Met a girl OL, we started chatting, sending long messages back and forth talking about a range of topics, music, her life, my life and so on. After the 10th message:. She then responds with 'if we meet up, she will then give out her number after the date providing how it goes'. At which point I thought to myself, god this is weird, we have practically been writing essays back and forth and you are not comfortable giving me your number? The only ever time I have heard that from a potential OL date, is when they are not serious and just enjoy the attention. At this point, I thought, ah fuck here we go again, I have been duped.
Met a girl OL, we started chatting, sending long messages back and forth talking about a range of topics, music, her life, my life and so on. After the 10th message:. She then responds with 'if we meet up, she will then give out her number after the date providing how it goes'. At which point I thought to myself, god this is weird, we have practically been writing essays back and forth and you are not comfortable giving me your number?
The only ever time I have heard that from a potential OL date, is when they are not serious and just enjoy the attention. At this point, I thought, ah fuck here we go again, I have been duped.
She then asks me if I agreed, told her the above, how giving the number out is a two way thing, shows interest and also pointed out that I wasn't impressed with her saying after asking her out 'if we meet up', when it should not be 'if' but 'when we meet up'. Unsurprisingly, she then goes on the defensive, and ends up with her blocking me on the app after I told her that most women I go on dates with have no problem giving their number out, and if it doesn't work out, we just stop chatting.
Getting fed up with this, thinking about taking a break. Seem to be attracting these nutty types lately, who are immensely self absorbed and self centered thinking it all has to be on their terms and being in full control of the interaction. This is how it goes. Its a waste of time. It's a platform for women to get attention and validation. Very, very few are open to real dates. I read it takes 12 hours of effort for a guy to get a date online.
Online dating is a hotbed of narcs, disordered people, entitled people, flakes, ghosters. I think the stat is a man has to send messages to get a response and date.
A women puts up a profile, and not even a good one, and her inbox is flooded. There is also a much higher percentage of men than women on dating sites. Another thing, women are only going for the 8s, 9s and 10s, even if they are lower on the scale themselves. Where as men have to lower their standards to get a women to interact, and in my experience every one of these women have had an issue of some sort.
I've been at this for a year and a half with varied success, but I've come to the conclusion that it's not worth it. Work on yourself, do the things you like, and meet people that way.
Online dating is a business. It's not the online dating sites fault.
It's just the way women are today. Read up on hypergamy and Briffault's law. It's too easy for women to monkey branch and get attention in the day of facebook and dating apps. Logically dating sites should work, but my experience is that they don't. Women get hit on all the time, so ask yourself why would a quality women need a dating site. Just my two cents. I'm done with it. I've tried them all. The type of profiles I see for London is men demanding a super fit type of woman who goes to the gym all the time!
I don't have the time or the resources: I will jogging in the park, yes, I don't drink alchohol to help with my figure..
Also, the number of men looking for a hook up is insane, I waste hours and hours trying to filter them out! Don't know you, but from the vibe I get, you seem like a decent girl jaded by Online dating like I am right now.
Hope it works out for you - fuck feeling like shit at the mo. Downbeat right now, but thanks for putting it into perspective. I know a lot of people have met OH on dating apps; I also met my ex from it, but it just doesn't seem to happening for me but is happening for everybody else, so frustrated right now at the quality of matches.
They have those in London.
Online dating time wasters
I'm looking to go on one myself. To be real, I am not sure why anyone would take that too personally.
This is exactly my experience, minus the insta-stalker. The vast majority of guys I've explained this to completely understand that women face a lot of danger and uncertainty online, and they're more than willing to chat on the app until we can meet in person.
Should screen them better IMO, and if they are weird as hell block their number. Too boring, loss of interest etc getting paranoid and thinking every guy is going to stalk you is just arrogant.
Strong sense of self entitlement. As I said from my experience women that do not give it out are usually the worse types, flakey, uptight, non serious and attention seeking. As I mentioned in another comment on this post, blocking their number doesn't keep them from harassing me from a different phone line.
And I have stepped up my game on screening guys. One way I screen for guys that have no respect for boundaries is that I decline to give out my number until we've met in person. Only a small minority of guys like yourself have a problem with that, and those are the ones to avoid. It's been working out pretty well.
To be fair, number aside, the girl did strike me as extremely self absorbed by only ever talking about herself, to the point I had remarked to my work colleague, this girl is annoying me. Hold and below, when things were not going her way, she fucks off. I did also tell this girl that if it didn't work out, it would be a clean break like with other women I've gone on dates with, the girl didn't listen, ignoring my perspective. RED FLAG, clearly wasting my time and not comfortable around me after chatting - don't want a negative person like that in my life.
