So, I need some advice on how to approach this situation with my sister. She is dating an apparent loser. My sister is nearly 23 years old, the youngest child. She is extremely intelligent and has always been something of an artsy free spirit. A few months after graduating university last year she moved to a new city, where she knew no one, for a job in her field.
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Mar 8, 5. Mar 8, 6. I tell them exactly what I think of the people they are dating. My little sister started dating a friend of mine. Hes not exactly a loser but she could do a lot better than him and we let her know that. They are now married with two little girls and shes finally realizing that hes not exactly the guy she thought he was. He is a nice enough of a guy, he is just lazy. Since moving to this new city, she has fallen in with a less than savory crowd, and from this crowd she has begun dating a guy who sounds like a real loser.
I have not had the opportunity to meet him myself, but my parents have and they disapprove big time. Not that they think he is a bad person, just that she could do so, so much better. My parents are really cool and I trust their judgment. Her boyfriend is 28 years old with no college education and two dead-end part-time jobs.
He lives with his unstable alcoholic mother for his own financial reasons.
He evidences no ambition in life for his career. Additionally, the two guys that my sister dated previous to this one were cut from the same cloth 6 to 10 years older, no education, no job, no ambition, crazy families.
The previous relationships have lasted less than a year, and she is only a few months in with this guy. She states that it is not important to have shared life goals, similar ambitions and beliefs, and similar-ish backgrounds, etc. My mom is panicking that my sister is going to get really emotionally involved despite what she says, fall in love, and marry this guy or someone just like him. I agree that my sister seems to be in a pattern of dating loser guys.
How can I talk to my sister about her loser boyfriend streak? Have you ever been in a similar situation, and if so what did you do?
He was 20 and the last straw was when he got to spend a couple days in jail for DWI. When he asked her to come pay his bail she dumped him. I rejoiced every time they got dumped. Not much advice—my brother said the same things about the girls he dated. I hope somebody has some good advice for you; all I have is empathy! You should not try and talk her out of it.
Prince Charming… I probably would not have noticed my Prince Charming, had I not been young and stupid, dating losers! Sadly, I have to agree with Lillindy… my sister dated a loser too and my family tried to talk her out of it.
I dated a not-so-great guy for almost 4 years that my parents never really liked. My little sister in particular REALLY liked him and when she started dating a guy that was rather similar to my ex we all held our breaths but it worked out in the end. Also there might be more to him than you know.
Although it does seem like a dangerous trend for your sister, at least he works two jobs to make ends meet. I hope she realizes this. My family hated lots of guys I dated and it was super annoying. I eventually found a great guy and married him.
(Closed) Help, my sister is dating a loser
Just for a little perspective. My mother and sister thought he was a loser, and actually confronted me about it.. I loved him, and I knew the real him.
He has a license and a nice new car, he is working on getting an internship in his field, and would do anything to make me happy. My mom has tried to talk her out of it with previous loser boyfriends and my sister gets really really defensive, of course.
When your sister is dating a loser
This time around, my mom has gone out of her way to play nice. I guess I am looking for a middle road. I want her to wake up and realize that she should have higher standards for herself and that the people in her life should live up to them. She has just set the bar so low, but anytime you question where she has set the bar she claims that you are being disciminatory and unfair. Sometimes it takes dating a lot of losers to recognize the right guy when he comes along. Haha, this is such a family reaction!
We had the same reaction with Future Brother-In-Law. You know, you just have to be supportive.