As I write this article, I am thinking of a young lady in her late teens or early twenties. However, the points that I make are appropriate at least in principle for any age lady. Some of the most serious dating problems occur in elderly widows who are dating for the first time in many decades. And their mistakes are no less hurtful than young ladies in their twenties. Dating is a factor of circumstances, not of age. Who you spend the rest of your life with is a huge decision. Make a wrong decision and you may live the rest of your life in misery, lonely, hurt or even alone.
Before you walk down the aisle, answer the following questionnaire: Does my Dad approve of my boyfriend? If your Dad does not approve of your boyfriend, it is very likely he knows something that you do not. Of course there are fathers that are plain unreasonable and crazy. We are not talking about that kind. Fathers have a six sense for future sons-in-law.
They cannot guarantee that an apple will taste good but they know a rotten one when they see one. No one is more concerned for your welfare than your Dad. Dads can usually spot a phony baloney before he is even out the car door. Dad is not in love with your boyfriend. He can clearly evaluate him without love and passion interfering with his thought processes.
Does my Mom approve of my boyfriend? Your Mom knows you better than any person alive.
She is a woman. No one understands another woman like a woman. And no one can understand more than a mother. She knows the kind of man that will make you happy.
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Of course, like fathers, there are also mothers with unreasonable demands and crazy attitudes. We are not talking about those. Do your closest friends like your boyfriend? If they do not like your boyfriend or your boyfriend do not like your friends, then that should be a warning sign to you. Your friends like you because of who you are.
And you like your friends for who they are. You have that in common. A boy who loves his girl friend is only interested in her happiness. Her friends are part of her happiness picture. Does your boyfriend have any friends? If he hardly has any friends, beware. Does your boyfriend add to your life? Does he add to your enjoyment of life or does he take away from it? Does he make you feel better about yourself or does he make you feel used and hurt?
Does he give to you with a cheerful heart or repeatedly take from you?
Does he add to your reputation, or does he tarnish your reputation and make you look small. If a young man gives to you cheerfully, that is a sign of love.
If he takes from you repeatedly, that is a sign of lust. If he is taking from you while you are dating for all kinds of supposedly legitimate reasons, it is likely that he will only get worse if you get married.
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My friend and I just want to change this situation, to the better. It's a question that is regularly asked, but not always accurately answered.