There are certain boys who believe they have the freedom to walk in and out of your life at any point that they choose. They will text you, flirt with you, and make you feel like there is something special between you — only to walk away out of the blue. You are upset for a while. You overanalyze everything you said and did. You stay up late at night, wondering if they are happy.
What It Means When A Guy Is Zombie-ing You
Right when you are about to get over them. They will say hey as if nothing ever happened. They will play it cool and act like nothing weird is going on. Even if you question them about where the hell they disappeared to, they will come up with bullshit excuses about how they were too busy or how they were going through a lot or how their phone has been acting up.
They will do whatever they can to reel you back in, to make you feel the same way you used to feel about them. This technique, being zombied, can be even worse than being ghosted, because you never have the chance to get over the person.
And every time you fall for them again, they pull their disappearing act again. They make it impossible to get over them — and impossible to get with them. They make your life a living hell.
Of course, you should never put up with this kind of behavior. You should never tolerate someone who treats you as a second choice. Someone who thinks that they can have your attention whenever they want it and then can abandon you whenever they stop wanting it. Holly is the author of Severe d: A Creepy Poetry Collection.
You also know how to fail with grace. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.
You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. After all, you're not in a committed relationship that much should be clear , so you might not be able to tell if someone is "taking it slow" or benching you.
The best case scenario is the person likes you, but for whatever reason more seriously involved with someone else, has commitment issues wants to keep you at arm's length. Worst case scenario is they're using you -- for an ego boost, a convenient hookup, or some other benefit they feel you provide. Your best course of action in this situation depends on what you want.
If you are happy with having an occasional, casual relationship with this person and they're also on your bench, stick with it as long as it works for you.
However, if you are hoping that this person will finally come to their senses and want to enter into a committed relationship with you, you have to find the strength to walk away. Hold out for the person who sees you for the A-team player that you are. Here's the first documented definition I could find: I would add to that it doesn't have to be a text or social media contact -- that's the easiest way to dip a toe in the water, but some people go full-blown -- a phone call, an old-school letter, or showing up in person somewhere you know they'll be.
The point is -- a person from your past rises from the metaphorical dead and wants back in your life. There's no one explanation for zombieing. The zombie might want a hookup and they think you'd be game my best friend calls this "reheating old soup". It could be the person toying with your emotions, or it could be them genuinely missing you and wanting you back.
People do change, though change happens in unpredictable ways. I know I've blown a few relationships that I later regretted messing up.
If that regret becomes too much to live with, I don't begrudge anyone trying to rekindle an old flame. This all depends on the quality of the contact and the initial relationship. Random "hi" text messages or a stray like on Instagram out-of-the-blue feel lame because they are -- they don't honor the emotional toll the former relationship or the zombie's initial disappearance took on you.
Ask yourself -- was this relationship one that I would want to re-live? If it was dysfunctional the first time around, chances are it will be again. If someone bravely reaches out to you with an explanation of their absence and expresses a desire to see or speak to you, that's a different story.
If you are available and intrigued, see where it could lead.
Timing is everything and it could be that the time to rekindle is now. Francesca is a love and lifestyle coach for singles. Get more dating advice, and even book a free session at francescahogi. Communities HuffPost Personal Videos.
Ghosting What is it? It's the cowardly way out, and the "zombie" owes it to you to be brave.KPOP Dating Game - ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE version