He has moved on to a new girlfriend. After all, you are still madly in love with him. The idea that you might have lost him forever can be heart breaking. Fortunately, you can still give it another try before completely giving up hope. Before we begin, did you read my step by step guide on how to get your ex boyfriend back? If not, click here to read it now. So go read that guide first and then come back to this page for advice pertaining to your situation.
It is really hard to initiate conversation with her as she is a loyal girl who sticks to a guy at a time. She will most likely ignore my message if I text. What else can I do? In this scenario, it could either lead to 2 outcomes.
The first is that if the relationship you shared was meaningful, there's a likelihood that the guy she's dating now is a rebound and would eventually end. The second and worse of the two outcomes is that she has moved on to something better and isn't going to look back, because it was your first relationship and didn't maintain it well enough it's no fault of yours. Either way, there's not much you could do right now, except pick yourself up, and focus on NC as well as moving on. If an opportunity presents itself again in the future and you feel something for her still, perhaps you could give it another shot then.
How long do the rebound relationship usually last? What if the new guy is really experienced and treats her well enough of the things I didn't do?
Is she still feeling emotional about our relationship or that she has moved on to the new guy? I only managed to understand the whole stituation after the break up and it gave me a lesson learnt. I really do hope that I can get her back together and do the right things for her to be happy.
It is a torture to be waiting and thinking each day when will they eventually end. A word of advice would be to not sit around and wait for them to eventually end, because there's really no telling when it will end. In this particular situation, I hate to break it to you, but he may or may not actually be a rebound considering that you had no prior relationship experience, so there was a limit to the impression you may have left her with.
I suggest focusing on picking yourself up, and even trying to move on for the time being - you might want to consider dating again in the near future to gain more exposure as well.
If she happens to break up with her current partner in the future, and an opportunity presents itself, you could always consider your options then. I commented like a month back about my ex breaking up with me and moving onto a girl who is He is 24 and I am So it's been 3 days past the 30 day NC period and still haven't started any contact again.
I didn't do so well in the no contact period. I was motivated in the beginning and still am, have been going consistently to the gym, reading motivational books, but have days where I am crying for hours. Now they are becoming more often.
Also 2 weeks ago, my ex who blocked me on everything did this thing where he followed and unfollowed me on snapchat after an hour and then the next day followed me didn't follow back at all but then posted pics with her that night on instagram.
I also found out he unblocked me on all social media and even my number but made his instagram private. I'm getting too into details but I thought it was weird because I know he blocks contact with exes and apparently he's so happy with her.
They haven't posted anything on instagram since that post like 2 weeks ago but all the posts are still there. I'm still confused and really let this get to me in the 2nd half of NC. I'm also really hesitant about contacting again.
Do you have any advice on where to go from here? Social media has the tendency to present a very false state of truth, where people post pictures or snaps of being happy or traveling the world, but actually have many issues they do not show. Just like how you upload snaps of going out with your friends and looking happy, your ex might be doing the same.
However, if he's seen all your posts and unfollowed you after, he might be curious to see how you've been doing, and may even start to feel confused. That being said, he isn't about to just break up with his girlfriend immediately and jump back into your arms. Time is still needed for events to unfold, but for the meantime, you should focus on why you've been feeling worse lately and crying more, instead of waiting for him or thinking too much about the situation.
The likelihood of her being in a rebound relationship is dependent on the type and length of relationship the both of you shared. If things were serious and there was a meaningful relationship, it's possible that she is going through a rebound. But you also have to consider why the relationship didn't work out in the first place, because that would explain further how she feels about you.
I would recommend letting her relationship run it's course, and you shouldn't interfere with it, as it may push her further away. In the meantime, focus on the potential issues you had as a partner, and work on improving yourself. That way, when you decide to contact her again, at least there's a significant change that she may notice from you, which further sparks interest.
My ex boyfriend and I dated for nearly 5 years. I was 18 when we first started dating. We had an amazing relationship, we both knew we wanted to be together as we discussed marriage and kids. However, over 6 months ago my feelings seemed to have changed for him, I told him about it and broke up with him We were great for 2 months however his family decided to cut me off because of what I did and treated me poorly.
I lost all my confidence, I lost direction and I just knew he could do better than me. So I broke it off with him again and this was just over 4 months ago.
He was devastated, he tried so hard to get me back in the first month as he told me I was the love of his life. However, when we met up one night he told me he has slept with someone at his work and basically his feelings changed towards me. I stopped contact for 7 weeks. I heard nothing from him, so I contacted him because I found out he lost his job. We started talking again, we went for lunch and he was shocked in how well I was looking so he was messaging me a lot to hang etc He told me he missed me.
He kept snap chatting me since then and I found out he was seeing the same girl he slept with from work through mutual friends as he was taking her to coffee shops and shops my friends work at.
I asked him about it and he said he has no feelings for her at all and that hanging with someone because he was miserable made it easier. He is constantly with her and they were together NYE. I decided to cut him off social media along with his family. What do you think this relationship is? Because prior to cutting him off he was sill occasionally talking to me and always snap chatting me. As he told me that if I stop talking to him there would be no hope for us in the future.
I feel so confused. It could very well be a rebound relationship as he doesn't want to personally deal with the emotions of losing you, and decides to take comfort in someone else.
If he is cutting you off right now, you shouldn't linger around and wait for him as you've tried reaching out once only for him to sleep with you then go back to dating the other girl. Hi I broke up with my ex on 20th December and i was really confused The thing is that i was talking to this guy, that i thought i liked, on a social media ig and even tho my ex told me he deleted my account from his phone, he lied and a few days ago, he saw the conversation and got angry and hurt But soon after i saw him doing the same thing, even worse.
He was flirting with another girl and he was acting the way he used to act with me when we were together. Right now, the best thing to do is to give him some space to cool off. He is acting this way clearly because he is upset at your actions and wants revenge. Never let that get the better of you, and just let him know that you're sorry once more before applying no contact.
I'm 19 years old, my ex is My ex-girlfriend and I were together for 2,5 years. We broke up 6 months ago. One month after our break-up we kissed again at a festival and it was quite obvious that she wanted to get together again. She wasn't drunk when we spoke about this. However I wanted to slow things down a little bit just to give us some time to think about everything. Right after the break-up I wasn't really panicking or anything just because my friends and family took me out a lot and there was never a really a moment for me to actually think about what had happened.
