to pursue things romantically with you, or to continue things with the man she had been seeing in Sweden.
Being an essentially monogamous person, she thus decided to make it clear to you that she wants to remain as friends only having interpreted the kiss romantically, for obvious reasons , so as to avoid hurting you in the future.
The sad reality is that these expectations run counter to the natural desire to express oneself emotionally and thus making oneself vulnerable before someone you are romantically interested in, which has the side-effect of causing many Swedish women a great amount of self-esteem and insecurity issues.
While my reply has, by necessity, been rather vague, I hope it has gone some way in helping you come to grips with your situation. Thank-you for wading through my verbosity. I feel obligated to better clarify this scenario to you; so, perhaps further information on this topic will help elucidate this matter. I have met this woman literally a month ago today; and it has only been about two weeks ago that we have kissed. Prior to this, we have just been scene partners who have obviously respected and like one another.
Previous to our initial meeting, even three months ago, this Swedish Lady has met this Swedish guy back home in Sweden. They have begun to talk to one another back then, even before she has moved to the US. After she has left Sweden, she has bern unsure as to where they have both stood in terms of their relationship. So, it has been under these same conditions that I have met her. Now even before we have kissed, we have grown very close VERY fast. In fact, this same closeness, in part, is that which has lead up to us kissing.
She said that because she could see us getting together so fast, she got scared. I was just trying to get to know her better as a friend. As an observation, I have noted carefully that what she has told me regarding this fellow. Apparently, this guy with whom she in a relationship is speaking to is shy.
Does she make such considerations with ALL of her male friends? The mere fact the she has even considered me in such a manner demonstrates that is not true that she has not viewed me romantically.
But experience, has taught me that actions speak louder than words. Indeed, She comes from a very abusive upbringing. One of her older siblings has been extremely abusive to her, she is very manipulative of her to this day. Ironically, she has had to care for her own family for a LONG time, including her manipulative sister. So, It has been under these conditions that she has met this guy. So, it has been under these conditions that she has met myself. Althought tempted to cut off my ties now, even to protect myself, I feel strongly that I ought to be patient and to take a step back, that she may figure things out for herself.
As you have observed, there is a marked contrast between her words and her actions; most likely, she would wish herself able to simply turn her emotions on or off with the flick of a switch as she attempted to do when deciding that there was to be nothing romantic between the two of you, despite the kiss and everything else , however she finds herself unable to do so, which causes her a lot of consternation and self-doubt.
In the best case scenario, she will decide that her feelings for you outweigh whatever obligations she may have toward the man in Sweden, and she will sever or attempt to sever, depending on her emotional anchorage romantic ties with him. Either way, it would probably be a bad idea to try and push things forward before she has had a chance to work out her own feelings. I am sorely amazed by your level of insight regarding these matters; because, intuitively, not only do I understand that your comments are apropos, but that, intllectually, I have come to understand their truthfulness as well, even through my own invesitigation, of which our exchange is.
She added that, otherwise, she actually agreed with everything that I had been reasoning or saying, which nearly caused me to swoon or pass out. At first, I was confused as to why she immediately interpreted my comment in such a light; but then I considered her experieces, upbringing etc.
This felt awkward to her. But it meeting me, it became confusing to her, because now she was romantically attracted to more than one man even one within a considerably less time frame. Hi there im a Swedis male 28 and im also one of thoose who stumbled upon this site , but then i started reading and i might bring some light to the text messaging situation , As swedish men are quite shy in the beggining its easier to ask stuff without having to expose urself to much.
And i also think its a generation thing though kids here all have there phones switched on in class but having sound on mute and from there we have just turned into a texting nation. Another thing is that if you text someone you can ask things in a longer period of time with brakes inbetween so you get the time to think about what you really are asking,saying,writing instead of calling someone just to find out at the end of the call that you wanted to ask this and that aswell and i cant really be calling a girl all day long with small questions and awkward silence moments.
And another thing is wich generation swede ur dating i think. And i read something up here about meeting people in church in sweden …. Outwards we might seem like a religious country but we really aint! Bloody well written, good sirs!
Actually, the whole comment thread, and the one for Dating in Sweden, completely captivated me. I live in NYC and have no idea on how to find them Two: Well, discounting the racists, of course. The NYC thing might be a bit more of a problem, though; Swedish men do not travel abroad nearly as much as the Swedish women, and the ones that do are often but certainly not always!
