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Yet, what is it about a married or the so-called 'committed' man that attracts women? Is it the thrill of being the 'other woman'? Or just the promise of love? Dr Kamal Khurana, a marriage and relationship counselor explains, "Women who fall for married men are usually seeking attention and emotional support.
Since married men seem to be more experienced and mature, they get attracted towards them. Owing to their experience, married men understand the emotional needs and desires of women better than their single counterparts. If you have convinced yourself that his family would never come to know about it, think again. If they do, you would have to deal with the guilt of inflicting emotional pain on his spouse and kids, besides hurting yourself.
It's important to consider that there are many people involved in your relationship, than just the two of you. Also, dating a man who's married may entail many restrictions such as not being seen in public places together or being with him only when he can find free time away from his family or sneak out and meet you. Even more difficult can be living with the bitter truth that you are sharing him with his wife.
Samvedna Thakur name changed on request , 27, who works in an advertising agency in Delhi claims, "I have been dating a married man for the last two years. We work in the same office. I've tried to break up with him several times but have failed in doing so. I am aware of the consequences if his wife finds out about our relationship. I also know that I am his second priority, but I am so emotionally attached to him that I'm not even being able to find an eligible man for myself and get married.
We have been together for a year. Recently, he confessed to me that he's married and is not happy with his present relationship. He said he doesn't want to cheat on me, but can't divorce his wife either. I've been trying to forget him since then and call off the relationship, but I am not being able to do so. Arvinder Singh, a psychotherapist and consultant says, "There is usually a lot of guilt associated with such relationships.
So, when you are in a relationship with a married man, it's important to analyse the emotional need that the man is being able to satisfy. Then see if you can get it elsewhere, apart from the married man. It's important to have a support system, otherwise it can be even more damaging for the woman as it could be emotionally taxing. An important question that you need to ask yourself is - 'Why is he in a relationship with you despite having a family?
It is important to evaluate and assess the benefits and drawbacks of such a relationship. You may be hoping that your man will leave his family for you so that you both can live happily ever after Assess whether the man you are dating is pursuing the relationship because he loves you or he just because he wants to take advantage of you. Poonam Tiwari name changed on request , 34, who works with a multi-national company in Noida adds, "I am in love with a married man who has a son.
I am married too and have a daughter. Mine was an arranged marriage, but after a year, lot of differences started creeping into our relationship. I met this man though a common friend and realised that he was the one for me.
Being a wife and a mother, it isn't correct on my part to be dating a married man and giving up on my marriage, but I think our ultimate goal in life is to be happy, isn't it? What's the use of being in a relationship that gives you pain and suffering? The emotional turmoil While some women dating married men may find happiness eventually, most of these relationships end up leaving you feeling lonely, used and neglected. A relationship exists because of mutual trust and commitment.
In extra-marital affairs, you can't expect to get any of these. Most women know it by instinct, but not surprisingly many fall for it. You may find yourself alone more often than you'd like because his family will always come first. Moreover, if he is cheating on his wife to be with you, what's going to stop him from cheating on you?
I met her even before I got married and proposed to her. But she said she wasn't in love with me. So, I didn't tell my parents about her and they fixed my marriage with another girl. Gradually, she realised that she loved me, but it was too late to call off the wedding.
I mean even a blind person could see him going out of his way for me. Not to mention the long looks he gives me right in front of her. Then after he stayed with me she did something to make him feel guilty.
I won't say what that is. So my relationship is nothing like what ur stories. He's here every night after work n only leaves if he has to. My wife has been the best blessing that God has ever giving to me and i was scared i would lose her to someone else thats why i contacted you guys for help and you delivered me from my doubts.
I went through all her messages on my phone as soon as you hacked into her cell and i found out she has never been cheating on me. She cares about me,our son and now i never have to worry about losing her ever again.
I will never forget the big favor you helped me the. Please I have been reading and going through all the comments I most confess this site has helped me alot reading and learning from other people's experienced.
