There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your friend is gay. There are some important things that you have to understand about this situation before going forward, however. Someone's sexuality is highly complex and highly private, and you may be starting more problems than you solve by trying to find out. To create this article, 48 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. This article has over 1,, views, and 13 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status.
You should also work your way up to this serious conversation by talking about other deep matters first. It's important to make him feel comfortable and set the expectation that you two can share deep, personal feelings with each other.
For example, talk about your family problems or maybe politics and your concerns for the future. Show him you're okay with your friends being gay. Subtly bring up subjects that show him that you're okay with your friends being gay and that he doesn't need to hide his nature around you.
You can talk about another friend that is gay or even just about someone hypothetically coming out if you don't know someone who's gay. For example, you can say something like "I really admire people like Neil Patrick Harris. He does a great job of showing all those conservative people that there's more to gay people than all those offensive stereotypes. And he's clearly so happy now. I wish everyone felt like they could live as out and proud as he does. Talk about other friends coming out.
You can also talk about the experience that other people had with coming out. Show him that you're concerned that those same negative effects might plague him. This can show him that you're ready to be a support network if he needs one.
Say something like, "Before Andie came out I was so worried about her. She seemed to be so unhappy And then everyone was so mean to her after she did. I don't want anyone to have to go through that. Give him the opportunity to tell you. Now that you've set the precedent and shown him that you are someone safe and accepting to talk to, give him the time and opportunity to tell you.
He might not tell you in that conversation. He might not even tell you that week. But if he is gay, he will probably tell you once he's comfortable and feels like he really trusts you. It is important to maintain an environment of trust if you want him to tell you.
Don't spread any gossip about anybody, since spilling any kind of secret just tells him that you might spill his. Of course, if he doesn't say anything or if you would rather not make any assumptions based on his behavior, just ask him. It's okay to ask. This is really the best way to find out if someone is gay and much less offensive than making assumptions about them. It may feel awkward, but chances are, if you are trusted, this friend will tell you the truth.
Say something like, "You know you're stuck with me as a friend no matter what, but I just have to ask because I don't want to make assumptions and come to the wrong conclusions: Legally Blonde can solve many things when you use it in the correct way. Is it possible that my friend is gay and lying to me about being straight?Gay Dating Tips
You may want to consider why he is lying or making up excuses. He might be afraid of how you will treat him if he admits to being gay, or he may just not be ready to be 'out' yet. For some gay people, it is very difficult to accept one's own sexuality, especially if they grew up being told that it's terrible to be gay, and even if other people are accepting they are still ashamed to admit it because of this.
It's also possible that he just isn't gay and you are mistaken. Either way, it's probably annoying him if you keep asking or insisting that he's gay; I would suggest that you leave it alone.
Not Helpful 2 Helpful Because that is what friends do. It does not at all mean that he's gay. And so what if he is? Gay guys need friends, too. Not Helpful 8 Helpful Not Helpful 3 Helpful How can women get married have children then change sexual orientation?
There are two ways this can happen. Some women and men have been gay or bisexual, etc. For example, they assume that it is normal to not be very attracted to their partner.
Then, as they get older and get to know themselves better, they realize the truth. But for other people, sometimes one's sexuality just changes over time. Not Helpful 0 Helpful If you are not interested in sports or outdoorsy and most of the people you know are girls, does that make you gay? The only thing that makes you gay is being attracted to people of the same gender. Not Helpful 25 Helpful He could be, but there are a lot more straight people who hate gays than there are closeted gay people who hate gays.
Not Helpful 5 Helpful My son has started bringing his pal home to "crash" at our house. This is fine, and he was to sleep in the spare room. I've noticed they have both been sleeping in my son's room. Should I ask if they're gay? Don't ask, and try not to assume. Just give him space. If your son is gay, hopefully he will tell you in his own time. Not Helpful 13 Helpful My "friend" doesn't show match the typical gay stereotypes, however I have always thought he might be gay.