The main reason why we broke up it was a mutual decision was the fact that I didn't give her much attention near the end of our relationship, as I was in my first year at university and I was quite concentrated on my work. I didn't know well how to manage my time, so we sort of lost connection. About 4 months after we broke up we started talking again and I realised that I still loved her.
However, she told she had had sex with someone who then turned out to be a player. We met a couple of times before I found this article and I told her that I still loved her. She said that she was over our relationship. A couple of days ago, a friend of mine told me that she really didn't want to have a relationship with me anymore and that she was interested in someone else who apparently doesn't even look at her in real life. I've been doing the NC-rule for about 25 days now.
One day I accidently bumped into her at the supermarket and I didn't say anything to her so now she thinks I'm mad at her which a part of me is. How should I consider the guy she's interested in and should I stick to the regular 5 step-plan from this website?
At this point, you should take what things are happening at face value. You could always start off as friends first after your NC and just slowly build a connection back up if you genuinely still want her back. But never put pressure on her to make a choice since right now, both of you are not together. We got to know each other really well, had common goals, and were even talking about marriage since that was very important to him I was hesitant because he would talk about getting married 2 years from now which was early for me.
We're both in school so things started to get stressful a month in. We fought once a week then multiple times a week, all on text. We started to focus on positive things less, he said he didn't feel connected as much but everytime we saw each other, it's like we hadn't fought. It felt like he really wanted to make it work. He did mention this classmate he worked on a project with and went to her apartment.
Both his exes cheated on him so he had trust issues so he said he would never do that to me or go behind my back. I mentioned a guy my friend was trying to set me up with to help me move on I told my ex I wasn't interested but he didn't like it. Do you have any advice? It seems like he's trying to get back at you, and this girl is probably a rebound that was emotionally there for him during the times you guys were fighting. If he really has nothing in common with her, they would not last.
Also, based on what you told me and how fast they jumped right into things, it would seem like she's most likely a rebound. Focus on your life, improve yourself, even go on other dates. If you guys shared a meaningful relationship, it's unlikely that he would get over you so quickly. I'm just so confused. He just didn't seem like the type of guy to do that, especially since he would say I'd never do that to anyone since both of his exes cheated.
But it was only like 2. I don't get it. I'm nervous because he started saying things like it wasn't love for us even though he thought it was and that we weren't compatible. In the months of getting to know each other he would say we were a team and we had a lot in common. Hi, I posted earlier, but I don't think it actually posted bc I can't find my post now.
He said he loved me, believes he is in love with me, and that I'm his best and only friend but I deserve everything I want and he doesn't think he's the guy to give it to me. I'm the longest relationship he's had as an adult, the only woman he's said I love you to, and the only woman he's lived with.
He has not had a serious adult relationship. However, 4 days later he was sleeping with a woman from work who is the exact opposite of everything he's ever said he's wanted. She 37, mother of 4, divorced, uneducated, smoker, and a truck driver at the same dead end job he's at and hates so much and trying to leave when he's done with his master's.
He's explained that she's nice and he's not just sleeping with her. That he likes her despite the ridicule he receives at work. He told me he prefers me over her and that she doesn't even come close to me so I am not to compare myself. We agreed I would move out in June, so he has since moved out and he found a rental close to her.
She is already posting on facebook that he's the one. Meanwhile, every time he comes to maintain the property he tells her that I'm not here and he proceeds to hug, kiss, and spank me playfully. I told him if he really liked her then he would be honest with her. He agreed that he doesn't want to be that kind of man for anyone. It sounds like he got a case of cold feet, but I'm not sure. He seems to be doing everything in his power to make it work with this woman who is so obviously a poor replacement of me but also an excellent distraction from him having to deal with our breakup and lovers and best friends.
In fact, he still admits that I'm still his best friend and he can't talk to her as openly and without defense as he can with me. I don't want to be the other woman in his relationship, but is this a rebound even if he's trying to do everything right and take her wishes into consideration?
Also, am I being wishful in assuming he got a case of cold feet? Do I proceed with no contact? I've been doing my part in bettering myself. Every time he sees me he tells me how great I look and that our breakup suites me.
I've told him I went on a date to which he showed jealousy and admitted it but then shook it off saying he can't really say anything considering what he's doing himself. Is there hope for us? There might be hope for you, but not right now. If that relationship he's in is a rebound which it sounds like , then you should not continue to stay hopeful in one place but at least move on a little, so that you don't constantly think of it.
I would suggest proceeding with NC and just in general, moving on with life for the moment. I appreciate the feedback and I'll continue to work on myself. Actually, I'm feeling better about myself everyday. It wasn't a bad breakup and we both remained respectful and civil with each other. There's love there, I'm just not sure whay kind of love it is, romantic or friendship.
But I'll move forward as though it's done and let him figure out what he wants in life. Meanwhile, I'll just get back to being who I was before I dedicated my life to him and his well - being. Hey Ryan, I was with my ex for 9 years. He proposed in may and things seemed fine.
Maybe a little stressful with wedding planning and me being in school and working full time. Then around mid october out of nowhere he states he's unhappy and he's been unhappy for a while and that I treated him like shit for 9 years.
I know I can be snappy at times and I begged for the first couple of weeks to give me another chance and to work on each other but he would just say that he gave me so many chances. In the back of my mind I always had this gut feeling about this girl that he was working with.
Since last november I told him I felt uncomfortable with him being friends with her. Last December someone actually made a fake facebook account and messaged me how close the two of them are and how they hung out before school all the time. When I confronted him he said some crazy person at school was starting rumors.
Fast forward to the present I found out that they have been talking and he went to her for our relationship advice and they both got feelings for each other.
I caught him at her house and she met his family 3 weeks after we broke up. I know this has been going on for a while so I am unsure if this is still considered a rebound. He lied to me and his friends about the girl and is still trying to hide her. He told everyone that he and the girl were going on a break to prove to everyone that he did not break up with me for her.
Over the next month and a half I have been seeing a therapist and things seemed to be going okay with my ex and I. He would always be the one to initiate the conversations and we went shopping, dinner, and the movies a couple of weeks ago and things seemed great.