Well I'm not really sure why you wanted to meet her then. Guys complain ad nauseum about girls using online dating sites to boost their own egos, but then you turn around and keep giving her attention even though you find her annoying. You're just rewarding bad behavior and contributing to the thing you hate. I started to feel the vibe after the 10th message, how she would keep on endlessly talking about herself and not really taking that much interest in me, but never the less was giving her the benefit of the doubt until she started acting pissy and confirmed it by not seeming excited about the prospect of going on a date with me and b with holding her number.
I remember she did say that she often goes on dates where it is awkward and uncomfortable I took it personally because I had spoken to her for ages, talking about practically everything sending lonnnggg messages back and forth.
Think women like the girl who went ape shit should use their judgement better based on how well they are getting along with someone, and not think every guy is going to be the same. The fact that she is, as opposed to treating me as an individual, is in itself a red flag.
I guess everyone is different, but I do honestly believe you can tell if the person is decent early on, I usually can.
How To Avoid Time Wasters When Dating
Hence, getting a girls number is a really good way in figuring out how interested they are, and about investing too much of my time into somebody not serious about going on dates. Honestly I never give out my number before meeting in person. I have a friend who had to get a new phone number because some d-bag got mad she didn't want to date him and wrote her number along with graphic and made up details on several men's room walls. If I'm getting along with someone online, I'll want to meet in person within a few days to a week.
If that goes well, we can exchange numbers. I have no interest in being pen pals or wasting anyone's time, but if guys can't understand my concerns - especially after I explain the life experiences that have led to those concerns - then they aren't worth meeting in person anyway. I don't mean to sound antagonistic here, but can't you tell if someone is a weirdo or not?
You really have no clue that a man is going to send you dick pics when you give him your phone number?
From chatting for a day or so on a dating app? Sometimes red flags are obvious, but a lot of people are surprisingly good at acting normal for a while. Besides, waiting until we meet to exchange numbers is a perfectly reasonable request that doesn't really inconvenience either party. So all him initiating.
So he was to call me backat 9pm to arrange a place for the coffee today. Again HIS idea and I never heard back, nothing.
I just dont understand what goes on in the brain of these guys. Honestly if I had a dollar for every time something like this happened I would be loaded. Its like brain damage. Why say stuff if you have no intention. Thankfully I dont get bothered by this kinda stuff anymore and I certainly will not be investing in any dude I dont know but seriously its such a waste of both our time.
Can anyone shed any light on this interesting phenomenon of the guys with no intentions LOL. You do definitely get some bizarre behavior. I remember chatting to a guy on POF last year. Right in the middle of us arranging this, he just stopped responding. We had agreed on the day 2 days from then , we agreed a time and then were sorting venue, and nothing. I logged back on later in the evening, he was online, but still no further response.
Honestly I had stuff like this so many times. I been on and off the online dating for a few years and its just such a lot of nonsense. What gets me is its always their idea and them initiating contact so why even bother. And they speak to you about the women not being serious too. And then pull this crap. Women responding with one word, or women wanting to meet after a 5 minute conversation, women sending provocative messages, women sending insulting messages, women never wanting to meet or waiting months before meeting.
These are just a few.. Many guys have told me they are turned off with the online dating because there are a lot of scam artists on there as well, women with fake profiles. Many times I have been in a conversation with someone and all of a sudden I realize I am not that interested in the guy anymore. Feelings change and sometimes you meet someone else with whom you just had a better spark with. Oh yes L I agree that some girls pull the funny stuff too absolutely.
But I can hand on heart say If I have no intentions of going on a date with someone i am in no way going to lead him on and certainly wouldnt be hanging around a dating website if i wasnt intending on going on a date. Im just trying to understand what they are getting out of it? I would never insult anyone or be rude or disrespectful. If I dont fancy a guy that messages me I just dont reply to them and thats easier. It seems like such a waste of time and effort you know to message, initiate the converstions, have a conversation and make plans to meet but without the intention to do so.
I guess its just for their ego but come on they must know themselves on some level how pointless all this stuff is. I guess the point is like I said sometimes I am talking to someone but just sort of lose interest and instead of coming straight out and telling him I pretty much just fade out.
I met a guy online. He was very good looking, intelligent, divorced, no kids.Stop Dating Women Who Are Time Wasters
We were talking online messaging for about a week. He gave me his number and said lets talk on the phone. The only thing I did not really take into consideration was the distance. He was 2 hours away from me.. Then I felt bad and I was like should I call him but for what?
The guy lives 2 hours away is this really going to turn into something?
I am not looking for a long distance relationship. SO my point is that sometimes we go in with one mindset then something clicks and we change our minds. However, there are success stories. I have met many nice guys online.