Not all parents mess up their kids in profound ways, but having an emotionally abusive parent changes every relationship a person has throughout their life. Just the opposite, actually. It all comes back to attachment theory, which is widely accepted by mental health experts to explain a massive amount about how we interact with people. According to the National Institutes of Health, how an infant attaches to a parent or caregiver will predict their social and emotional outcomes later in life. Basically, attachment theory says that as human beings, we naturally want to be around other people because being loved and loving people back makes all of us feel safe. Growing up around any or all of that means that you end up possibly having super low self esteem, being unable to trust other people, or just always feeling like your entire existence is a problem , which leads to accepting all sorts of BS in adult relationships.
Whenever I failed to do so, my penalty was harsh. I recall a day when I was nine years old. Innocently, I ordered my mom to make dinner for me, complaining about my hunger. My father was absolutely livid—I was grounded for a month and told that no woman would ever be my subordinate, and that I was never to treat one as such.
He was someone relatively close to me: Her normally rosy colored cheeks turned white, and her infectious smile violently turned into a full-fledged frown as tears rolled down her face. I need to get away. The rape has been so traumatic for my girlfriend that she is considering transferring away from our current university—a place that once brought her joy and comfort.
Perhaps the most disturbing part of this situation is that her rapist, a man who turned a confident and bubbly girl into an insecure mess, takes no responsibility for his actions. He brags about their hook up, and believes she is making the entire story up. This creates a deeper sense of neglect for my girlfriend, who feels ashamed and lonely in the seemingly winless battle against her own mind. Those close to my girlfriend have felt unimaginable sadness.
Her mother has taken mental health days home from work, unable to concentrate on her career. Her father has cancelled trips because all he can think about is his daughter. I often have what feels like hundreds of emotions flowing through me at a single time. I feel embarrassed—my own fraternity a place that I spent six miserable weeks pledging my allegiance to accepts rapists. And maybe the worst emotion of all—I feel alone. And if I ever complain about how I feel, it will be trite compared to the trauma that my girlfriend feels on a daily basis.
As my story can prove, rape is a crime that can ruin far more than two lives. So, whenever you hear about a rape victim, know the severe psychological pain that they face on a daily basis, and be respectful of their feelings. Wow, I really love this. Would love to check out any other work you might have on this topic from this particular perspective.
You build a relationship with someone who you think is emotionally balanced and one day you find yourself competing with the accomplishments of her father. It is worse if her father is successful and she is hot.
You will be immediate roadkill, if you don't live up. I know this stunning girl, who at age 45 is on her 3rd marriage to a radiologist.
She also has 2 failed engagements under her belt. She bails if the relationship starts experiencing any financial issues. My friend was a causality of the recession. Be wary if she insists on spending every weekend with her parents. That's a big red flag. There are girls who have abandonment issues or come from an abusive family. This relationship is not for the faint of heart. Generally speaking these women have built a protective shell around them. They will unconsciously throw up walls and obstacles.
They will be bitchy, argumentative, fiesty, aloof almost testing you to see what you will put up with. You need to be strong with a thick skin. It's a tough time, but if you crack through, you are in the gooey center.
If youre a player or not, this is the sexual fun zone.
Girls With Daddy Issues (Are You Dating One?)
For the next couple of months the word no is not in her vocabulary. She is willing to please and has little issue with radically testing and redefining her sexual boundaries.
Even allowing amazing souvenir pics and movies. She shows her submissive and pasionate side. At this time you make a decision to stay or move on. If she feels you played her and leave you will feel the wrath and consequences.
Dating a girl who was abused by her father
If you stick around and she wants to be with you, you will have an interesting time. On the plus side, you will have an incredibly loyal partner who is really protective of you and the relationship.
It truly is incredible. Sex will continue to be adventurous and amazing.
The good is very good. But the bad is very bad. Incredible unfounded jealousy, with bouts of extreme anger. They may want to destroy the relationship?? The thing I found so very strange is how these seemingly independent women can be so dependent. They always need to be in contact with you and demand immediate response to calls or texts. The relationship has a very wide dynamic emotional range, far more than normal, but if you maintain her trust and respect, it will be great. Most of my experience has been with older women, 30s, who have not recognized or dealt with their issues.
When my parents finally separated, he had no desire to stay in touch with any of us. Overall, Quora User is spot on. Those who are younger, not self-reflective, or have other issues will fall into the dependent archetype. I am about to graduate from a top engineering college, have interned as a software engineer in many big companies, and recently accepted an offer for full time. I am considered quite good-looking and have no shortage of decent guys pursuing me. I also have great friends and a lively social life….
I have only fallen in love with close male friends who are emotionally unavailable but GREAT guys otherwise — just hung up on an ex or focused on career or whatever. Because of their romantic unavailability, I felt our connection was genuine, no pressure, and without conditions. I will answer from personal experience and common things I see in my sisters.Brave Woman Describes Her Father's Horrendous Sexual Abuse - The Jeremy Kyle Show
To deal with us, you will have to be persistent and confident. Handle our tests and detach your ego; make it about her. If you do break through to her, you will get…. We are independent, but also very passionate lovers.
You will get a true ride-or-die, fiercely loyal woman. We are also a lot of fun. We have learned to live without the most important male figure in our life and even though we crave to fill that void, we have learned to live with it or fill it with positive things like great friends and an ambitious career. I read most of the answers. There are really nice advice from different approaches.
ITs not that easy, but its not bad either, they give you your space, they can let you be the way you want, without making their life goal to change you,. A girl I dated had issues. She was sexually abused by her father until the age of 6.
When she was 6, her father was killed in a traffic accident.
We dated for months before the issue of sex came up. She told me she was ready to do it she was 25 at this point and still a virgin and we planned a romantic trip together. On this trip, things seemed to be going well until we got into the hotel room. She gave me every indication she was ready to go, then just stopped. She never gave a reason why, she just didn't want to go through with it. About a month later, she told me she was ready to do it.
We got another hotel room and, once again, things were going great only for her to back out of it at the last minute again. We eventually did have sex. It was completely spur of the moment on her part. One night, she called me up and asked to come over. She did and it finally happened.
Every time was spur of the moment on her part. I never successfully initiated with her. Things eventually went south. She got really angry and blew up at me for relatively minor things.