He even texted me how much fun he had. He just keeps saying he is scared to give me another chance and doesn't think that I will change. He would go back and forth every couple of weeks. An example, I was in Miami one weekend and he was constantly texting me and his friends telling us that he wanted to work it out.
As soon as I told him if we are trying to work on each other then he would eventually have to find work somewhere else he flipped out saying I was trying to control him. He obviously still wants to be with this girl and is now using the excuse "I'm working on myself. I have not spoken to him in a week. I am just afraid that not talking to him is bringing him and the girl closer together. Do I continue with the no contact and is this girl a rebound or not?
He would think you aren't capable of change because you're still in relatively constant contact with him and just like it's hard to tell if someone lost weight if you saw them everyday, this works out to be the same - change can't be seen clearly if you see the person or talk to the person constantly.
I suggest proceeding with NC to actually work on any issues you had to become an improved version of yourself first. This girl could be a rebound but it really depends on the situation was he cheating all this while or only started dating her after the breakup. Honestly, in this situation, you might want to mentally prepare to walk away because if he can't even be honest towards you or his friends about this, you might find it hard to trust him on future occasions if you guys were to work things out.
I just think he's using the excuse I won't change because of the girl. Clearly if the girl wasn't in the picture we would be able to work on our relationship and you would think he would want to give me another chance because he did propose.
I have not spoken to him in 2 weeks other then just saying merry christmas yesterday. I do not think he physically cheated while we were together but he did emotionally cheat. He was talking to her over the past year when I asked him not to and he would lie about it.
He apparently saw her in the summer with another coworker and I had no idea and her number was changed in his phone. He caught feelings for the girl and other then stepping back from the situation he kept going on with it. I had all his passwords so I could see what he was doing with the girl and that is how I caught him because he was lying to everyone about her.
Now I really don't know what is going on because I'm kind of starting to not care. I still want to keep up with the no contact and see how that goes. Hiii okay I need some advice So I dated my boyfriend for 3 years, we moved in together at the beginning of this year. We had a difficult relationship - I cheated once, he cheated a few times.
We broke up for a week or so last year and then we got back together and decided to start fresh, no more cheating or anything we were gonna be serious. Then we moved in together a few months later. He has used this as leverage and an excuse to cheat throughout our relationship. About a month ago he told me he cheated again - we broke up. For a week I had to live there and he was so cold, didn't talk to me or see me. He was plain rude. Then I moved out and he came running back, saying he regretted everything and he still loves me and wants to work it out.
I went away on a trip for 3 days, when I came back he told me he doesn't know what he wants and he has met someone else who makes him really happy. It's been a month and I have not talked to him since. So far, he has proceeded to delete me and all my friends on Facebook, but he's still making pointed posts like "it sucks when you give your all to someone and they don't do the same".
This morning, I discovered he made a post on instagram with This new girl and captioned it "I have never been so happy, it keeps getting better and better with you". He had been following me on instagram up until this morning - so he made a post and then unfollowed me. I don't necessarily know if I want to get back with him, he has really hurt me and I don't know if were right for each other.
However I still really love him and im hurt that he possibly moved on so fast. Does this sound like rebound behavior? If I decide I want to be with him and try to get him back, what steps should I take? Your advice is appreciated!! What you're describing sounds a lot like rebound behavior and isn't something you should be too worried about. If he could latch on and run back to you the moment you walked away, and yet latch onto someone new as easily when you're gone for a couple of days, it doesn't sound like it's a person you can feel secure with for a prolonged period.
That's just my opinion and if you genuinely want him back as opposed to moving on , it's something you need to be mentally prepared for. In the meantime, I would suggest applying No Contact and first focus on picking yourself up before deciding again what you should do. Hi Im Mary and i am quite confused of what this guy whom unfortunately I love so much wants.
We are in a long distance relationship and he left me last September telling me that he cannot bear the distance anymore and that he needs a gf that is physically available. It was the worst heartbreak I experienced in my whole life and it left me shattered. Even after the breakup we still communicate as he always wants to be friends. After a month I felt tired and all I know was that he finally found someone else.
I didnt contact him for almost a month but now he is coming back to mylife again saying that he misses me still. Now i am confused if this guy is even worth loving for after all what he did or is he just trying to fool me around again knowing how much I loved him so hes taking an advantage? It could be either reasons. You know him better than anyone else.
I would suggest that if he could walk away once over lack of physical contact, as long as nothing changes aka you moving to be with him or vice versa , it could easily happen a second time. Be fair to yourself and think this through on whether it's worth it. I broke up with my girlfriend in August, after dating for 7 months. She pleaded to have me back shortly in September, and after thinking about it for awhile, I regretted it and wanted her back.
It's normal that people seek comfort in others when they're upset, which is why rebounds exist in the first place. Right now she may be feeling conflicted as opposed to directly jumping into the rebound because you're still in the picture and on relatively good terms with her.
If you're certain that you can make the relationship work and not go back into the same cycle as before, I don't think you should treat the guy as a rebound where you have to back off and not interfere but rather as fair competition where you're trying to win her heart once again. Three months ago, my exboyfriend and I broke up.
We were together for a year in a long distance relationship. I don't even know who broke up with who. I was feeling unloved and I told him. I thought we would try to work things out. However, he took it as if I was saying he was wrong or that it wasn't working. He said he was going to answer me but he didn't. After some texts and after time of not talking, he suddenly met someone else when he was travelling.
Everything between them went so fast. He wrote about having a soul connection and about true love in a few days after meeting each other. I saw their interaction through social media and I could see how fast everything has been moving between them with me everything went pretty slow and it took him forever to tell me he loved me and things like that.
She is nothing like me, she is totally different both physically and in interests. She is almost 20 years younger than him. I feel they are really into each other and I am sad because I thought he would think things through and get back together.
The confusing part is that after he came back from his trip and of meeting her , he started texting me. We talked and he seemed to be sad. He told me "I have been ok" instead of great as he looks on his pictures. He has been texting me, to say nothing important. I don't understand why. Is it because he felt guilty? Is he trying to be friends? Also, after we talked for the first time in a long time, I posted a picture with a guy I met.
