Don't have an account yet? Get the most out of your experience with a personalized all-access pass to everything local on events, music, restaurants, news and more. Photo courtesy of Peter Beste Editor's note: Rap pioneer and Geto Boys member Willie D dispenses sage advice , for free! Something on your mind? I can't believe I messed around and had a baby by a man who already had three baby mamas -- he never told me about the third one. I found that bit of information out when we were at our year-old son's school watching him play in a basketball game.
If you want to be able to give all of yourself to someone and purge your insecurities, you have to change your reaction. I don't know what traumatic experience in your life triggered such deep depression -- most people experience some form of abuse and neglect -- but you don't have to allow what happened to you to define you.Iyanla Speaks to 6 Men Who Have 87 Children with 50 Different Women - Iyanla: Fix My Life - OWN
Having the capacity to love another human being unconditionally is commendable, but as George Benson asserted and Whitney Houston later affirmed, "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. My wife used to treat me like a king, but ever since the kids came into the picture, I feel like a peasant.
She hardly ever has time for me, but any little thing the kids want her to do, she's right their saluting like a soldier reporting for duty. I don't mind doing things for her but when I ask her to do something for me it's a problem. I bring her flowers, buy her nice gifts, and take her out to fancy places. I'm not even asking for big things, just simple stuff. A few days ago, I was getting off of work late and was not going to make it to the shoe repair shop before closing.
So I asked my wife if she could stop by to pick up my shoes since she would be passing only one block away from the shop on her route home. Without pause she said she couldn't because she had just came from a birthday party with the kids and was tired.
Dating a guy with 3 baby mamas
I understand that she gets tired from handling the kids, but I get tired from hour workdays and I'm still considerate of her needs. How do I rectify this situation before I turn to another woman for my needs? I figured you weren't getting any. Many women put the kids' needs and wants above their husband's once they have children. On the surface that may sound commendable, but really it throws off the natural order of the family unit, hence infidelity and the high divorce rate.
A man's wife's needs should come before anyone's, including his mother's. Likewise, a wife's husband's needs should come before anyone's including her kids', as long as no danger is involved. This is not to say that she loves her kids less than she loves her husband. If children see mom and dad arguing and fighting, it will have a negative impact on them emotionally. Contrarily, if mom and dad are loving towards one another the family unite operates in harmony.
Remind your wife that you love your kids as much as she does, but her needs take precedence because she is your partner. If it helps, present to her the analogy of a team sport. She and you are the coaches and your children are the players.
If the coaches are not on the same page the team will become disillusioned and chaotic.
There are those who will say, "A man can take care of himself. Ask Willie D anything at askwillied. You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter s - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Top 10 Rap Battles in History. The 20 Worst Hipster Bands. Or sign in with a social account: Recommended For You Music Pick: What Should I Do? It will be unavoidable and would add quite a bit of drama to your life.
How many are we talking when you say multiple? I presume you mean 3 or more? Yes I would say it is a red flag, depending on the circumstances. Even better if he still has contact with them. It shows that even though the relationship is over, he still takes responsibility.
Points go into the negative if the children are close in age because they've likely been created through having affairs. Do they care for and make the effort for their children?
Is Dealing With A Man Who Has Children By Multiple Women Too Much Of A Headache?
This is what you'd need to consider. My uncle aunts ex boyfriend had 12 children with several different women. We don't know the actual number, but it was at least 4.
These 12 are only the ones we could count, and not the ones he'd lost, didn't know about or the paternity was questionable!
He had two children with my aunt, one passed away and the other went into care because of his convictions. He was in and out of prison through his adult life. He was a cereal cheat and sometimes used women for his own gains.
Some of his children he bothered with, some he didn't. Despite all of this he managed to attract women like a magnet. Don't ask me how! After three years of being with my aunt, and her doing everything for him while he was in prison, he left her for her sister a woman we no longer class as family!
Put it this way: She's basically dumped one prisoner for another, and lost her kids to social care in the process…. This is a guy who will never have two nickels to rub together. He will be spending all of his income on child support. This is a guy who will never be faithful to one woman. He will develop STDs at a rate that will make the doctors swoon.
This is a guy who will lie in every situation. Never expect the truth. This is a guy who has one head that thinks for him. Is it a huge red flag for a girl to date a guy with multiple baby mamas? Have you done the 10k year challenge? Advance through the ages of human history and into the future in this award-winning city building game. You dismissed this ad. If you decide to persue a relationship with him, just use your head.
If he wanted to play you, he would've kept the truth from you. You have the truth, so make sure you take your time in the relationship, and don't have any kids with him until he says I do. Oct 20, 3. Oct 20, 4. Three different children between three women means someone is irresponsible.
I don't care if he maintained long term relationships with all three. At the end of the night, he still impregnated women he did not care enough to marry.
That's three separate households, three separate personalities kids and moms.
can a good relationship come out of dating a man with 3 kids by 3 diff women?
Three possible headaches and three possible child support payments. I'd tell him we can be friends and leave him alone. Oct 20, 5. Oct 20, 6. My question to you is how old are the kids?
How is the relationship with the mothers and is he on child support for the kids? You need find out how is the relationship with the kid mother are because you don't need the drama plus another thing find out how often he see the kids even though you have not known this dude for a moment take you time and slow down.
So lets say if he is on child support depending on the relationship with the mom you need to question would one of them take him back to court for double salary and hit your pockets also especially if he failed to pay. Last at least you 2 talking about marraige already.
Becareful because he could and yes I am saying he could be the type of dude that is looking for a chick to marry so he can catch up on bills and child support payments. Oct 20, 7. Oct 20, 8.
The milk's gone bad. Oct 20, 9. He has three kids he's already started. Oct 20, I guess this what they say now