He can never do anything more to u that have uncountable and numerous sex with u. My experience here is short and to the point I knew this man for a short time but my guts didn't trust him I kept on making excuses for him. But I could not take it to the point where he will be with me and kept on calling his wife in my presence these when on for some time.
Like seriously all I needed was fun but it should came with some respect. So I have decided to move on as if nothing ever happened to safe myself from emotional landslide. I'm currently seeing a married man for 2 years now. We both know that we are 'special' friends with benefits. The first time I met him, at work, I got attracted to him and then I saw his wedding ring, for a while I got sad. But he kept being him who is a great man and we got closer and we laughed together.
I liked him again and fantasized about him. Then we kissed and kept doing it and after a month I invited him to my place. I was a virgin then, we did everything except penetration. It was my choice. He comes over times a week and hooked up at work too. One day, he texted me that we needed to lay low because his wife got suspicious.
She saw him parked at the corner of the street by their house on his phone. He said it was a call from work. He never called or texted for 3 weeks. I got mad because he can't even text me even if he's at work. We were in different departments then Then he reached out and we talked in person. I told him that he has 3 priorities. I told him that we will never have a future together my point was, to keep his family.
I knew where I stand, I never wanted to be his wife, I would love to but I am not expecting and I want to be a mother in the future and he's already fixed so that would be a problem. I am not a homewrecker. I don't ask for money, he did give me flowers and candies then but I'm not expecting more because his wife might be suspicious with his credit and I don't want to get him in trouble and I still want to keep our relationship.
We talk about his kids most of the time and I respect him and his family. We both know that I will be with someone who I can be with for the rest of my life. Btw, I gave my vcard to him and for now, we are still having fun. Every coin has two of its sides. The same is here. First of all, the question seems objective but it is not. It is rather subjective and has a full length of ifs and buts.
The strongest of the things in the universe that is love sees no boundaries. So, if it is not wrong to fall in love, loving a married man is also no wrong. See, what happened when a woman had a huge crush on his married boss at https: I don't share my man to anyone. So no way in this wide world I would accept him to sleep with another woman. Luckily, I found that man for 17 years and still going strong Bottom line, I don't share a man with any woman as long as I live.
If I die yes, he can sleep with other woman. If he or I cross the line. Just simple as that. So that said, I don't sleep with a married man who also sleep with his wife. I said that I do that with my clear consciousness. So if you allow or accept the situation whether you like it or not, I am sorry but sounds like you are NOT a strong person at all. You're your worse enemy. Affair with a married man is something like feeling as if you are inside a pressure cooker.
Many and many things cook inside you. You just do not know what is happening with you and what should be done? You are in constant fix over the point that either wrong is happening to you or it is you are who is doing the wrong? The sense of guilt starts to take over you and your affair with man and makes the situation go even worse. But that even teaches you a lot of things. Most of the married men who have affair with other women are found to cheat even the girlfriend.
They have commitment issues. You can get amazing look at about dating a married man. This story is about a 17 year old lass who had an affair with https: What if no kids are involved and his wife is never around. They are military so they rushed into a relationship and he already filed for divorce. She is deployed, but now she is coming back. He claims he is going to finalize everything and make sure his name is off everything, but im not stupid.
He is ex military so they have that connection that I would never understand. After all he loved her enough to marry her even though they only dated for two months and she asked him first. When she gets back in town they are gonna have sex. I already cut things off with him, but he refuses to let me go. We dont even have sex. Its been almost a month. Agin his wife is away and we been on this rollercoaster for 3 years.
Decided to become friends in and he apologized i got mad and cut him off agin, i felt there was something more. He told me is wife got deployed but they are separated and he filed for divorce. Summer of his wife is about to come back I dont trust him so i dont have faith he will go through with finalizing the divorce. I literally wanted to cry. It made me feel special. Come to find out his phone broke the day after I ended things.
So I called his job and he was happy to gear from me and we laughed about the situation. The sad thing is he was telling the truth about his phone. I told him that we shouldnt still see eachother anymore and he should definitely focus on his wife!