If you do not intend to trust to luck alone, your best bet would probably be to search the Swedes out for yourself, whether online or by travelling to Sweden. Thank you for advice. I did realize most of what you are saying. But my next question is: Where do I find them online?
The battle is lost. Yes, I see it now. The big city girl escaping the stress for the golden fields admidst the rolling hills, over which she dances under a blue sky; pausing, ever briefly, to drink from a clear stream as the sun touches her lips — smiling, as she thinks of her tall, muscular man cleaning the house and having dinner ready.
Might be my longest sentense ever. Also my most nonsensical one! Actually, these restaurants might be frequented by the occasional hopefully non-frivolous Swede living in New York: If Swedish men actually knew that there existed American girls with a taste in them, they might have visited the place more often: As for places online… Pretty much all places where Swedes gather online, they speak… Swedish: And, well, some of us apperently are reading bloggs such as these.
I agree with Herr Heidar on the looks thingy. And us Swedes might dissapoint you if you hold us in too high regard ; Good luck, anyhow! Most are men and older And look into the exchange at your college.
Perhaps you can study in Norway or Sweden for a year. I have an update you guys!!!!! I think I may have met the Swede of my dreams!!!!!!
This forum has got to be good luck!!!! Essentially what Heidar said: Likely rather rare though. Also, Asians are quite common, weather adopted or immigrants, though it can vary somewhat from place to place. Anyhow, once people get to know you somewhat, most of them should probably consider you European more than anything.
And as time passes, increasingly Swedish. Google translate gives you this, though: Thankyou Guys an I have Another Update! It seems that we have stumbled into the Stereotypical Swedish man wall. He has become very shy an distant. Even after knowing this was probably going to happen i am still pissed off! This blog is so accurate but I have no patience. He I said he loved it which is wonderful to see me and desires me i know i know this sucks but how much of this I can believe?
He worth the effort Or just? Rosie — Not swallow your pride, think of dating from a different angle. But keep an open mind.
D Feeling so strange posting in such a blog btw , never done it before.. Rock your Lakota self, girl! I am also often attracted to European men as well. Perhaps it is because they actually like to go out and do things, thus not becoming neanderthals and glued to the television, screaming at it, while I could be trapped under a car…ready to explode! O Also, they know why they have feet, and how to use them.
I know it is difficult for some Americans, as we would drive less than half a mile to the nearest convenience store to get eggs. However, I love nature trails and walking around the beach and parks, and large cities. American men I dated in the past just seemed to bore the hell out of me and could not even begin to appreciate literature. I think when I took one to a bookstore, he immediately went to the magazine section, most likely putting a hex on me, with daggers in his eyes.
I know that men, essentially are men, but why do American men bore me? He sometimes comes on here, every once in awhile. He will give you good advice. Ask him about his culinary skills lol. Not that he is a walking, Magic 8 ball, but he probably is! It seems there are a few more Swedes on here now, helping answer questions. Thanks for the info guys. It seems like many women on here have turned Swedish men into aliens, Maybe they are aliens. However, apparently aliens intrigue lots of women it seems.
Bjorn is a zombie and actually likes your brains. I hope it all goes well with your lady. Hello, I have been reading through about a half of your stories and opinions and find this blog really cool! I want to share my story too. I come from central Europe.
We had several classes together and I got really interested in him as he had an amazing personality, as all swedish boys. But he was really popular and I was new and shy.
It continued like this for 3 months. We sometimes exchanged look during lessons but that was all. Now the interesting part will come. At one school party I grasped all my courage when I saw him kissing with another girl, also I was a bit drunk and was psychically getting ready to initiate a conversation with him weeks in advance.
So I came to him, took his arm and said: You look at me during our english classes. Do you want to dance? He wrote me on facebook on the following day: Saying hi hottie asking for my phone number. I am writing intenionally the name he called me because I will ask you later about it..
And then we started dating. We met only in the evenings. I either came to his appartement or he to mine. Already on the first date we started kissing. It was very weird for me. We spoke and then after ten minutes he said: And we were kissing for incredible 3 hours. Lying at each other. So I though he only wanted sex. And then we spoke a little and I told him that I thought he only wanted sex and he replied: No, I am virgin. And then I walked through the corridor to take my coat and as I was walking my back towards him he said: I only turned my head and said: Now, it really seems you want something.