I didn't have any intentions of doing so, but that day he sent me a super friendly text. I don't know if it was because now it seems that each one of us moved one or could it be that he is still interested? Why does he want to start and keep talking? He could be confused and undecided on what he wants at the moment, and the other girl could be a rebound that sparked while he was trying to cope with your 'breakup' seeing how you said that she was nothing like you.
It could be that he keeps wanting to talk to you so as to not let you go, since his spark with the rebound may have been a holiday romance.
Hi, so i was dating this girl for about 2 years and we loved each other very much. We spent everyday we could together. I slipped up and cheated on her with another girl. I then told her about what had happened and she became super angry and slept with a guy to hurt me. She told me right after she did it to make sure i felt the pain. I obviously want her back because I acknowledged my mistake but now she does not want to talk to me.
She is now with the same dude and is posting alot about him on social media for me to see. I want to commit to fixing our relationship but understand that she is not in the best state of mind to talk.
I'm going to start no contact for at least 45 days and see what happens. I'm pretty sure she still loves me and is just rebounding. Any suggestions or concerns i should be worried about? At the moment, leave her be no matter how painful it may be to see them together and during this NC period, spend time focusing and improving yourself as a person.
Give her that space to calm down and let her relationship with the guy fade out before coming back. Thanks Ryan, I will follow what you have instructed. So say i do NC and i message her and shes still upset with me, is there anything i can do? Also, I have a strong belief that she is scared to come back to me because of how bad i hurt her.
Im pretty sure this girl is my soulmate. If you're really sure that she's your soulmate and you're willing to wait, if after you apply NC and she is still upset with you, that means that it may be still too soon and you have to give her even more time, continuing with NC for as long as necessary. Hey Ryan, I just wanted to clarify that if my ex is still with her rebound after my 45 no contact period, that i should still not contact her until the other guy is gone?
Also, do you have any other tips on what to do in the time being. Well, it would be better not to, although if she contacts you first, perhaps you could always start off as friends.
In the meantime, focus on improving yourself as a person. Take up a new hobby, get a climb on your career, go out with friends, even date around again. The last thing you want is to be caught still stuck at the same place down the road when she's moved way ahead of you.
Thanks Ryan, I have moved on and I have been hanging out with other women. I don't believe my ex has moved very far ahead due to the fact that she never really dealt with our breakup rebound. It's frustrating to watch her make a fool out of herself with this new guy, her friends and others all question why she is still with him. Hi Joe, unfortunately it's hard for you to do that without coming across as desperate and wanting her back.
If you're on talking terms with her, you can always advise and tell her to be cautious of the relationship but I wouldn't do more than that. She was the one to break off the relationship.
Although, I was devastated and tried convincing we can make things work, I came to a point that of not replying to her because she was blabbering non-sence in her final set of msgs. I went to a NC, and after 2 months she contacts me again. I took it slow and talked with her. And understood that she is showing interest. However, after a while she went cold again. The same happened again twice within a period of 4 months.
This was taking me through an emotional rollercoaster. But however, I went NC again. About a month ago, she send me a msg again asking how I am. I started to talk to her, she was really nice and comforting but with time she went cold again. Unfortunately, I became a bit needy this time around. But recently I've heard that she seeing a guy. I'm hearing that she rushing into progress with the new guy. So what I your advice on this to me. I suggest you leave them be and continue with NC indefinitely.
If she's in a rebound, she will eventually break up with the guy and the rushing into things may be a way to compensate for any negative emotions she might feel against you.
The whole point of going into NC is to allow you to recover from any emotional hurt you might have faced as well as improve yourself. It's hard to do that if she keeps coming back to you but leaving you short each time.
Even if you want her back, you should be at a point where you're okay if she's back in your life, but also okay if she's not before trying for anything again. Thanks Ryan, Appreciate the fact that you had time to respond to me. Could I ask you why she's showing this kind of behaviour even though its been like 9 months since the break up?
There may still be underlying feelings of resentment towards you regarding the overall negative emotions she felt during the relationship, but it's only speculation on my part. If you really want to know for certain, the only way is to actually ask her about it. That just hurt me really bad so i told him, "is that really the reason why? Well at the moment, there isn't much you can do because of it's never right to break a relationship up.
If they're together, and has resorted to even blocking you on social media platforms, then it would better for the time being that you also move on. In the future if he ever breaks up with her and you still want him back, then perhaps you could try again but right now, I suggest applying the no contact rule.
My girlfriend and I broke up in July, she was having some family issues, she gave me the reason that she wasn't good for me, that was why the breakup happened, so she isn't going to hurt me. I followed the NC rule for 3 weeks, everything seemed to be working, she said she wanted us back, but she needed time. In October, she started dating someone. I'm about to follow the NC rule for second time, hoping it will work. If she says that she wants you back but got together with someone else, perhaps you could try to understand why it happened.
Yes, apply NC again and don't interfere with their relationship and if it's a rebound, she will break it off eventually. However, you shouldn't stay in one place for this period either not moving on and at least spend this time focusing on yourself by doing things like going out with your friends, perhaps even date again, and when the next opportunity presents itself if it does , at least you'll be emotionally prepared for it.
Hello, I've noticed my situation maybe a little more entangled then some. My boyfriend and I have live together sharing a house for almost nine years. He suffers from bipolar disorder and has recently been going through Cycles very quickly. He had met a woman on a singles website that he became friends with. Whenever he was feeling less than adequate or he and I were arguing he would go to that woman for validation that he's a great person and he's right.
A long story short, we've been going through some very trying times and even the loss of a child. He is what I call a chronic Runner, always running from his problems and never facing hard feelings and emotions. About six weeks ago we got into a terrible argument. He packed his things and he moved in with this woman. I still live in our home and we still communicate pretty much every day.
He states that they are in a relationship because he feels he needs to stay at her house and he doesn't want to rock the boat. He says he wants his own place and is looking for a townhome. He is very interested in what I'm doing and my well being. He has told me numerous times that he is still very much in love with me and that he does not love her at all. He likes her and appreciates the things that she does for him like allowing him to stay in her home.
He lies to her and comes over here and we'd even slept together. Both of us are grown he is almost 50 and I am Neither of us want to hurt anybody but I would love to work things out with him. Do we know contact is not going to work for us because as I stated we share a home together and most of his belongings are still here.
