I am a single mother, my oldest child is 17 and he has a 19 year old friend. I have known this man for quite some time and over that time we have developed feelings for each other. I've been single for 8 years and my last relationship was very bad. At first we decided that we had to deny our feelings because we felt it would hurt my son. We were good friends anyway and we have spent a lot of platonic time together. Recently we started seeing each other in secret and it has been a really wonderful time, marred by my feelings of guilt over his friendship with my son.
The indecision made me really ill.
Dating my son's friend.
Actually I think it was my mum — who was then 85 — who put everything in perspective for Oli. I think Oli saw the truth of this; he began to be much calmer and more accepting after the conversation with his gran. My friends, meanwhile, thought I was in the grip of mid-life madness. My energy matches — or even surpasses — his.
And I only need to see the way he looks at me to know how much he loves me. The realisation dawned on me by degrees. Oli and I had been friends for six years when I first noticed Indie. My early encounters with her in the Pyrenees were just innocent fun. It was only when we got back to Totnes that I began to realise there was potential for a serious relationship.
The mother who fell in love with her son's best friend (and nearly destroyed her family)
And, every time he was upset, I felt terribly guilty. I think Oli feared his mum would get hurt. In more than a quarter of marriages in Britain the woman is the older partner. My friends have also been very mature.
Our physical relationship is wonderful; she has the body of a year-old. And we never run out of things to say to each other.
Now she and my step-dad, and my dad and his partner, all think Indie is the best daughter-in-law they could wish for. After the initial rocky year, Oli and I are best mates again. The three of them now all enjoy spending time together. Perhaps, selfishly, I was jealous. I worried that, as Mum and Theo grew closer, I was becoming marginalised, excluded by their love for each other.
As a result, for a time, relations between all of us broke down. Six months into the relationship, I was was still so angry I was barely speaking to mum — and I used to speak to her almost every day. Theo and mum came to see me and it was there that everything came to a head.
It was a defining moment. I suddenly felt guilty and brattish. By then my relationship with Mum and Theo was restored. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline. Monday, Feb 25th 5-Day Forecast.
India fell for her son's best friend Theo. Share this article Share. Oli initially resented his mum and Theo's relationship. Oli and Theo have known one another since they were at school. India and Theo have been together for seven years. Share or comment on this article: The mother who fell in love with her son's best friend and nearly destroyed her family.
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Rachel Weisz leads the worst-dressed stars on the red carpet at the Put on a print with punch!: We were good friends anyway and we have spent a lot of platonic time together. Recently we started seeing each other in secret and it has been a really wonderful time, marred by my feelings of guilt over his friendship with my son. We would like to be open about our relationship but I am so scared it will cause a bad rift in my relationship with my son.
We are very close but I don't think he or my other children see me as anything other than a mum and it would be difficult for them to accept me being with anyone let alone someone who is so young. I am falling in love with this guy and I know he feels the same way. I guess I'm just looking for any advice from others who have been here. Is it wrong for me to love someone who is friends with my son?
Is it wrong of us to be together? If it is a choice between my son or my lover it would always be my child, but will he hate me or accept us as a happy couple?
I don't want to give up my lover only to find later that my son would have been fine with it. Please be honest but somewhat gentle as I am feeling a little fragile right now. I think it is wrong.
My father started dating my friend who was a couple years older than me. It was weird to say the least! They actually made it work for about 7 years, got married and had a child together but in the end it didn't work and caused huge problems between my father and I, my friend and I, my father and everyone in the family etc. There are plenty of fish in the sea If you really think you are in love with this "man" than I would speak to your son about it before you go any further.
Dating my friends son
You really should have discussed it with him first because now it may make it worse that you have been seeing him behind his back. You also have to remember this guy is only 19 he's got a lot of learning and growing up to do before he can settle down especially with someone who is a lot older, mature then him and someone who has children. Just a thought - what happens if this boy decides he wants children sometime in the future?
Can you give that to him? Honestly, I think it's wrong too. This boy is not a fully grown man. He hasn't even matured completely yet. Honestly, I think you would be restricting his future by being with him. I know my words are harsh but if my honest opinion isn't what you would like to hear, then I don't believe this was the right place to post your question.
Id stop seeing him.
If this was a man seeing his daughters best friend you would be appalled! It's not worth the rift in your family and there are plenty of other men out there.
Would you like it if the situation was reversed? I personally think its wrong and hope in the future that I can find someone my own age I look at my sons friends now and don't think in 12 years time I would ever want to sleep with one of them they are like my own kids. If you must try with this teenager talk to your son first see how he would feel about the situation. And remember it doesn't matter how mature they might seem he is still just a kid with a lot of growing up to do and life lessons to learn.
End the relationship immediately, I guarantee it will ruin your relationship with your son, things like this tear families apart and there is no forgiving, you are his mother and the person he looks up to and trusts don't go dating HIS friend it is wrong on so many levels there are plenty more men out there good luck. I'm sorry but 19 is not a man. He's barely out of school and has little experience of the world or life.