I sure hope so. We were friends for many years before we dated and subsequently married. She has always been very matter of fact. She doesn't dwell on things she has no control over. She is direct and to the point on most things in life. She told me an amusing story of a ex-boyfriend of hers who became visibly upset when he asked her opinion on the meaning of life and she responded that it didn't matter.
If he's wiling to uproot his whole life for you I'd say he's willing to work on easier thinks too it just might take a little coaxing. Keep in mind that not everyone is as ambitious as you. That's not his fault and it's something you'll have to learn to live with.
At some point you might need to put your food down and be his mom about it. It sucks I know but some of us men need to be treated like boys once in a while.
This really resonated with how I have been feeling all these years. Every time I needed him to make a decision even simple ones like getting new shoes because the soles are falling apart I am not one to mommy but I feel like at times, nothing will be accomplished unless I end up doing it all myself. I have asked him if he would move with me and received a "will need to think about adjusting my surroundings to adapt in a new environment, which may take years" type of response.
If you don't mind me asking, what aspects of your SO made you realize that living without her would be worse?
I have been thinking about "separating" for a while to get another perspective in figuring this out. Well I don't often find someone who will blindly accept me for who I am like she does. I think it would have been a shame to lose my best friend over something so small. You'll really need to judge if he feels the same for you. If he does, moving shouldn't be something he has to think about. He should be willing to do whatever nesseccary to stay by your side.
It's also totally ok to walk away if you feel he's going to drag you down. I learned long ago that love isn't always enough. With that said I think you might need to be overly blunt with him. Tell him your not mad but you really need to have a legit conversation with him. If he can't grow up and give you answers your gonna have to decide then where you see yourself in a few years with him. Thank you for your insights. My partner blindly accepts me for who I am as well. This has been one major aspect in staying together for so long.
Often enough, I scare many men away due to my intensity and being direct in an emotionless manner which can be off-putting. The fact that he has stayed around for so long and can cope with this has certainly earned my devotion.
In your experience, what is your outlook on this situation? Want to add to the discussion? I think you can already trust your gut on this one. It's clearly up to you but why deal with the stress?
Istj and intj dating
He does feel it and he shows it, so it shouldn't matter. I had a hard time understanding her since she was so very different from me - moody, withdrawn and emotionally intense but I made an effort since I admired how intelligent she was.
And then, one day, she dropped out of uni and no one knew. I thought she didn't tell me because she didn't care and on reflection, I felt like I was the one carrying forward our relationship. I felt hurt and decided to cut all contact with her.
Half a year later, she got a hold of me and told me she missed me. I suppose emotional expression doesn't come naturally to her even though she feels deeply.
I reconnected with her and we've been friends since. I do find people of the INTJ temperament hard to get along with but that's only because of my own emotional immaturity. They are great people and relationships with them are effortless. One of my best friends not this girl, another friend is an INTJ and I rarely ever get a chance to speak with him - however, we are still very close: I only know these two, so I can't help much more.
Thank you for your input.
I think I'm just still trying to figure him out! Blue Ribbon thanked this post. Not necessarily, but he may have allowed past emotional trauma to stunt his ability to be intimate. Counseling is in order, but whether or not he is open to the idea will influence his success in dealing with the issue.Key Differences Between ISTJ and INTJ Personality Type
You should have posted this in the INTJ forum. We are very straightforward but not mean when it comes to explaining ourselves We just have trouble with words especially feelings word. I admit a lot of the times I say I love you to someone is because it seems like I should. Not that I don't love the person - I wouldn't say it in the first place if it were insincere.
The biggest compliment you can get from us is the statement that are improving our lives.
We are about efficiency and optimization at our core. The fact that you provide supplementary improvement to his life speaks volumes. Also we tend to be extremely future oriented so if you're in his future picture, that's a positive note. Have you discussed this with him? We tend to live inside our own heads and are just honestly very unaware sometimes of the minutia of things around us. For people that tend to avoid reading manuals, we could use a manual about people.
Tell him straightforward, omit the emotional aspect, spell out what you want, and accept that he might need to process it. On matters that are not our wheelhouse it helps to be very explicit with us.
The ISTJ Romantic Relationships
Using MBTI to calculate if someone is the right one for you sounds kind of I don't know, anyone could be the right one as long as the two persons: That's how I see it anyway. Will you be able to accept him as he is? Will he be able to open up with time?
MBTI won't answer these questions, life will. As stated before, it may be more efficient to discuss this with him. And also, understand why it bothers you so much But if I had to only answer the first question "Are we doomed?
Well, from what I've read: Last edited by Cobble; at Any type can work together perfectly.