And he said no, I meant.. This is the most important part of my story. We were meeting for three months, in the evenings, watching movies, kissing and eventually he had his first sex.
I got invited to prom. Afterwards everything screwed up I had to leave all at sudden. He accepted it and we wrote when I came back home few times in the summer. Again, mostly about sexual things. Now it is nearly one year, another summer is comming and he wrote me that he would like to see me. Anyways, now question for you. I am still wondering why did he text me? I want to make him feel comfortable to write me whenever he wants and asking would be like reproaching.
But how do you feel about him. Take into consideration that he is not typical Swedish, he has some american features which he collected there during several years that he is living there. Secondly, he said that he would pay a hotel for my visit. Can I write him first? I would definitelly send it into messages not forcing any conversation or should I wait until he writes?
Also he said we could go to club. He was never drunk in front of me. And it seemed to me he wanted just sex so I asked if he would show me his hometown and he replied: Sure, let me check with my friends and familly. Those are according to me the most important information you should know to discover him. Does he want me to come? Or is it only sexual object that he sees in me? Why did he write me after so long without anything in between. I find it so hard to discover his mentality, it is like a big puzzle: D Have a good day and comment;.
First off i have to admit, we really are the the shy kinda peeps, really. Wow — you are spot on with your A to Z guide. I am coming up on my 7th wedding anniversary to my Swede. So we can persuade a few of them to take that walk down the aisle ; We, in fact got married twice once legal the 2nd regal if you catch my drift.
We had a beach wedding in California and a church wedding at the Cathedral in Visby. I did not have a blog as a resource guide or know too many Swedes at a personal level when we were dating. Our courtship was amazing — no games, no gimmicks just a breath of fresh air. He still claims that I kissed him first, there was a lot of wine involved that first meeting so it is still up in the air. My Swede is a Swede, even though during courtship he must have really dug me, and Googled what American women want, because after 8 years together — he did things I have never seen him do since.
He took me to movies and dinners all the time and paid! He hates going to the movies He bought me diamond earrings when we moved in together after only 4 months of dating.
I remember when he bought my engagement ring he kept talking about how crazy big it was and how expensive and that Swedes do not do this! All these things became clearer as I learned more and more about my husband and where he comes from. My husband is an amazing man, provider, father, and partner. When I read some of these blogs it reminded me of where we started and how a relationship develops over time. Although, they seem distant,unemotional and sometimes the epitome of the strong silent type — there is usually a large heart underneath that needs to be nurtured.
So advice from someone married twice to the same Swede: Swedish men are full of depth and character. They have many more layers than your average American man.
They are observers, they think before speaking and sometimes it seems uncomfortably long. They are usually pretty soulful once you get them to open up and express themselves. If you reach those levels feel grateful because most likely you are the only person they have shown this side to. Well on that note, I want to go and give my hubbie a big kiss and perhaps a little more: Last weekend all roomies went out to party and the swedish guy flirted with a girl all night.
This was the first night i felt jealous so i left the disco alone. The next day the swedish guy and i went to have dinner together and have some beers in a non-romantic way.
We had dined before but this time we drunk too much beer. So we ended up kissing like mad people. But i want more things to happen.. This blog is terrific. I am grateful for all comments. It really helps me understand this guy better. I live in SE-Asia, men here behave differently than in their home countries I could fill a blog with that.
I met a swedish guy through a mutual friend at a club three weeks ago. He was trying to engage me into conversation non-stop. I liked him and realized how interesting and witty he was. Both of us got tipsy, not drunk and we kissed. He was very sweet and kind, we ended up at his place and he asked me for my number the next morning.
He texted in the evening saying it was a pleasure to have met me. I was happy but not head over heels, having lived here for a while makes you keep your feet on the ground. There are only few guys who are worth dating a second time. We met the next day for dinner, I have no idea what was happening to me but I got so nervous I talked way too much.
I am south-european, I tend to be emotional and sometimes too direct. I think that might have thrown him off his guard. We went to his place, had more wine, more conversation and ended up together again.
I should mention that it was me who made the first move, I kissed him. He was very sweet, the entire eve. I was nervous the next day, not being myself again for whatever reason. Asked him when we would see each other again. Texting seems to be big in Sweden. He texted that same night asking how it went and congratulated me.
This is one week ago. We texted to and back and I asked him what his week would look like. I picked up all courage and told him to let me know if he fancied a drink some time. He replied in a nice way saying let me get back to you reg this drink. But now after having read this blog I am wondering whether he still is, and is simply too shy.