I had to admit how silly it is that I lied to everyone, including to myself, that I am utterly fine when I see him and his family on my social media accounts. It took me a while to have the strength to look and delete our old photos. I woke up from a reverie when he started dating again. My inbox is bombarded by messages from my friends saying.. What the hell happened? Who is this girl? Is she the reason for the breakup? Why did he start dating right away? On the other hand, if he does choose you, then you should understand that the reason he chose you is because of the new and improved you.
He chose the girl who is confident, happy, and secure. So if you want to keep him, you better keep those attributes as well. By now, you should have a pretty good idea about what to do and how to get your ex boyfriend back. The No Contact Rule: And if you have any questions or would like to share your story, please post a comment. Scroll down to read the comments. Before commenting, read commenting guidelines. It depends on how serious your relationship with him was and what this girl means to him.
As long as the relationship you shared with him was a meaningful one, and perhaps the reason he cheated was simply a loss of attraction over time, there's a good chance that following the steps in our main article would help with winning him back. My ex an i met after almost 2 years of contact. We were texting and went out few times ang just hugged.
When your ex-boyfriend starts dating again
He has a girlfriend and i think it is serious. After the last time we went out, he wrote me that he felt guilty after that and he hopes that he is not an important person for me. Is it reverse psychology or because of his girlfriend? Should i let it go and let him be happy with her or at least keep in touch and be friends?
Do i have any chance to get him back? I think it's because of his girlfriend, and that he is scared to end up hurting you in the event you had the wrong idea over his intentions. It's up to you whether you want to remain friends with him or let him go altogether, because its more of whether you can accept that he doesn't have any intentions at the moment at least to reconcile and purely wants to be friends. Recently his parents forced him to do an engagement with a girl of their choice.
They brainwashed him and said that something might happen to his mother if he says no for the engagement. He talked about me to his family but they disagreed. He does not like the girl and does not want to marry her but is compromising for his family. I really love him a lot and I want him back into my life. I understand that an arranged marriage can be rather old-fashioned, but if this is part of the culture and traditions back at where you're from, it's something you may have to respect, especially if he isn't willing to go against his parents regarding this arrangement.
My ex and I broke up 3 months ago. We were dating 4 months. When 3 months passed I found out he had a girlfriend. Last time one of his friends yelled hey Why don't you invite your girlfriend? And I was right in front of them when I heard him say " shut up, my ex is there ".
I don't know if his friend did it on purpose or not. I kinda do feel like they are rubbing it on my face when they hag or talk to each other. He has been hanging out where I hang out when we broke up. He passes next to me with a group of girls.
I don't understand him. He could have been playing you all along considering that he was cheating on you from the start, and his friends may have thought the situation was funny. Hi, My ex and I dated for half a year and broke about 6 months ago. We were seeing each other as friends once a month and were regularly texting. The best thing you can do right now is to build a positive connection with him once again, keeping things casual and light-hearted.
These things would help remind him of the feelings he may still have for you and to perhaps change his decision in wanting you back. However, this decision is ultimately something he has to make himself and you can't force him to decide. It would be good if you could remain patient and not harbor unnecessary expectations which could lead to you acting out when things don't go according to plan.
Keep an open mind and remain confident that the bond you shared with him would be stronger than the one he has with his new girlfriend. My ex and I broke up after 2 years after we became long distance after living together for a year. He was devastated when we broke up and said that in a year and a half when we could be together again we could be perfect again.
Start by building up a connection again and breaking the ice with light hearted topics. Avoid talking about getting back together for now, since he has to be the one to feel that way and want to voluntarily end things with his girlfriend to be with you.
My ex and i have been apart for two years. He recently apologized for the break up and we are now on talking terms. He hasn't really asked that we begin a new relationship but he uses words of endearments whenever we are texting. He says he's still single but has a daughter with another lady.When Your Ex Starts Dating Right Away Don't Panic: Here's 4 Reasons Why!
I still love him and want us to give it another try. I'd love to know your advice. Continue with the conversation and since he seems to be the one reaching out, allow him to take charge and see where its headed. You can decide again when you know more about his intentions. Went through the no contact, it was hell. Met up with her at a local bar on the weekend, and everything went smooth, she was really into me still. I laid it all out on the line, Opened up completely.
Put myeslf out there. Through the "Relationship with me" card out. She considered it, with a few buts But then I pushed. She finally lost it, brought up the reason for the breakup, in a very harsh way, and I called her on it. She broke got angry, referred to the reason for breakup again. She's determined now to not change her mind about getting back together, and is firm in her place! Back down from pressuring her to get back together with you.
The fact that she considered it was a good thing but the pushing probably threw her consideration out the window. You're going to have to work at her pace if you want to win her back and keep in mind that it's not something that logic can win.
Right now, your chances are slim but if you give her some space before easing back into talking to her, with no pressure or pushiness to make any decision, you might still have a chance to win her over. My ex boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me 8 months ago. The break was kind of sudden. We argued a lot and one day he just turned cold on me. He blame the whole break up on me but personal it was both parties fault.
After the break up we still had occasional sex. He then got a girlfriend and moved in with her and her son a month after us having occasional sex. He said he can never see us being together again. That I ruin the relationship. I still love him and want to be with him. I beg him all the time to be back with him and tell him how much I love him. I even tried no contact. How do I get over him when I still love him? Should I be his friend even though we both know I secretly want more?
What should I do? Avoid begging anymore in the future as this paints a weak image of you where he might not feel as inclined to choose you over the perceived neediness and desperation you portray by begging.
If you have strong feelings for him and think that it isn't controllable, being friends right now isn't a good idea as you risk doing something reckless due to your emotions that pushes him even further away. This is my situation explained as simple as I can: I am 43, my ex husband is We have 3 kids all over the age of We were married for 22 years. I left him in Sept , had an emotional relationship with someone, went out, drank, partied and all this time I was being watched and had pictures taken I didn't deny anything.
My ex reached to me for 5 months for me to come back but I refused, I was in a bad place in my head and wasn't a very good person. He filed for divorce and we have been divorced 4 months now. Since February I have been begging him to give me another chance that I am a much better person, have asked for forgiveness and I truly feel that our relationship could be so much stronger That he is numb and very angry. He has this "girl" friend that he has become very close to.