You can have a long-term, committed, and loving relationship if that is what you truly desire. As with all relationships, it will take time, mutual respect, and ongoing effort. It is important to clarify what type of relationship you want to have. Simply saying that you are boyfriends may not be enough. You should talk about whether or not your relationship is monogamous and whether or not you both see a future together. Things might be a little awkward but that is fine.
If he was offended, he will get over it eventually. If he doesn't, don''t waste your time worrying about him.
Not Helpful 1 Helpful What if a guy doesn't want to talk to me anymore after telling him how I feel? You just have to live with it. People come and go, and if he doesn't accept your feelings, he shouldn't be your partner or friend anyway.
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Not Helpful 3 Helpful What should I do if he went away after I told him my feelings, and never talked to me again? There's two things that could mean. He could actually be considering a relationship with you and needs time to contemplate it. It could also mean that he is not interested in you. As confusing as it is, you may have to try and move on.
Contact him if you can, and carry out a normal, friendly conversation. If it feels slightly awkward, walk away. Not Helpful 8 Helpful Should I tell my best friend I'm gay? I already told him that I might be gay. It is up to you if you are ready to tell him. Just remember, if he is really your friend he won't care. Not Helpful 0 Helpful Am I ready for a relationship if I have social anxiety? I'm scared to talk to anyone, let alone my crush, and I end up getting really awkward and uncomfortable around people, especially people I like.
Everybody has their own issues to manage. However, you would be best served by seeking help with your social anxiety so you can be the best version of yourself. I like someone online, he knows how I feel and went away for a little while, but he's back now, does this mean he likes me now?
Maybe, but the only way to know for sure is to talk to him. He may have had secret feelings for you and just figured it out.
Not Helpful 0 Helpful 9. What should I do if I can't find out if a guy likes me because does not talk to me often? Talk to the person more.
If he doesn't talk back to you or doesn't do it with much effort, then he probably does not like you. If he responds by talking more and you become closer friends, you can ask him about his feelings toward you. Not Helpful 4 Helpful Start by spending time in places where he is.
Try befriending his friends--if you are part of his group you will gain more exposure to him. The conversation should come naturally after that. Not Helpful 5 Helpful Try online methods first if you are unwilling to come out to the public yet.
Or, if you have good friends you trust, ask for their support. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Already answered Not a question Bad question Other. Tips Avoid trying to have a relationship with someone who is not interested in a same sex relationship.
Pay attention to body language and cues that people use to demonstrate if they are interested or uninterested, such as eye contact, compliments, or romantic gestures. If he says no, he does not want to be your boyfriend, he may still want to be your friend. Avoid doing anything that may cause you or your desired boyfriend to feel publically humiliated. This can usually be achieved by being discreet. Not Helpful 4 Helpful Talk to your partner.
Ask her if she is ready to kiss and tell her you'd like to kiss her, then take it from there. I've fallen in love with my teacher who is 9 years than I am. It's illegal for your teacher to have a relationship with you -- pursuing anything could lead to a lot of trouble for both of you. Not Helpful 1 Helpful I have a girlfriend and I'm not the "leader". What do I do if I want to kiss her, hold hands, cuddle, etc.? There shouldn't be any "leader" in a relationship. If she truly loves you, she will accept your affection.
Feel free to give it whenever you like, or ask if it would be okay if you're not sure. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Already answered Not a question Bad question Other. Tips Being honest and loving and caring is very important to a relationship. As in any relationship, considering your partner's needs and wants before your own, even if not every time, can really let him or her know how valued and loved he or she is. Do something to make life wonderful for your partner, each and every day.
Come out , if possible. Living out can help you and your partner to be accepted as a true family unit, and can really ease things if one of you becomes ill or injured; it can also be inspiring and helpful to a younger family member or friend struggling with issues of their own sexuality.
Plus, living openly takes the burden of secrecy off your relationship - relationships are hard enough without adding additional baggage. Go to a LGBT group for latest info. Warnings In some societies, be prepared to encounter some social tensions and conflicting views. Don't allow people blinded by prejudice to get you down or stop you living the life you want to--it belongs to you and no one else.
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