I like this man very much, I enjoy his company and he is incredibly kind. I am fine having dates that are economical and have let him know this. A lot of guys fall into the trap of measuring their self-worth based upon how much money they make, what kind of job they have and their overall financial situation. There have been times that I had been so dissatisfied with my work situation that just thinking about my work made me feel sick to my stomach. When I feel so overwhelmed and suffocated by my own problems I go completely cold. But again, this was MY problem.
I work every day. One full-time office job with a really good company but below average salary and I work on the weekends for minimum wage. I prefer a quite night at home alone or with friends. None of this sounds attractive for a man in my opinion. Guys, am I a loss cause? Would you even bother dating me, after knowing how much I struggle? Why is feminism on my mind so much recently? Feminism; friend or foe?
Does West need feminism regardless of the strong law? Financial inadequacy is one of the biggest reasons men will not get into relationships, marry, and have a family. They simply cannot afford it. This is the way it is. Your email address will not be published. Sign me up for the newsletter! Username or Email Address.
Dating financially unstable man
Don't have an account? Psychology Articles Quizzes Shop. Create Search Search for: Follow us facebook twitter googleplus instagram tumblr youtube. Before we even met, he had lost a job and had to temporarily move in with his dad at He also lived 2 hours from me but was always happy to come down here to spend time with me once a week. He even wants to still see me from time to time. He wants me to leave him due to his financial problems and told me that he is not a good guy for me.
He said he needs time and space. I have no idea what to do. I told him i was going on vacation and i did, but when i came back from vacation he was working at my job! We are both going through financial hardship and I love him to death and would eventually like more out of the relationship. We are both in this way because he is helping me struggle my way through nursing school. But the hardship is making him depressed. I keep giving him outs so he can have his life back and all he says is you are a part of my life and this struggle is for our future.
Which is even more confusing. Because I know it is because of this struggle that he is not pursuing anything with me, which to me is ruining the future for us because I feel sometimes he resents me. Mitch Vandell - Poor-Sucker Syndrome. Men are constantly fed with impressions that lure them into thinking that self-sabotaging behaviors will reward them and should be pursued. After reading your response above regarding men in a financial crisis.
I am in a very similar situation. I have been dating this guy for 2 years. Things were going pretty good up until a few weeks ago when he suggested that we be friends. We are older 59 and 61 yrs old and he contracts himself out with his trucking business semi.
Now he is behind in all of his bills including rent. Just trying to give him his space and keeping myself busy.Can Women Date Broke Guys?
He has still to recover. He has lost many clients and income. He may still lose his home which has been in the balance for 2 years. He has borrowed to pay bills. I met him before these tragedies and we were so close to a loving committed relationship and life was great. He drifts in and out of my life since. And I tell him I will. But it is so hard to watch him struggle and not know what to do to support him.
And what to do when he distances himself like he has just recently. What do I do that is loving and supportive then??? How do I help??? We had the best time until one day he accused me semi-jokingly of having his balls in my handbag after he made me breakfast one morning. He said he felt emasculated by making me pancakes! The very next day I saw him, and he was a completely different person. All the fun and smiles were gone, and things have not been the same since 6 weeks now.
He invited me to his boat 2 weeks ago and spent the whole time discussing the new unsavory job and the job search with little emotion. I so wish there was something I could do to help — he is so fantastic. I am moving on, but do continue to hope that things improve and that he might come back to me one day. A whole lifetime has probably passed since your posting, but I feel the same. My guy was making over , when I met him in in his own business.
By his business took a sudden turn and he lost clients. Obama economy hit him and his clients. He was able to hang on for a while but the last 2 years he could not. We were developing a wonderful relationship and then then economy tanked.
But I can relate to your post. The smiles are gone, the frequent phone calls are gone. So how do we help and support these men? We gals really need to know, this is not a unique situation. Please write the column on relationship limbo.
Is it the same for guys or usually just a girl problem? I can very well relate to you…the job hunting, and all sorts of financial assistance just to help him get through those difficult times. He has unstable work, and last month, just before losing his job, he broke up with me.
I told him ill be giving him space, since that is what he wanted in the first place. We had limited contact ever since, and when we talk, he updates me about his job hunting ventures. I can see his restlessness to make himself better, but his coldness and uncaring ways pushes me away from him all the more.
My friend is dating a older man that's not financially stable
Just last week, he expressed his intention to start a small business with me—with me funding it. He on the other hand will manage the business. But with the current state of mind, i am not sure if this will work. I was full of bitterness when he offered this and told him that i could easily get another partner for the business venture without enduring the emotional pain i could experience when he goes to depression again.
I know you want to help, but men prefer to solve things on their own. Many of them shut down during the process. His actions are not so much a reflection of how he feels about you but more about how he feels about his situation.
I t may hurt but who knows what the future holds.
Your love will be returned when the right person reflects your light. What do you need, what do you want? JJJ, you are very right, it is easy to give and give and put the other person first. But like AJ said, I help emasculates him. I know he can feel that I care for him. I am sooooo tempted to contact him, but I guess I should wait for him to contact me… Right? Take care of YOU! Jasmine, You need to leave him alone, give him space and let him solve his problem on his own.
Your offers are emasculating him. Things were great in the beginning, we would always go out on dates, talk on the phone. In the 2nd or 3rd month of seeing him, he lost his job. He was really upset about this because he has never not had a job before. So right now he has zero income. Even after losing his job we were still good.