When you first meet someone, character traits are not usually obvious unless he is a complete moron or meathead. But as time goes on and you date someone, character traits are revealed. You understand how he handles and manages stress, his priorities and how he takes care of himself. You see how he interacts with his roommates and friends. You see how he treats his mom and sisters. You see the level of respect he has for them.
You'll pretty much know from the get-go that he can't meet them because the man will feel "familiar" -- like a long lost friend, or like someone you "understand," someone with whom you feel "comfortable," even if you don't like what this man is saying or don't agree with his values, ideas, or goals.
If you get this "familiarity" feeling, walk away until you learn how to choose better. Falling in love with his "potential. This then becomes the only way they know how to love, so they constantly fall for guys they can "take care of" instead of equal partners. If you find yourself feeling like you want to jump in there and straighten out a guy's life, then be wary.
If you feel like he's a mess, but he's got so much potential -- potential that will blossom under your love and guidance -- then run. Listen to what a guy says about his background. Is he 40 and has never had a long-term relationship? Does he not get along with anyone in his family and yet has never sought professional help to cope with this? Does he talk about how women always betray him, never understand him, always abandon him?
Is he always losing jobs for reasons that are never his fault? Consider that there is something wrong with HIM, not everyone else. They reluctantly — and sometimes — take responsibility in the relationship.
Usually, they do not carry lots of emotional baggage from the past, and they can be encouraged to become what you seek, if you identify what needs changing, inspire change, and support the outcome.Attracting The Wrong Men: Why Do Women Attract Losers Into Their Lives?
You are entering into a period of wielding carrot and stick, praise for good behavior, withdrawal for bad.
Effective, if not grand.
Stop Dating Mr. Wrong After 60: How to Recognize the Users, Losers and Snoozers!
However, this seems manipulative. It resembles the adage that women marry men they hope will change, and men marry women they hope will not change.
This is the opposite of the victim mentality. He has goals and plans, enthusiasm, respect for others, reliability. Are you or a friend dating? How are you distinguishing User, Loser and Snoozer from Mr.
Please join the discussion. Mature Dating Mystery Solved! Forget the Funny Sweater: Here Are 6 Real Benefits of Knitting. Squinting at the Screen? How to Recognize the Users, Losers and Snoozers!
Tags Senior Dating Advice. Douglas Winslow Cooper, Ph. He still publishes and helps others write and publish their books, via http: Put Down - This guy corrects your every move in both private and public.
He corrects your speech and the way you walk. He tells you what you should wear and what you shouldn't. He tells you if you gained weight, even if it is only 2 pounds. He tells you your hair should be blonde when it is brown or vice versa. He criticizes you because your nail polish is chipped. He criticizes you for everything you do because it is never right. He attacks your self-esteem and self-confidence to make you feel worthless.
This guy belittles you in front of your friends and his friends.
How do i stop dating losers
Move on, this guy will only cause more harm than good because you will never be good enough for him. In fact, no one will ever be good enough for him. Control - This guy will try to isolate you from your family and friends. He will try to instill fear and make you dependent on him for everything. He will try to manipulate you into believing that you can't survive without him.
He wants to control you and all of your relationships. This guy will make you get rid of any male friendships. He gets jealous when you speak to your father or brother because the attention is no longer focused on him. If you don't answer the phone right away, he will question what you are doing, where you were, whom you were with, and will not ever trust you. Cheap - It's one thing to be broke because many college students are but the guy who does have money and refuses to spend it on you, even to take you to dinner at the local diner is the guy to forget about because he is not going to change.
There is a difference between being frugal and just plain cheap.