He says she is just a good friend, when they get together they just talk to help each other out. I decided last night that I will not be contacting him for a long time now. Unless of course it pertains to the kids. Although I know what I did broke his heart into pieces and although I know that what I did to our marriage caused the divorce, I know I can make him happy again.
I am not sure how to handle our situation and not push him away. I am beside myself. And very much heartbroken. No contact at this point would probably be appropriate for some time at least to let both parties clear their head. If you want to reach out to him down the road, avoid begging him to take you back, ease into things and show him with your actions the changes you've made and give him a reason to want the relationship back.
My ex broke up with me a week and half ago. He has started dating some one else. Give him some space for now, and focus on picking yourself up from the breakup, emotionally and mentally, especially with the pregnancy on the way.
If you push too hard for him to come back right now, things may end up backfiring and he distances himself further away from you. Hi I was in a long term relationship with my boyfriend and we have children together. I hated him and he knew it. I left him when he started seeking attention from other women.
We were both in a bad way for a long time and I held on to so much resentment. We tried getting back together a few times but the resentment from the past caused fights and break ups.
I left him over 3 year ago. Over the past year he has been trying to win me back over but I kept pushing him away. Unfortunately he met someone new this past month and has started dating her. He told me he will always love me as the mother of his children but felt he needed to move on. He said this before he started dating this new woman but he had been chatting to her. Do I have any chance of getting back together with him?
I did move on shortly after I broke up with him but it was a rebound and it hurt him a lot. If the relationship was meaningful enough, which based on what you said, seems to be the case, he might come to the same realization as you after some time and decide to want to try things again. Hi, my boyfriend and I broke up last for more than 2 months already.
We were in a 10yrs relationship. There were a lot of reasons for the breakup, he said we weren't growing in the relationship and that he couldn't see a future with me anymore. He also said that he wasn't happy with our relationship anymore.
I begged and tried to contact him during the first few months to get back to be and give our relationship another try but he's still firm with his decision that what we have is over already. I traveled for 3 weeks last July to get my head off the breakup, before I left he was still affectionate and telling me that he still love and cares for me.
He was even checking on me when i was traveling. But when I got home, I discovered that he's already dating this other girl. We'd had a few fights about her before our breakup because they were calling each other at wee hours.
This girl just broke up as well from her boyfriend a few weeks before dating my ex boyfriend. Now, my ex's sister told me that my ex already introduced this new girl to their family and the girl did the same to her family. My ex has gone cold and was telling everyone that he's happier now and that there's no chance in us getting back together anymore. Is there really no chance here? I can't quite know if this new relationship is a rebound or serious.
Here’s What You Need To Realize If Your Ex Moved On Quickly
I've cut contact with him for 3 weeks now. If he was together with you for 10 years, there's a good chance that the next relationship he jumps into would be a rebound. I would recommend spending this time to pick yourself up, and grow as well as a person in order to stand a better chance if you intend to win him back.
Hi, my boyfriend broke up with me after a 5 years relationship. Before the break up he was at the same time really passionate and caring, and other times very distant and angry. We lived together for 4 months. Than one day he said that he wasn't in love with me anymore, he cried a lot and I packed some of my stuff and went to my parents house for the weekend.
After a few days he said that he wanted to break up. I moved back with my parents. After 2 weeks we talked again. He was crying a lot, and said he was sorry for the way he treated me, but the day after he broke up with me he started to date a collegue and he said that he wanted to move to another country with her on january.
I asked him why he wanted to move to another country since he never expressed the desire to do so, he replied that he wanted to run away from me and his family. He also said that he will forever feel guilty for the way he treated me. He looked very depressed, and I know from mutual friends that he started to drink a lot and stay out at night until morning.
He also seems to be very serious with this girl, doing a lot of things he used to do with me. Also at the end of the relationship he said that he lost attraction because we couldn't see eachother often due to different working hours. Do I have any chance at getting back together? Is it a rebound relationship or not? It may potentially be a rebound, especially since the expressed motive behind moving countries was to run away from you and his family.
As for chances, there does still seem to be a chance to reconcile since his actions are directly related to you at the moment, and he is very affected by the breakup as well. My ex broke up with me one week and a half ago. He told me he still likes me and wanted to stay friends.
It's just that he didn't see a future in it. He couldn't pinpoint what the problem is we had great sex and I'm always supportive of everything he does or wants to do.
He assured me there wasn't someone else and also that I didn't have to worry about him dating anytime soon. But after less than a week he's already going on dates!!!! I found this out yesterday after he reluctantly told me when I asked what his plans were for the evening since he kept refusing me.
I basically made all the deadly mistakes. A lot of crying and ugly sobbing and being needy He hasn't responded to any of my messages since yesterday evening when I went to his house, broken down. And when I went again this afternoon to suggest a walk he said "no, some other time. It was nice that you came to see me though".
I now know after finding this site through Google that I need to start No Contact and realised that maybe our relationship partially didn't work because I lost my own identity. I was his second girlfriend, his ex broke up with him because of his jealousy problems. He was never interested in actively going dating we started when I was in An open relationship, but even then he just didn't feel motivated to date girls I'm looking for support in all this.
Please let me know what you think of the situation and my chances. There's a chance that he got bored of the relationship over time and lost the spark, despite the positive aspects of it. Usually, these situations require a bit of time for the other party to realize that what they had was great and it was a mistake throwing it away. Hi I was seeing this guy from March to August, we were really intense, passionate, he was infatuated with me and we would talk all day everyday, we had everything in common, but he broke up with me in May bc he felt like we argued a bit to much and like he was putting in more effort than me.
I did a lot of mistakes like begging for him to stay and being a doormat during the breakup and after the breakup. We stayed in contact even after the break up in May until August, we were still flirty with each other but there was still no commitment and he was a bit hot and cold with me. We would speak to each other at least once a day until two weeks ago.
Two weeks ago he told me that he was being distant and a lot less flirty bc he decided he wanted to give this girl that has had a crush on him for a while a chance at being with him bear in mind he told me about this girl in May but still continued to be flirty, sexual and close to me even after he told me about her. What is the best thing for me to do?