I dont want to be the reason he is getting a divorce! I want him to try one last time when sge gets back and I love him enough to see that he is happy without me. The article feels like saying story of mine. I got love with a married man with 2 sons. We started our relationship with truth in our family. He has 2 kids I have one.
We are in relationships since 5 yrs. Even it is very hard and painful that when you know your love is having sex with his wife though you left your husband for him. He is saying he can't leave his wife and kids and me too. M really in depression and stress. I couldn't handle the situation anymore. M getting away from all happiness then also I can't leave this man.
Why I have been chosen to have such depression. I want to come out but I can't leave him. I have told him.
Affair Survival: Tips For Dating a Married Man
Don't leave them but please marry me, I want to stay with you atleast twice a week. It is very painful when he leave me everyday in a lonely world. Now I m feeling so lonely and he is having dinner with his family. Really I don't want to live. I m fail in life. I left my husband I ruined my life but I can't get him. I have never related to an article this much. I'm falling for a married man and it's making me soft. I didn't plan to fall for him, I just wanted someone who's not fully available to hang out with.
These days I don't mind paying for dates and I rarely ask for money from him. Reading this I think I should sober up and start making it worth my time.
You're right, he's not sacrificing it all for me, why the hell should I! I have been in a long distant relationship for 8 years. When we first met he said he haven't been married nor has any kids. Last year I have visited him and he showed me around his hometown and we even visited his mothers grave.
I felt for the 1st time he shared something personal. Last year he proposed to me and we are planning to get married in aug, I have had this strong intuition during these years being with him he has been cheating on me. But I just ignored this suspicious feeling. The last 3 years he has been eager to start a family with me.
Right now I am at his apartment all alone while he says he is 'working'. While he has been working the last 4 days I have been snooping around his place. The first day I found out he had 4 kids and a wife saw hidden letters and pictures. I was devastated and really sad. The next day I found out he was divorced with 2 children. And I calculated that he was going through this divorce and was married later with this other woman with 4 kids and seeing me at the same time.
I feel hurt because of his dishonesty and disrespect and much more. I developed feelings for him but I haven't confronted him yet about what I know.
Yesterday he I asked him to sign the marriage license papers and he seemed reluctant and then he said he would contact his lawyer first because of the marital status would change his taxes. I am torn because this is exactly what happen with my father. He cheated on my mom with several woman. I felt resentment towards him and called his women for prostitutes. Now I am in the same situation being the other woman.
I am in my late 30s and I am somehow desperate to have children and I feel like my clock is ticking, I feel sorry for his wife and kids who sees him as a hero - read it from his kids letter with a drawing on them. Maybe I am being selfish just to have kids with him but I feel like I don't have the time to find another man.
How to Handle Loving and Dating a Married Man
Honestly I don't think the marriage license would be signed. I know it's wrong to continue a relationship with him, but I have invested so much time and feelings that it would be hard to have a life without him. I am with a married man who has never lied to me about anything. He has never said that he is unhappily married or shown me dreams of getting married to him. He has been very straightforward from the start.
Even while he proposed he said he knows this is wrong but he can't stay away from me. We have discussed about our feelings a hundreds times and have tried to put an end to this but somehow we keep getting back. He makes me his priority always. From the time I open my eyes till I close them he is constantly in touch with me.
He shares all his problems, tensions with me. Our relationship is nt only abt sex. He guides me , supports me gives me good advices and looks out for me.
He never misses an opportunity to make me feel special. I have a great bonding with his son too. He even discusses his son's progress with me. We both don't want to give him a broken family. Bt if incase he ever decides to leave her i m ready to accept his son with open arms. N this has been going on for the past 6 yrs. Initially i used to hope tht he might marry me. But the way this relationship has shaped out marraige no longer seems important to me. Maybe i m going crazy But i want to stay in this relationship.