He is not a particularly shy guy though.. Shall I text him or rather wait until he gets back to me as he said? Or is he simply not interested? If I text him, what shall I say? Having already suggested to go for drinks and gotten neutral feedback? Thanks so much everyone! Just wanted to pop in here and say that I read every single post… and loved them all.
This cleared up a lot of questions I had, and I appreciate it. BUT…I understand a little bit about the commitment-before-relationship thing, since I will wait for my chance to try to get his attention. Does this make sense? Yes, gentlemanly gestures are nice, but at the same time, they should be given, not expected, and they should be gifts, not rewards or bribes. Just as a woman should act like a lady, thank him for anything he does or gives, so too should the man be respectful and helpful.
When I first read your comment, I thought maybe this guy likes you but is too shy. When I read it, ie. This week is crazy with Euro match Sweden is out though and Midsommar means he maybe busy.
I would let it be and if he texts you, just send shorter though not curt messages back. Give him a week to respond to the drinks request and then follow up on it.
Amber — Some guys are concerned with age differences and some not. It really depends on the culture and the type of friends you have. But hell, people do have strong stereotypes about age so who knows. I think men worry less about what others think of their relationship than women. Women do seek pack approval and will want her girlfriends to bless her new boyfriend. As for how to proceed, I offer the same advice as I did Fumanskita: Swedish women most of them, not all of them! This is the main but not only reason that Swedish men often appear wishy-washy and standoff-ish.
Tell them, to their face, how you feel and why. At some point, you do want to see that person again. In fact we did text again but it was pretty much the same as before. I keep you updated in case it turns out differently, but for now it seems, the greek guy is rather on the right track: After 8 years in the US, the last 3 in paradise in San Diego with 2 small children now, my husband is seriously toying with the idea of returning to Stockholm.
It has always been in the deck of cards, but I thought it would be further down the road not next year. I have been to Stockholm 4 times and it is a beautiful city and but I am in love with San Diego. I love the hills and the pacific ocean. I, of course love my husband more than San Diego, so I am open to the move. I am completely dreading the long winters, I spent 3 years in Boston and it forced me to Queensland, Australia to make up for the lost sunshine. So this has nothing to do with dating a Swede but living a life with one and him wanting to go home.
So any advice for a SoCal girl and how to approach a move to Stockholm??? I have a question about a Swedish guy I started chatting with. I met him on a mutual web site we are on. He will be visiting New York City in mid August, and staying with a friend down there for a few days.
The plan was that we would visit with me and hang out in upstate NY for a few days as well before he returns back to Sweden. He suggested I freind him on Facebook which I did and notice that when I am on he always initiates chat with me. I find him very physically attractive as well as refreshing with his upbeat attitude. I have flirted with him a bit and one particular conversation became ver sexual in nature. He asked if I was attracted to him and I told him I was. I asked as well and said he found me attractive too.
He said that when we see each other in person and if there is a mutual attraction on that physical interaction level to relax and go with it, implying we could have sex if that was what we wanted. Not until he mentioned it did I really consider it and actually want it…. He is in a band and just last night he was up again super late recording trying to finish a piece with his band members..
So bc of his limited access to the Internet I suggested we talk internationally. He said he would and suggested I download tango which I did. We then talked for about 1hour together. He is really sweet, funny and again very handsome.
Not bc i wouldnt want it but rather if that is the right kind of thing to do with a foreign man that is just visitng maybe he will think american woman are easy to get into bed, where i dont go to sleep with any man i am actually very selective I already know how I feel just from the face time call we had. He asked me a lot of questions and generally seems to be interested in knowing about me. He was smiling a lot a d making jokes. I look at him like as if he was an American man that was interested in a woman.
We never really tried to impress each other but it just all fell into place. Hey I'm sure there will be another Swede for you who appreciates you for who you are.
They are very honest, sweet and genuine not to mention, very attractive! Chicks who like gaming are the best!
Have you tried asking him why he is acting that way? Or let him know how you feel about things? Was the relationship mostly based on attraction? I think these could all relate to how he's acting. Gamer chicks do rule! Glad to know I'm on good company I have asked him and he told me rather abruptly not to read into things so much. He knows how I feel about him yet doesn't seem to care at all.
