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I am an introvert by nature and I'm very shy. I'm not the most attractive guy out there, but I do have a good heart and would like to be with someone. I'm quite straight laced and I'm not the party type. I consider myself down-to-earth, polite, kind, considerate, intelligent, tenderhearted, respectful, responsible and genuinely sensitive.

I'm not interested in one-night stands or cheap hookups. I value committed, authentic romantic relationships. I've only known heartbreak when it comes to women. I've really liked several girls over the years and ended up heartbroken either because they didn't feel the same way, they already had boyfriends or I asked them out and they rejected me.

There are times where I feel that I cannot relate to most people my age because I just have not had the same experiences as them. I dread conversations about sex or relationships with my friends. It really does makes you feel less of a man. I'm also extremely worried that because I have literally no intimate experience whatsoever with anyone, girls will not want to get involved with me because of it.

I feel like most girls wouldn't want to be with a man that doesn't have any romantic experience at the age of However it wasn't until I was 20 until I fell in love and who I married for 25 years when I was 21, and she was my first and only love in my life, but we aren't still together, but that's not the point here for your post.

What you are going through is very sad, I know, it was frustrating and felt left out, and some of your peers may suggest going online for a dating service, but these lead you on and only cost money and then more money as you get hooked on the dating site promising you the world, but then nothing. When you see and then meet someone just ask them about their life, what they do and what they like to do, this will then let them know that you are interested in what they do, so what if it's not what you like, because down the track you may learn that you will eventually like it doing it.

If you dominate what you like first of all then that's a turn off straight away, and make yourself presentable, not that I'm saying you don't already. Just remember that your mates will exaggerate on what they say about their relationships, because if by chance you asked their partner about what they said I.

I grew up in a rural area where the local guys used to have competitions to see how many females they could "have" in a weekend and would mark their conquests with a notch on their steering wheels or dashboard! I was determined to not be a part of this culture and moved out of the town, but not before I was almost taken advantage of by three of these guys while I was out walking.

My sister was not so lucky and was raped in bed while being the guest of one of these guys mothers. So what kind of guy would I have preferred to have known?

I'm not interested in one-night stands or cheap hook-ups. Like Geoff mentioned, don't worry about what your mates say, do they respect women, are they exaggerating a little, who knows. He also gave you some good tips on how to communicate with people in general. Ask them about themselves, that helps get the conversation going. Hi Doolhof and Geoff, thank you for your replies.

My opportunities to meet women have been quite limited. I live in a rural mining town in QLD. Like most mining towns pretty much the whole social scene revolves around drinking alcohol and partying on the weekend. Last year I met a girl whom I really liked a lot. We became good friends and I really wanted get to know her better as a person. I had high hopes that she really liked me too and I had plans to muster up the courage and ask her on a date.

Just as I was about to do that she met someone else and refuses to talk to me now and treats me like I don't exist, which really hurt me a lot. Why that is I have no idea. When I would get close to a girl and express my feelings I was always met with rejection with the same old line: This whole thing has battered my self-esteem.

Apart from work, I rarely leave the house and I just don't have the passion for life I once had. I'm convinced no girl would possibly want to be with me, so why put myself out there and risk getting hurt like I have time after time. Plus, it's safe to say that most women won't want anything to do with a guy who hasn't even been kissed at the age of I'm so sorry I seem to have been unaware you had made a reply!

I am so very sorry for the lack of communication! I haven't been feeling myself lately due to some unwanted side effects with medication and then needing to come off them.

Anyway, besides all of that, how are you getting on? Have you managed to get out of your home recently to join in some social events? Do you have any hobbies or interests that you could become involved in? Are there groups in town you might like to join? Are there nice restaurants about the place?

Places to go for a picnic or a walk? Can you invite a small group of people to join you in some kind of activity you would enjoy? Have you tried dating sites at all? I have no idea at all about them either, but all the ads on t. Having people not answer you back here on this forum can't be helping you feel good about yourself either, so I am very sorry about that! Dude, you are not alone! I'm a year older than you and have had next to no action either!

Part of that was because I only really discovered my sexuality a few years ago little slow on the uptake but still -- when it comes to intimacy I'm a complete novice! And that weighed on me for a loooong time. But you know what? It's not a big deal. Life works in mysterious ways All these guys you've referenced, who sleep around with countless women? Prob not gonna ever find that someone special! I have friends like that, who focus so heavily on the number of girls they can pull - and I think to myself, Are they happy though?

You seem like a really decent, intelligent dude. Learn to love yourself! Be comfortable in your own skin. Soon you might start radiating confidence! Humour yourself, you might be surprised by what happens. My parents met when they were in their late twenties, and neither of them had had a relationship before. And they're still the happiest couple I know. Focus on yourself, your interests and your goals, and trust that the other side of things will work itself out ;.

What you wrote caught my attention and since I'm older, allow me to share some advise into the issues from my life experiences. I am 56, single, lived on my own all my life, have no children and never been married, so I do understand what you are feeling. First of all, can I please advise you not to try any of those internet dating sites.

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So forget internet dating for now. It's not the way to go and it will only lower your self esteem from being rejected and that's not what you want at this stage. Have you tried joining a social group? Depending on where you live, most areas will have a social groups which consist of a vast range of activities that attract singles of all ages. Once you get involved, you will meet people and the idea is to build up a social network of friends, whether it be male or female friends, it doesn't matter.

Once you get to know people you get to meet and go out with other people from outside the social group. If you meet a girl that your not interested in, just be friends and you will meet more people from having friends. Go out to dinners. Enrol in a cooking class. These friends will not pre-judge you simply because you've never been in a relationship.