This relationship is far better than the one i had with my ex hubby. N also he is very caring towards my daughters Neither of us are dependent on another for financial reasons.
We are independent bt dependent emotionally. Well does anybody out there understand this relationship? I can't understand the parts of this article where the married guy must financially support the mistress to make the affair worth her while?
If a guy is sleeping with a married woman, does she have to support him financially? I honestly don't get it. A little old fashioned maybe? I find myself sleeping with a colleague that is married with two kids.
I don't feel good about the fact that he is married, but I am not doing it because he may support me financially or because he may help me buy a house or whatever. This sounds like prostitution to me, which in my point of view is a lot better than what I am doing, but that's beside the point.
I am sleeping with him because he makes me feel desired and wanted. He gives me pleasure like I haven't experienced before. It is my choice to be part of this, and this has nothing to do with money. How does making him support you financially make things any better? It would make me want to kill myself if after having passionate sex with me, he sent me some money or dropped some notes on my bed. I own up to the fact that I am a horrible person for doing this, I cannot justify it or make excuses.
It is a selfish, demeaning and foolish act and that's the end of it. I don't want him to leave his family. I love my independence and seeing him sporadically and with no emotional complications suit me well. It sucks and it's a choice, so if it sucks that much, move away or deal with the consequences.
If you are emotionally or sexually involved with a married person, you need to STOP immediately. You may not have a clue but you are being complicit in the absolute destruction of another's life. If you don't believe that, you need to take a big step back and look at some of the current research about relationship traumas and betrayal.
It is a cancer upon the lives of everyone involved. Am in a relationship with a married man,when ever I bring a topic that some days our relationship will end he will be mad at me,his he using me or what? Dating with a married man its not good becouse everything you need to do is limited i am dating with a married man its been 8 years now last year he proposed me but I didn't accept his ring i said i will accept it when he pay damage bcz now its only me and him know about this ring even his family didn't know about me.
I have fallen in love with a man on the internet. I'm courtly dating with a man who was married. They are not together with the girl for 7 years and still not annulled. The man was afraid of getting new relationship with me but he was afraid of letting me go. I'm glad I came across this.
Things to know about dating a married man
I'm seeing a married guy who totally lied about his relationship status. He's a coworker who gets angry at me when he sees me talking to other male co-workers. I needed this, thanks for the insight. So here is a general principle: Then you will know what to do. You all need to step up to try yo think through your own problems.
And lastly, you earn a good life by yourself, not anyone else. I've been involved with a guy recently. We do not stay in the same country. He comes to my country every two months for work then we meet each other.
On his first visit, we've gone out a couple of times and he actually asked for other times to be with me although back then I'm in an open relationship with another guy hence I really don't pay attention to him. After his first visit, he went back to his home country and continued chatting and keeping in touch with me.
By that time, I have not much interest in him as the other guy I dated and I decided to be exclusive. Unfortunately, the other guy has issues with commitment and isn't emotionally available so I ended our relationship. Then the first guy messaged me asking why I've been quiet and whether I've been upset.
I thought it's an opportunity to forget the other guy so I reconnected with this guy. We went on chatting for a month before he came back to the country where I'm at.
We met and I introduced him to my friends. My friends liked him and I did see that he was able to mingle with us inspite the fact that we are totally from different cultures.
After that meeting, I went home with him to his hotel. And we had sex. That is my first time to have sex with anyone. It's not because I'm saving it for marriage but because my gut feel tells me whether I should do it or not.
But for some reason with this guy, I felt a deep connection with and I never had hesitations to do it with him. We spent all the days he was here together. I even took care of him when he got sick. Then we even had a night when we just cuddled and no sex involved. He was gentle and respectful all the time. He left for his country again, we continued chatting and he's not the type who chats. I opened up my thoughts about it and I did see that he exerted more effort in keeping in touch with me.