It would depend entirely on what your goal is - to win him back or walk away. I would recommend going back to NC, but don't delete him off social media. My husband of 11 years and I split up at the beginning of the month. I take full responsibility as I had an affair following my mum passing away and feeling unsupported by him but I made a bad choice. He asked to reconcile and I was still in a bad place. I have since realised what I massive mistake I made and tried to make amends.
Do I have any chance? You don't have to do fully do no contact given the circumstances you're in, but avoid small talk and interaction with your ex with the exception of matters related to the children. Given that the relationship was over such a long period, there is a chance that he still has feelings for you but may simply be going through a rebound right now. Follow the guidelines found in our articles on how to handle rebound relationships as well as no contact.
I asked him why he was asking and he said he still cares about me despite everything. Well, if you feel that way, perhaps give it some space to see if he's sincere or not. If he's not sincere, he would probably stopping trying to contact you after awhile. Hi My boyfriend and I broke up , I followed the no contact rule for about a month , he has been dating another girl for 3 months and we met after my no contact and I slept with him because he made promises to me , did I make a huge mistake?
What should I do now to make things in my favour? It would depend on how he is treating you now, after you've slept with him because he made promises to you that would determine whether it was a mistake. Hi, my boyfriend and I broke up 3 months ago. I begged him but he refused so I stopped.
After 2 months he came back begging but I was harsh towards him. I then called him and apologized and also told him we are fine but he refused saying he has met his new girlfriend and she is giving him the peace he really wants.
Is Your Ex In a Rebound Relationship? Find Out With These Telltale Signs
I want him back now and my friend got to talk to him, she said he is just beginning to love the girl and he told her that I can fight for him if I want. How do I do that?? Is there a real chance? I know he loves me more than her. If that is the case, then perhaps you would have to convince and remind him why he loves you more than her. This could be through your actions of trying to win him back or trying to rekindle the flame once again with him. I am so nervous him and his girlfriend are going to be something big.
I really love this man. Keep in mind that the focus during this period that you've stopped contact with him is the period you should be focusing on what went wrong with the relationship, and whether there were things that you could do to change about yourself in a positive manner, as well as to use this time to pick yourself up from the break up. Follow the guidelines found here if you require further information about the concept of no contact.
Hey, My boyfriend and I live together and been together for over 7 years. Do you think if he left for a different attraction, my chances are low? He may have left for a different attraction because of the grass in greener syndrome, which he may have started to feel after being together for so long that there are 'better' fish out there. The fact that you were together with him for so long means you connected on an emotional level at the very least but physical attraction may have been lost over time, which is possibly also why he feels bad and the need to apologize.
Follow the guidelines found in this and our other articles as well on the steps and measures to winning him back. My ex and I have been together for 4 years and just broke up a little more than 1 week ago and we did not end in bad terms, despite being a mutual decision I felt like I was forced to break up with him, because I caught him lying to me and he was drifting away.
After the break up I found out that he was emotionally cheating on me with one of his overseas colleague they do meet frequently since he has to fly to her country quite often, but will not be as frequent moving forward 1 month prior separating we were having huge arguments then, about commitments and settling down issues. The week before the break up, we are still acting like a normal couple and was assuring each other that we will work on our relationship, but after his overseas business trip to his female colleague country, where I found out he spent the weekend with her and some of his other colleagues.
I found out all these information from his mum that was when i found out he was lying and was talking to someone else , he called me the next day of his return and we mutually broke up over the phone. I have stopped contacting him after the break up, cause I thought it was a good time for me to do some self-reflection on myself and our relationship - me trying to understand what went wrong.
I was motivated to contact him after having no contact for 2 weeks. However, I have recently spoken to his mum again for some advice his parents loves me a lot , and she told me that he looked like he moved on not moaning at home, going out with his friends, texting his female colleague etc and has every intentions to fly over to his colleagues country just to see her.
Of course, this news upsets me because I thought I would still have a chance on reconciliation with him Right now, I am worried that I will not have any opportunity with him anymore. But neither do I understand whether his overseas colleague is a rebound since he started chatting with her before breaking up with him or something he is committed to?
Please advise on what I should do please? A rebound relationship could just as easily have started before the previous relationship ended since he probably built the connection with her to escape whatever negative emotions he felt in the relationship with you.
This could have been built upon after the breakup because in order to avoid feeling empty and lost from the breakup, he continues to contact her instead which also occupies his mind and time from having to deal with the breakup. Continue with NC and perhaps observe whether the likelihood of her being a rebound is there before you decide whether to move on or not.
Hi, but if the coworker is located in another country away from him. Would you think it is possible for them to build a meaningful relationship together?
Also, should I wait for him to contact me, or should I make the first move first? I am afraid if I took awhile to contact him, he might get use to my lack of presence and the chances of me reconciliation with him would be low My ex and I broke up a little more than 2 weeks ago. He said he didn't feel the same anymore and he can't do it anymore, he didn't wanna hurt me than he already was. I applied no cantact 10 days after we split and yesterday, 20 days after we broke up, i just discovered that is already with another girl.
My friend got really upset cos she thought he cheated and went to ask him about it but he answered no and he said he never cheated. He said he's just getting to know her and he just doing what he can to feel better. Do i still have a chance after all this? Ill be going to another country for a year and he promised to take care of my pet while im away so it isn't gonna be hard to see him again if I want to after the no contact period. Should I follow the rule or should I just go ahead and see him?
Regardless, you should be considering NC right now at least to sort your emotions out first, because contacting him while you're feeling hurt will only cause you to come across as desperate and needy and this would further ruin any chances you have at winning him back.
Pick that up, and then consider your options again. I broke up with my ex, mainly due to stupidly listening to my friends and not being strong enough to tell them they were wrong etc I hated my decision but was very lost and confused..
I saw him a week later and we spent the weekend together with lots of tears but passion as well. I said I just needed time, mainly because I was in counselling and wanted to talk everything through with her. I drove to his house Friday to sort things out and he got in my car, and cried, told me he loved me, was kissing me but he had to tell me something. He again, went there anyway.
The first time he was alone without me or her he was texting me making sure I was okay, and again sending me music that we used to listen to.