The relationship was all attraction and at one point he was truly infatuated with me. Now he just seems bored when I want to talk to him. We are the same age with him being slightly younger so maybe age is a factor since I'm still young, but also very mature for my age. Ah, as I suspected. I'm sorry to say that when it's heavily based on attraction that judgement can easily be clouded.
I may be a bit jaded because I've had guys come and go, and then ending up preferring my own company, but looks are no longer at the top of my list anymore.
Of course looks still matter, but when you finally stumble across someone who is the whole package, you'll wonder why you were ever so hung up about this guy!
We did have an immense amount of attraction purely based on talking before we even saw what the other looked like. It became a bonus of sorts that we were both really attractive to the other, but then it only became about that. He kept telling me that I was perfect for him in every way and that he couldn't tell certain things to other people like he could with me. There were no boundaries about what we talked about and it was refreshing. I really did think he was "The One", but now his lack of interest in me anymore has started to turn me off from him.
Not to sound conceited, but I like it when a man wants me and tells me that I'm beautiful. It at least lets me know where I stand with him. Perhaps he had been waiting for you to make a move? It's hard to say how I have been so successful with my Swedish man, because falling in love with him has been the easiest thing. We still talk everyday, even if it is just to catch up on how our day was and to say goodnight. My flight to Sweden is on Saturday and he's booked us a hotel in Stockholm so we can explore the city for the weekend.
The previous guy who I almost fell in love with a New Zealander told me often how beautiful I was and we had a lot in common music-wise, but also quickly started to ignore me after a few months and I'm really glad that ended because this current guy is actually the best thing ever to happen to me.
Well whether you still want it to work out with him or move on, I wish you the best of luck! Your love story sounds like magic and I'm happy for you. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time in Sweden with your guy.
Will you be moving there permanently soon and is this visit the first time you'll be meeting him in person? Let me know how it goes: Yes, this will be our first time meeting in person and we've discussed long term options but for now I can only make a brief visit up to 90 days visa-free.
My initial plan was to get a 1 year working holiday visa first, but it's taken them so long to process the visas I can't wait any longer! I'm really excited, not only to meet him but to learn a new culture and language and, as a chef, Scandinavian cuisine will be fascinating to me!
I heard the cuisine is very unique and because I was smitten with my guy I made the effort to learn the Swedish language as well which is a pretty difficult language to learn. Now it seems all for nothing I hope you do get your visas sorted out and have a great time finally meeting your dream guy and getting to spend quality time with him.
So this is my fourth day here in Sweden now and it's been great! My man is so lovely and I'm very happy to be here: I just wished I didn't have to leave.
You're so very lucky. I'd do anything to be in Sweden right now. I'm glad everything worked out for you. Just an update on my situation, I finally got my working holiday visa after waiting 8 months, and I've been living in Sweden since Feb this year.
So a word of warning to anyone wanting to do the same thing as me, plan ahead! Sweden is lovely if you like being close to nature and don't mind a relaxed atmosphere. Stockholm is a bit shit and touristy and I've read about a few people having a really tough time living there.
But about my Swedish man, it's still going great. We spend a lot of time together when he isn't at work, so it'll be a bit strange when I start my summer job away from this town.
Only temporary though, and I'll be back to celebrate my first white Christmas in Sweden! I met a swedish guy 2 months ago at the university. He used to look at me during the lectures but when I catched him he just scared. We never had a conversation until the end of the period. Then I managed to get his number and send him a message. I'm very shy as well so I just presented myself and asked him how he was?
He answered me "I'm fine! Since that we didn't talk anymore and I'm feeling so bad. If someone can give me advises she's very welcome. I met a swed guy, been together fo about 6 months.. A bit unemotional but that ok.
I was captivated by his characteristics, which made me love him even more.. I met a Swedish man online, it is a long distance relationship for now. I have been reading a lot of these types of articles, and I'm quite confused.
American dating a swedish man
I read about how Swedish men are emotionally reserved and don't do much talking, nor do they pursue. But mine pursued me from the start. He started the conversation, we talked for hours and hours. He is also very affectionate in the sense that he tells me I'm beautiful and how when we finally see each other how he wants to hold me and kiss me, among other things.
He was the first one to say I love you. He was also the first to talk about marriage and kids. I believe this is the kind of thing that can't be answered by an article, nor can stereotypes apply. It depends on the man and your relationship. Scan for the best Escorts profiles on the site. After being in relationship with him for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused.