Our messages are filled of I miss yous and I can't wait to see you messages. I've never been more patient with anyone than I was with him. Then after a month, something urged me to research about him. I found his linkedin account then his fb. I never like adding the guy Im dating on social sites to avoid me seeing his past life. But what I found out after a week of stalking is heartbreaking. I was led to a fb page of a woman who is married to him. They've been together for 11 years and married since They don;t have kids.
I ended the relationship right away when I found out and he told me this "I'm sorry for not being honest with you: I have never done anything like this. But I like you and that's why I never had the nerve to tell you the truth.
Because I believe that it's better to hurt the person with the truth than make him happy with a lie. I stopped all connection with him after that. But my heart hurts so much whenever i remember that he's the one that I've give my whole self to. Its not a comment as such, but i need an advice. How do i ask for it and wont it cause any problems? He says he loves me and by his actions i see that and believe it too.
I ended the relationship I was with a married man after three years. We went to Mexico and he paid for the trip and I paid for airfare so a sugar daddy he was not. No contact for almost a month but I keep thinking about him.
He told me was married and never said he would leave his wife and I never asked him to just thought someone else would come along a lot sooner. It hurts not having him in my life and it hurt when he was in my life because I was never his priority ever. From hard pain and experience, dating a married man is extremely hard. I am always wondering his true feelings for his wife even though they are separated.
I have gut feelings that he secretly private messages her on YouTube and messenger I have not once felt secure with him. The worrying never stops. I feel like an idiot for being loyal to him. I've read the article and some comments. I have been with my guy over 7yr.
We have had ups and downs. He has been honest from the beginning. And we have love and trust but I'm not unrealistic I know he most likely won't leave. I've met other guys and dates.
Add to the mix another married man. They know about each other. I love them both for different reasons. As long as you can live with it and know what's real.
I really live this man but just the mixed feelings killing me He shows so much interested in me I have been with this married man for a year now.. I am just emotionally drain right now I want him for my self but its just taking to long.. I love him do want to leave because of his situation but its hard to do.. I'm just having the bunch of mixed feelings right now My case was different cos I met him single.
We've been in relationship for almost 3 years then he decided to go for arranged marriage. I was so broke and so down that he just decided so fast without thinking of our relationship. I can't blame his culture and his family's plan for him. So, I still keep in touch with him even after his marriage and he is giving response as well that he still loves me and don't want to leave me.
I know it's unfair for me now, knowing that He has wife now and I am waiting for him to come back to me. In your position, I think I might have asked the spell caster to make my cheating husband's manhood go gangrenous and drop off. Hi Ladies, i have been looking foe woman who have been the same road as i am taking now.
I have been knowing this guy since last June and dating him now for 9 months. We have alot in common but what i think i love most about him is that he's been honest from jump.
We live 3 hours away so we don't really see each other much. Yet we talk everyday. He has 2 kids with his wife and they have been married 17 years. I have never dated a married man before and i told him i had no intentions on being with one!! Totally against everything i stand for but what do you do when he's everything you need.
He calls my kids and ask them how there day went at school, keeps them in line, sings to them, and they love him but never met him. I on the other hand love him but i do see other guys to keep me from falling head over heels. He dont tell me sweet nothings but i can always tell through his actions that he do love me as well. I have nothing but respect for him and he has respect for me. He says its ok if i see other guys but i know for fact that was a whole lie. I think man i need to really let this go cause he never will.
He's saying and doing more each day to prove to me that he cares for me and i don't even think he realizes it. I love him but i know im going to have to let it go. He thinks we will still remain friends but i don't know if i could. Or she sees a relationship with a married man as a way of validating her own attractiveness see I can attract a married man, who is risking so much to be with me.
And no the guy does not respect his wife and family, or he would not be diverting funds and time away from their family. My ex husband left after over 9 years, but it did not work out with the mistress or wife number 2, so I guess you could say he had a big dose of karma and to be quite honest the mistress did me a big favour, as I think I am much better off without this cheating scumbag.