Hi SC, I wish I could offer some helpful advice but unfortunately I'm in much the same boat as you, with many of the same fears regarding lack of relationship experience - only I'm five years older. Well done on having the courage to put yourself out there and approach women that you are interested in; I wish I could say the same for myself! I'd have to agree with Peter regarding online dating. Competition is fierce and you'll more than likely hurt your self-esteem by partaking in it.

Perhaps the more serious sites like eHarmony might be better I haven't tried it , but I can say from experience that services like Oasis, PoF and Tinder should probably be avoided. If you do want to try one of these, then don't let the lack of responses from women get to you. Please don't think you are a loser mate, not at all, it sucks that you live in such a rural area to but try some cafes and stuff maybe try google and see if there is any social groups: I'm 26 so we are around the same age and I think it's really cool to know there is someone else out there that isn't into hook ups and that.

I was brought up listening to the "smiths" and all that music that resembled what its like to be a young person and I know how heart wrenching and lonely it is. I started working in a supermarket which is a pretty crappy place to work but had really good social aspect. I would like maybe not really get into it at first but it goes like this: Also clubs like gym classes you dont have to talk to anyone but you become a regular you talk to someone sometimes then more frequent I had a friend that met there partner playing online games though gaming chics arent people you meet online all the time.

Hi everyone, thanks for your replies and input. I really appreciate it. I would have replied to this post earlier but life has gotten in the way. Living in a remote mining town there are very little opportunities to really get out and about apart from bars and clubs. However the ratio from men to women is around 10 men to 1 woman so the amount of women I have to meet is quite limited single that is.

I plan to move sometime next year. The thing is I'm just too shy and awkward to approach women. It's just too hard.

I have tried and every time have failed miserably and learned nothing from it. I can't flirt or chat up woman. I just don't have the confidence to do it. A few weeks ago I went through a really dark period where I considered going to an escort to loose my virginity because I was just so down in the dumps and frustrated about my situation and yearned to experience intimacy and be loved.

I told a good friend about my intentions and he talked me out of it. He made me realize a few things, put things in perspective and put my mind at ease. My feelings about my situation are a little better than they used to be but I still have days where I get very upset and down on myself about it all.

I find myself in a Catch, I'm depressed because I'm a virgin and I've never had a girlfriend, and a virgin who has never had a girlfriend because I am depressed.

Seeing my friends with their girlfriends kills me sometimes. I often think "Why can't I have someone in my life?

Then I have days where I think I should just give up on women and go join the priesthood and live the rest of my life in celibacy. It must be really tough being in an area where there just aren't the women to meet in the first place. Maybe if you do move then your will have different opportunities to meet women.

It is wonderful you were able to share how you felt with your friend. He obviously gave you some wise words. Yes, it may have been a wonderful experience for you, but I don't think you have felt any sensation of LOVE that was real from the lady. There are those of us who are married and no longer have sex for one reason or another. That is tough as well. It must be tough seeing your friends with their girlfriends. Do you find it hard to chat with these women as well? Maybe you could try and have conversations with them and see how you go.

It might help to build up your confidence. I am a similar aged female, with some sexual experiance, but I wouldn't consider a guys sexual experiences before dating them. I think for most girls interested in long term relationships at our age I have never asked about someone's experiance before dating them, or even going further, it would only come up as part of a safe sex talk or conversation about ex's.

I would suggest that it is hard for lots of people to find partners, especially shift workers and people who don't like to drink to socialise. Keep looking, female friends can help build confidence and introduce you to more woman as well, and taking it slow is great too!

Hi I have had the same experiences at you did and it really is a place that you don't want to be. If you have a job where you can talk to girls that helps. If you don't not to worry having a girl as a friend is a great way to hook up because they might help you with it, it's as if she was like your best mate and he helps you out.

Think positive and say to yourself it doesn't matter if this girl doesn't like you I'll try the next girl, thinking of asking multiple women too is a good idea also.

Sex is not the most important thing in the world if she is experienced at sex she will look after you so finding woman with experience is great also.

I fully relate to what your going through, t I understand that your feeling highly upset and tormented about your situation, depressed and broken- its a horrible reality for you to live with. In my opinion being super nice and being mr nice to women does not tend to spark romantic interest. The one tip I have heard consistently from guys I know that have had a fair bit of success with women is: Of course you may say that's impossible because of your life experience, you have to sort of talk yourself up a bit in your mind, and hide any massive insecurities that you may have: You can fall into the trap of caring TOO MUCH about every women you meet thinks about you, worrying too much about if you embarrass yourself or make a mistake, you need to think, "I am a good guy, if any given woman doesn't like me , not my problem".

Also as people have mentioned, it is important that you present yourself the best you can, and are clean, well groomed etc. Preferably your house or where you live should be be clean and well presented as well. Research more on this, step out of your comfort zone, makes changes, move to another area, whatever it takes.

This is obviously important to you, so I hope you can get up and take action, don't let another 5 years slip you bye! Let me ask you a question If you wanted to be a dentist, what would you do? If you wanted to have the self confidence to go out there and meet someone special, have a lovely evening, maybe get romantic?

It's a no-brainer, isn't it?

You would open up Mr Google and find out how and where to go to learn how to do it, right? There are people out there who can teach you and me to do anything! To fly a helicopter or to attract the attention of the fairer sex. Type in something like "How to become a chick magnet" or "How to be smooth and be swamped by young women".

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1 comments

  1. Voodoohn

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