Some men would argue that dating a high maintenance woman is too much work. That the risk is not worth the reward. We high maintenance women take pride in our appearance and spend hours daily perfecting the look. To achieve this level of perfection, we need a solid two hours to prepare ourselves. Spending hundreds of dollars on clothes is nothing out of the ordinary. When you look good, you feel good and nothing feels better than walking around in a pair of killer heels with a wicked handbag to match. What is important is how good we look wearing them.
Yes, we think highly of ourselves but we also want to hear that you think highly of us too. Yes, we may enjoy the finer things in life a little more than your average Joe but we can also appreciate the little things too. We love to be spoiled. The world is our runway and we plan to kill it every time we step out onto it.
Why being 'high maintenance' in a relationship is not your problem
Another thing you should know about dating a high maintenance woman is that nothing will come between her and her nail appointment. Sorry but I have to get my nails done. Our esthetician is most definitely on speed dial, because you never know when your polish could chip or god forbid break a nail. The struggle is real, OK. They also know your profession, marital status, likes and dislikes, and any drama that is currently happening in your life. Underneath all the superficiality of it, we really do mean well and have a good heart.
We love immensely and in turn expect the same.
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Shutterstock, View Apart Some men would argue that dating a high maintenance woman is too much work. A man will speak of his 'high maintenance' ex-girlfriend, or specify 'low maintenance only' on his dating profile.
It speaks of machinery and equipment, inanimate objects that require servicing to remain in good working order. It implies an equation of input and output: Maintain the woman and receive the goodies.
Dating someone who is high maintenance
But relationships aren't about maintenance and servicing. A relationship is a connection between two people, who work to know, support and nurture each other on multiple levels. You don't 'maintain' a partner to keep her in good working order so you can drive her occasionally. You connect with a partner, seek emotional intimacy, communicate with her, nourish the relationship.
Well, 'high maintenance' is actually a code, referring to emotional demands. A high maintenance woman is considered to be emotionally needy, rather than financially or physically demanding.
By definition, a woman cannot be 'high maintenance' on her own. She becomes 'high maintenance' in the context of a relationship. But what does this mean, to be 'emotionally needy'? Doesn't every woman have emotional needs? And, just as significantly, doesn't every man?
Well yes, of course every woman has needs. But not every man wishes to meet them, and this is where 'high maintenance' comes into play. Men who use the term 'high maintenance' are not looking for emotional intimacy.
Men like Bill of Tinder don't wish to extend themselves to truly connect with another person. They are seeking a partner who will offer value to them sex, company, affection, status, an end to loneliness whilst putting in the minimal effort.How To Date A High Maintenance Woman
Men like Bill resent women for even having needs, because they don't see them as equal partners in a relationship. And men like Bill punish their partners for making emotional demands. They shut down discussions, accuse their partner of being 'dramatic', or tell them they're too 'emotional' when they express their feelings. They call women with needs 'high maintenance' and demanding, when really it is them who is not forthcoming.
This is because high drama can be a product of a relationship that does not acknowledge their needs. When we receive signals that it is not okay to make emotional demands or express vulnerability, we can feel anxious and unsafe and try desperately to connect. The 'drama' is a product of the instability of the relationship. Of course, not every man requires emotional intimacy, and that is fine. Not every woman requires emotional intimacy either.
But men like Bill of Tinder should own their own needs, rather than accuse women of being unreasonable in theirs. As I am not willing to achieve true emotional intimacy, you should be the same. Or perhaps they should just buy a sex robot online.