I am trying hard not to judge but please help me understand why do you do it? There are plenty of hot,decent single men out there waiting for a good woman to love them,what's the allure of dating a married man? Its not like they would ever love you,leave their wives for you,treat you as an equal or marry you,so what's the allure? Believe me ladies,I know how hard finding a great guy is,but they are out there. I will not judge any woman who chooses to do that because that's life things happen, but you need to be strong if you want to play.
And hell ya the single life! I love coming home whatever the time i want! No difference even if he threatens with suicide. If he really does commit suicide, then it's better he stay dead instead of continue to insult my IQ. So it all depends how ruthless you can be and how much you want to love yourself. Here is a quote from Coco Chanel: As long as you know men are like children, you know everything! And lastly, Why the heck did I receive an email from HubPages editor about "How to be single and mingle"?
What the hell does my status have to do with your editor or whatever whoever writes? Either some staff saw my comment and sent me that promotion, or a data analysis machine sorted me to that promotion. Either way my privacy feels invaded and I will thus unsubscribe from all the feeds from this website.
But I will find a way to reply my dear Diana since she cares to be curious about my story. So now, let's see if the author has the ball to let public of this comment evil laughing here hahaha. I'm really glad I came across this article. I'm currently in a relationship with a married man for around half a year.
He made it clear from the beginning that he's married and has one son but not having sex anymore with his wife for years. He said that he loves her "as a family", not in a romantic way, and they have chosen to not get divorce because of the son. He also said I'm not the first "girlfriend" he had; there were two other women before me.
I felt happy in the beginning because I know that he loves me even until now. But then my happiness turns to guilt when he begins to spend more of his time with me; even keeps texting me all day and calling me when he's home. Also, he never hesitates to show his feeling in public area, such as holding my hand or kiss and hug me. However, when I talked to him about the future, he said firmly that he cannot leave his family. I wouldn't lie that this relationship puts me in a dilemma.
I feel left behind and lonely every time he comes home to his family, but at the same time I feel guilty if he spend more time or money with me than his family. All this feeling makes me unhappy, I can't feel the joy of the relationship. I openly talked about all my feelings to him and said that I want to break up. Come to think of it, I had asked for break up twice, but he always cried and begged me to stay in his life because he said he loved me so much and that I was the gift that he's got in his ruined life.
I don't see why he doesn't want to let me go. What's the point of having this kind of relationship? Last month I got pregnant, and he immediately asked me to abort the pregnancy.
I was really really depressed, it made me so stressed and had miscarriage. It was my first pregnancy in my life, not a very nice experience. He was there, took care of me 24 hours for weeks until my health condition was better and no further doctor check up needed. Simply because he talks in a negative way about his marriage doesn't mean that his obligations to his wife are any less important to him.
Whether or not they have children is a moot point; he will always feel as if he has to be a husband to her and take care of the marriage, whether he truly loves her or not. Their life together includes friendships and a social network that is shared and comfortable for him.
He won't risk losing that. His life with you is secret and always will be. No matter how much you may want to walk in the sunshine with him and have him openly acknowledge his love for you, it won't happen. While he is more than willing to be your lover and to bring you gifts, he is not about to have you meet his friends and risk having his family find out about you.
No matter how nice a guy he is, you are a temporary diversion for him. This is not an easy statement to comprehend. Unfortunately it is true. The beginning of an affair is romantic and naughty at the same time. Planning to be together becomes a fascinating game and is thrilling to say the least. Stealing hours from work or home to have sex is exciting, and you may mistake his libido-driven passion for undying love.
The game soon becomes a chore for him, and romantic interludes are just one more thing he "has to do. He will not leave his wife. Less than 5 percent of men leave their wives for the woman with whom they are having an affair.Dating a Married Man?
Whether it is because of all the legal and financial problems attached to divorce, religious beliefs or the fact that they have become comfortable with their marriage the way it is -- or even because they still have a certain affection for their wives, men rarely end up with the other woman.
Even Katharine Hepburn knew, and accepted, this fact during her long affair with Spencer Tracy. And don't ever kid yourself on this important point: