We analyzed over , first contacts on our dating site, OkCupid. Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically significant. Online dating advice at its best. Netspeak, bad grammar, and bad spelling are huge turn-offs. These all make a terrible first impression. In fact, if you count hit and we do!
Checkout Soulmates advice on how to write your first message. First impressions are everything so make sure you nail your online dating message.
Your mother always told you so and you never really believed it too much, but the fact is that first impressions really count. Online dating gives you a bit of an advantage in that you can strategically plan that first message so it hits home with a bit of a punch. Unlike an everyday face to face meeting where the words just tumble from your mouth in no apparent order.
So why is it that so many guys and girls yes girls too fail miserably in avoiding the move from the Inbox to the trash can? Extensive research into online dating statistics show that there are some set rules that we all need to follow. Netspeak is the main culprit when it comes to unsuccessful first mails. The words if you can call them that ur, r, u, ya, cant, hit, realy, luv, and wat, are the top nine worst words to use in an opening message.
11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses
Mails that contain these words will get practically no replies proving that intelligence or maybe just good grammar is an attractive trait in both sexes. Surprisingly, though, ha ha and lol were considered ok to use. Perhaps this is because using both these terms shows a sense of humour, another trait many seek in a partner.
But hehe , while still effective tends to sound a bit like a supervillain. Now it might seem strange to say that after we just told you to use correct grammar, but messages that start off with Hello or Hi come across as run of the mill and perhaps a bit boring. So while you should avoid using netspeak too much, using slang or an unusual greeting is considered a great move. You could always spruce it up a bit and go with a foreign greeting, but make sure you know what it means otherwise you could come off looking like a bit of a Del boy.
While everybody enjoys compliments on their looks, focusing too much on physical looks seems to imply shallowness.
Dating site first message tips
Messages using words like beautiful and sexy will more often than not end up getting deleted immediately. How to Write the First Message or Email. How important is it to write a good online dating first email? As I discuss in my free online dating guide , successful online dating relies in part on making great first impressions.
Whether the first impression is in the photos you select for your profile, how you describe yourself, or the first email you write, taking time to make the best first impression is important. For this discussion email refers to your first message in online dating. This will include whatever method the service you are using allows you to write a message to another member. It is also worth noting that most often discuss this from the point of view of a man contacting a woman, since that was my experience, but my hope is that the thoughts here are helpful to anyone.
This discussion is primarily for sites such as Match.
This advice may still be helpful for sites such as eHarmony or Chemistry. Writing the online dating first email is the area where I made the biggest mistakes for the longest period of time when I was dating online. I would write overly long and, in my head, witty emails that very rarely received responses. I thought I was making conversation but all I was making was a girl scared.
I really did mean well. My rule here is very simple: Give anything longer than three sentences a good, hard look before sending. With online dating, the first message can make or break your chances of a successful first date.
Based on my experience, I think the above are good guidelines to improve your odds of getting the conversation going. So what do you include in this short, introductory email? One optional approach to emailing that I recommend is something I learned worked well: For example, I enjoy an occasional day walking around a big city.
Saying that I love walking through the city is a stretch but I would want to add some strength to my statement. Most emotion is lost in online communication and anyone who has used a: To avoid this, I would try to show my true level of interest by exaggerating it.
Even though sometimes I felt like I was going over the top, I still saw a lot of success going with this type of emphasis. Giving advice on writing a better first message in online dating is good, but I think examples make it better.
The next two are special cases where asking the girl out occurs in the first email. In my experience with online dating, first messages where I asked the girl out were uncommon for me but I felt that in both the second and third first email example, it was the best option based off of the profile.
These are just examples and ideas on writing a first email and you should go with what your comfortable with. This young lady devoted half of her profile to talking, in some fashion, about being social. This seems like one of the better points of focus when writing the email:. I love being sociable too and liked what I was seeing in your profile.Online Dating Tips for Men: How to write your first message to girls.
Have you ever gone swing dancing? My approach here is to be positive but brief. The goal here is to get her interest, have her look at my profile and if she likes what she sees, move forward.