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The next installment of my discussion on Swedish and American guys Something I didn't anticipate when I first posted anything about Swedish guys and girls was what would happen when that post went out into the world wide web.
In my site analytics I can sometimes tell what google search words lead to entering this Stockholm Stories page. And let me tell you something The title of this post was one such google search query. I felt for the person that did the search I understand the feeling of doing an internet search for something that there are probably no true answers for, but trying anyway.
So who is trying and what do they want to know? Germany "what are swedish guys like" Norway "how to get a swedish guy to fall for you" The Netherlands "learn more about swedish boys" New Zealand "swedish guys who are they" Thailand "when a swedish guy tells you how he feels" Estonia "things swedish guys like" USA "do swedish guys like american girls" and "do swedish men love american women" and "swedish boys vs american" and then from Amsterdam to Hong Kong to Sydney to San Francisco to Bucharest to Barcelona to London to several right here in Stockholm, just the simple search "swedish guys".
I am not sure what the worldwide rank of most internet searches by male nationality is, and if Swedes are high on that. But I have a feeling now that they are up there. Swedes are impressive travelers, no matter where you go you will find a Swede, as I have on a plane to Uganda or when river rafting in New Zealand, and then of course there were a few in Santa Barbara.
So they get around. And clearly, they leave an impression. Am I qualified to answer any of the searches from above? I can't claim that. But I do think a lot about people and how they work in general, I've read a lot of what people with experience are writing on the topic, and I guess that I and countless girls that I know have what adds up to quite a bit of experience with Swedish guys.
A couple weeks before I ever even moved to Sweden, my friends and I were hanging out with a couple Norwegian guys we'd met, and as we all talked and they heard a bit about what my last two years had looked like, they tried to call me a "Swedenizer".
I protested and defended myself, saying that yes I was moving to Sweden and had dated and known some Swedes but I was not limited to only that or trying only for that. Then they pointed to what I was wearing. It was a bright blue dress with a yellow belt and shoes. Exactly the colors of the Swedish flag.
Arguing in that moment was futile. The point is, I will speak of my observations as best as I can at this point, knowing that I am no expert, and accepting that I am generalizing.
So, in reference to some of those searches What are Swedish guys like? They are polite and reserved. When drunk, they are a bit rowdy and don't think anything of bumping into girls or pushing past them to get where they're going. They love to dance and sing almost more than any guys I've met from any country. And really tender towards and about children. Many of them know how to cook. They are well dressed.
When you talk to them, their facial expressions reveal more of what they are thinking than non-Swedish guys.
There is little "small talk expressiveness" that you would find in a conversation with an American, but I can more easily read the overall feeling and interest that a guy has about a conversation and me in Sweden when we talk. They will check you out more easily than the guys I've grown up around in California, but unlike the men who do that in Latin America or somewhere, they won't say or do anything about it.
They, to me, seem a bit vulnerable at times. At least compared to what I know growing up in California. I don't really know how to explain this one yet. Swedish guys are hard to read emotionally sounds like it contradicts with the earlier point above, but now I'm talking about them more in depth , they are conflicted, and they can tend to have a hard time making the first move, and they are proud like all Swedes, and me.
I hear over and over again from Swedish and non-Swedish girls that Swedish guys are just more confused in general. I've heard these girls say a million times to each other, themselves, me, etc.
I've asked a Swedish girl friend before if she thought, with all her travels and dating that she's done, if she agreed with that broad stereotype. She said, "I think that in Sweden, it's not as valued, at least compared to some other countries, especially the US, to be super sure of yourself and what you're doing.
Wavering or putting off a decision for awhile or leaving things mentally tangled up is more accepted here, so Swedish guys do that in romance and don't think that it's a turn off. But as far as men everywhere go, they are probably all as equally confused inside, it's just that Swedish guys go ahead and act that way. When a Swedish guy tells you how he feels Oh, does that happen? Probably, occasionally, with some of them.
Saying exactly what you want and feel is not exactly a Swedish cultural value in general. A Swedish girl one time saw a message that a Swedish guy had written to a girl that said very directly "I think you are interesting, fun, pretty and I want to get to know you better.
I thought what the guy said was refreshingly straightforward. But being subtle is more the way to go here, it seems. Things Swedish guys like You know what would make my answer here more interesting is if I hold back on my usual diplomacy. I don't love stereotypes.