How do I get him back!?!? S the new girl is 19, and has recently broken up with her ex. Well, seeing her probably makes him feel better and eases the pain he feel regarding the breakup with you. It's likely that she may be a rebound considering how he started dating her almost immediately after, which is a sign of avoidance and not wanting to deal with the break up itself.
If you genuinely want to win him back and he's just starting to date someone else but still is positive contact with you, my suggestion would be to build up attraction and a sense of familiarity first instead and give him a reason to want to come back. Since he does not want to address the issue now, then focus keeping the conversation positive so that his negative memory of the past may eventually be replaced.
I just would like to seek your opinion. I was dating this guy for 9 months and we share a great deep connection, and we both know it. However, he was never able to commit in a relationship due to his own personal issues and fears.
We agreed to remain as more than friends and continued seeing each other frequently whenever he is back home from his business trips. However, things started to become heavier due to my own insecurities and we had quite a fair number of arguments. We lived together for 6 weeks, and the relationship became very stressful for him as we had several moments of friction too.
He told me that was when he started to lose his feelings for me and felt that having two strong personalities do not work out. I know of my issues and thus, whenever I felt him withdrawing, I did not know how to give him space. After we flew back home from living together, he suddenly went cold and distant, which I did not know why.
I did everything your article told me not to do.. He contacted me a day after we came home and told me that he had slept with someone else, and told me that he wanted to end things. I reduced my texts and tried to move on. However, a week later, he contacted me and told me that he is now dating the girl who is a complete different girl from his usual type , that he took an interest in a fling more than he should.
However, he still wants me to be his friend because he knows that he will not get to have another connection like we shared with anyone else. I began to become very needy and clingy again over the loaded texts.. A few days later, he told me that he is now attached and thus hopes I'll move on. Told me too that being with me helped him to realize that he needs a woman who is of a very submissive nature, and also because this present relationship feels lighthearted for him, that he does like her but he does not know if it will last.
However, he does not really know if he sees a future with her but he has chosen to be committed to her and decided to go with it and try to make it work even though he does see many red flags.
To him, it is a different kind of happiness for him. Of course I was crushed, but the conversation we got to have about us really helped put things to a closure where he opened up to me about all the wonderful traits he saw in me but simply felt we were not compatible because he did not want me to change who I am.. He agreed too that he knew he would not be able to have such a connection again and would rather still have me as a friend than to completely lose me. Though I did share with him my opinion that I have issues too and one of it is learning to submit because of my insecurity and will be taking the time to sort myself out.
We agreed to be friends but to take some time apart because 1 he has to respect his relationship's boundaries and 2 for things to cool off a little between us when emotions are no longer in the picture. We also have an agreement that by certain age if we both are single, we would get married. He has since stopped responding to my texts and I have also ceased communication. And there is still a possibility for us to come back together to give relationship a real shot with the improved me?
To be perfectly honest, it seems to me that he may be the type to run away whenever he encounters too much stress or conflict which was why the relationship ended. You won't know now for sure but keep in mind the possibility of him having thrown convenient excuses and reasoning to make you feel better by saying that he feels connected with you but it's different, wants to be friends, both get married in the future if single at a certain age, etc.
You'll probably only know if he's sincere about everything he said when you contact him again after some time has passed and you are more stable, depending on his response. We still contact here and there. He claims that he is very happy with this current girl and that he has been having much difficulties wrapping his head around the emotions he is feeling, also saying that he does feels like he is falling for his girlfriend. He mentioned to me that it was because of me that helped him to let go.
I am not sure if this is a rebound relationship, but I know we do have great potential together which he did agree too if I had learnt to give a man his space. In this scenario, I am wondering if the methods that are stated in this article be of any chance at success? Or anyone has actually managed to attain success before.
Perhaps if you visit our forum page, you'll be able to find some success stories regarding other people's relationships. There's always a chance at success but the circumstances would vary for everyone. It really depends on how the situation plays out and many of these aspects beside focusing on yourself aren't areas you have control over.
Hi Kevin and fellow broken hearts im so grateful for this article. I just have a question. I have initiated no contact period with my ex it seems he has moved on but i really want him back and for the right reasons. Im following Kevins tips about how to be a happier healthier version of yourself. I have even been on 2 dates but no more than a peck on the cheek with the dates because i actually really want my ex back. My question is when is the perfect time to start texting him as i want to hit that sweet spot you speak of.
I have quoted this section of your article below. It depends on the stage of no contact you're in, how long you've been broken up for, how the relationship ended and whether his new girlfriend is a rebound or not.
If you said that he might have moved on, I assume that some time has passed. You could always try to contact him soon, but more as a friend and see how he responds to you. If it's positive, you could continue the conversation to see where it leads but if it's a negative response, based on what you've said, there might be a chance that he has already moved on and in which case, you might want to consider doing the same.
If an opportunity presents itself in the future, you could always consider again if you still have feelings for him. I have been dating this guy on and off from to He has broken up with me before and would come back. I could see why he was saying that. The problem is he is dating a lady in another country, now.. We had arguments about her as he would keep contact with her.
Now they communicate like a couple, and I live in the same house as my ex, and she is across the ocean.
How can I get him back? Do you think I still have a chance? You still have a chance but it's a small one and provided you're patient enough to wait, because you'll have to wait for their relationship to end before you can try anything.
Continue improving yourself in the meantime so that when an opportunity presents itself in the future, you'll be a changed person in his eyes. My ex and I had a big fight in December We were together for 4 years.
We were messing around until January In September of , we started dating this girl, and she asked him out in January of , and he said yes. He told me that he was never going to ask her out, and to wait for him For 4 months because he didnt know how it would turn out. We had sex the day that he told me. We didnt speak since then because I was upset. A mutual friend told me that he said he could never love his new girl, and not like he loved me.
And also that he still brings me up. And she can tell In His eyes that he still loves me. And that she doesn't think he really wants to be with her. We are currently not on speaking terms, but if we spoke to each other, we would be okay with responding. We recently just took each other off of our block lists. Also, he came to my Hometown quite a few times over the summer just to see me and be with me. And he constantly called me at work to talk to me and left me voicemails telling me that he loves me, and call me to say good morning.